Abroad Experience

The end of summer

2009-08-27T06:27:00.000-07:00

Summer is over in Holland.

And I don't just mean weather wise (that's a given).

It is easy to see, this clear distinction between summer vacation and fall. I began to notice it about two weeks ago, but very abruptly this week. Thousands of Dutchies flee the country in the 6 week period from early-July to end of August. Probably most of them flee to southern France. That seems to be the escape route of Dutchies. In mid-July, all you hear about on the news are the endless traffic jams, miles and miles long, in Germany and France, going south.

But in the last two weeks, the trains to and from work have been getting fuller. Its harder to get a seat to myself again. The car traffic in the mornings is picking up. Its getting more dangerous riding my bike again! More kids are on the sidewalks at 815am, riding to school next to Dutchie-mom , who is also hauling two toddlers on her own bike. Grocery stores are getting more packed full of people again. summer sales are over, and the saturday market is getting busier every weekend.

Its clear to see that summer is over. Back to life-as-usual in Holland. Basketball is beginning, and the busy times ensue. And looking forward to next summer's vacation when all will be calm again, here on the home front.

roller coaster summer

2009-08-10T06:30:00.000-07:00

Hard to believe that over 2 months has gone by since the last post. This has been a mostly good summer, and time has flown by. My brother and sister came for a one week visit in early June. This was a wonderful time and the highlight of the summer. Of course the time was too short and was over so quickly!

I've continued working on through June and July, with a few non-work-related fun things here and there. I started jogging again with Matt about 3 times a week, to get me on track for a 5-k run, but that is not my plan to run an actual 5k race, its only a training schedule. The last 2 wks have not been very good due to lack of time. I'm not much of a runner/jogger anyways, but if it will help me stay somewhat ready for the up coming basketball season, then why not. And I want my pants to continue to fit me. Matt and I also started going to a yoga class. It is pretty tough stuff, and involves a lot more sweating that I imagined. The calming nature of yoga has yet to show its face. Its kind of painful at times, but I hope it will change something for the better.

My continued search for satisfying employment has not resulted in anything new yet. Luckily (I suppose), my contract was renewed for 6 more months, so at least I will have an income for now. This continues to be my overbearing problem in my life, with the lack of job satisfaction overtaking every other area in my life and often times I become pretty upset and depressed. And of course this job situation is reflective of my living here in Holland, so many doubts arise daily and often hourly if this is the right place for me. Even after 2.5+ years here full time, my feelings about living here are still a roller coaster ride. I wonder if this will ever change. Probably not. It is a almost constant internal battle/discussion in my head.

Another friend of mine has left Amsterdam and moved home. Another will move back home in a month and a half. Re-reading the book My Dam Life, by Sean Condon, a few weeks back was a good choice; reading about another expat's attempt at normal functioning life as an foreigner in Holland (before the rules got so strict even) and later failure was a bit comforting, knowing I am not the only one in this situation. Of course it doesn't actually help in the long run, my situation has not changed. But I am trying very hard sometimes to change the way I view and look at the situation itself. While the idea of moving back to the US has come up several times in conversation this summer, its not a real feasible plan at this point in time. For now, I will remain here, and try to change certain aspects in my life that will maybe help me enjoy myself more in the present, and try not to worry about things I cannot change in the future....Again, leading to the roller coaster emotions.

Costa Rican Adventure

2009-05-28T12:21:00.000-07:00

I haven't written awhile, but that's because M and I were gone on vacation for almost a month. On April 20th, he had his PhD defense and graduation, along with a party at night. Two days later on the 22nd, we were westward bound towards the US and then south to Costa Rica. We went for the wedding of a friend of mine, who is from San Jose but lives here in Utrecht and was marrying her Dutch fiancee. It was a beautiful wedding at a wonderful location...the reception was in the mountains at a hotel overlooking a lake. After that we went on to the southern Caribbean coast for a few days, and enjoyed some time on some deserted beaches. We stayed in a bungalow in the rainforest with 2 walls open to the outside (screened). We slept to the sound of rain on the tin roof and frogs and insects chirpping, and howler monkeys waking us up before the sun at 4am. It was my favorite place of the whole vacation. We moved on from there to the southern Pacific coast, to the Osa Peninsula. This is the most isolated areas of Costa Rica, with the most pristine rainforests. Drake Bay is only accessible by twin engine propellor plane or boat...or I suppose a horse or 4 x 4 in the dry season. From there we went on a 2 day hike in Corcovado National Park . It was about 18 km of walking each day...the first day from 7-9am on horseback, then 10am-515pm walking. I was totally exhausted...we stayed over night at the ranger station Sirena, very primitive facilities! The next day another several hours walking along the beach, both on sand, on rocks, on land, and along the forested shore area, and also past rocky headland cliffs, where the rising tide proved to be a bit dangerous and tricky towards the end. It was the most adventurous thing I've ever done in my life, and I'm glad I did it, but I probably won't do that again for awhile!

After that we went up north to Arenal volcano, the most active volcano in the western hemiphere. there is a constant plume of smoke coming out. we heard explosions at times, and one night we were lucky and the clouds parted for about 20 minutes and we could see the orange glow of lava at the top! Finally, we went to the Monteverde cloud forest. It is a rainforest in a higher elevation (in the clouds), so there is more moss at this level due to the moisture.
We saw so many amazing animals- three different kinds of monkeys, colorful and beautiful birds, snakes (poisonous and non), spiders, poison red dartfrogs, a 5 foot long iguana, hermit crabs, manta rays, fish, dolphins, and sloths! including baby sloths!!!

Unfortunately, I do not have many pictures to share, as our hotel room was broken into in Drake Bay while we were sleeping around 4-5am on our last morning there, and our cameras were stolen. My camera is very important, I love taking photographs. All our wonderful wedding photos, palm tree lined beach photos, animal pictures...gone. :-( Luckily our money and passports were still there. I am such a light sleeper I cannot imagine why I did not wake up and hear him. But our money and passports were stupidly in a wide open spot, maybe I did start to roll around and he got scared and took off. Two other rooms were also broken into, and they lost hundreds in cash, credit cards, passports, cameras, and even BOOTS!!! We were quite lucky. The dude slit open the screen next to the door a few inches and reached inside and opened the one measly lock to the door. So simple was it. We will never get our stuff back, but at least we were safe and not hurt. So,the first theft in Drake Bay recorded, in this small town of under 300 people (spread out over a large area). Why didn't they wait one more day til after we were gone!?!

After CR, we flew to Wisconsin, since we were on that side of the world anyways! We visited my parents in their new house for 3 days before flying back to the Netherlands. I am glad we went there, it was too short of a visit though.

Now its back to 'real life' in Holland. Back to work again. But, most importantly, back to my bunnies, waiting for us here!

Two year expiration date...

2009-04-10T02:11:00.000-07:00

Well, not for me really. My two year mark has come and gone, quietly... back in February. It is amazing that it has been already two years! I lived in DC for (exactly) two years as well, and that seemed to go at a much slower pace than these 2 years here. I think that 2 years is kind of the tipping point for living here in Holland. Its the point where either you've had enough and can't take it anymore, or....you just keep trying (maybe like a goldfish with an 8 second memory span). The original newness wears off quickly here, when you are not a tourist. You are confronted with the weather (you've survived 2 dark, wet winters and two wet and cool summers), the lack of proper medical attention that you are used to in your own country, the almost impossible task of "integrating", and the high level of arrogance with a large percentage of the population. Not to mention the language barrier. I'd like to say that I made it though all these obstacles, but I can't. I continue to be confronted with these things all the time. Some days are better than others; sometimes I don't mind living here, other times I just want to leave.

Back in February, I found out that I passed all four parts of the national language exam I took in December. That means that i'm "integrated" into dutch society by the dutch government. I can now apply for citizenship next year without having to take a integration exam. I have a diploma and am now allowed (technically) to attend university classes in Dutch and work in Dutch-language business environments. I don't entirely believe that, because I still have problems with speaking properly on a higher level than just regular conversation (seems I have problems in english now too!). But at least I have a piece of paper to show after 1.5 years.

I often feel that I never (will) understand anything around me or to be able to fully participate in life here. I cannot respond or joke with some one in a random comment on the bus. I cannot stand up for myself (in Dutch) if someone is offending me. I cannot understand word for word the news or a conversation. I don't want to go through my whole adult life not completing knowing what is going on around me, and just remaining in some oblivious state of being. I suppose I mostly feel like that when I am "interacting" with other dutch people - mostly dealing with basketball. Whether at practice, or the drinks after a game, I usually just sit there while they chatter on. Its not too often that someone tries to engage me in conversation or gets to know me.

All this takes its toll on a person's self-esteem and self-worth. And patience! While I was working at TT, I made three friends, all three of them are not Dutch. Two moved here for dutch partners, 1 on his own. One of these friends already moved back to his home country in March, after just under 2 years of living here. Another friend, is giving herself a time limit and refuses to still be here in December of this year, which will be just over 2 years of her living here. Experiences here for all of us, have been difficult, but also sometimes degrading and insulting too. If one realizes they will be happier somehwere else, it is not a failure to leave here. It is actually an accomplishment to have survived so long, and to realize its time to move on. I will certainly miss them, as finding friends (that you can be your true self with) in a foreign country is difficult. We went through some interesting and difficult times together at TT, and their support is the only thing that got me through my 1 year of working there and through my first year of living in Holland. I continue to seek and appreciate their advice and support, I will be sad when they leave (or left already in the case of one friend). I just wonder when my expiration date for Holland will arrive. Or even more scary, will it arrive?

The day has finally arrived!!!

2009-01-20T13:10:00.000-08:00

How can I let this wonderful day go by without writing something documenting it!? I can't! Today is one of the most exciting and enthralling days of my life! Obama is my new president! I finally can be proud of my country, and of what it stands for: for good, not bad. I left work early to make sure I was home to witness this amazing moment in history! The scenes of millions of people packing the National Mall, 2 miles long, to view this one moment in history, to be a part of it. Its even more exciting to me because Washington DC was my former home. I wish more than anything that I could have been there today. Its so wonderful to see all these buildings, corners and scenes that were, and still are, so familiar to me. I was only there just 2 months ago for a visit. I'm so happy that Obama is now the leader of my country. He is an intelligent, charismatic, young, handsome man with a beautiful family. I am so proud of his amazing accomplishments in such a short time, and I look forward to all the wonderful things he will accomplish in the next four years. The city is alive with a magical feeling and such happiness. I wish I could be there to take part. But instead, I will forever remember this day and where I was when he was sworn in. I was sitting on my couch at home with M, able to witness it live on tv. My body was physically here, but my heart and spririt were in DC. Despite all the pomp and circumstance, and all the cheesiness (you could say) of American life centered around this weekend, I miss it! I like it, and that will never change!

I think this was the first inauguaration that I've ever really watched. Not only is that because of age and interest, but also significance. Never before has an inauguration meant so much before. Its not just the historical significance, but also his message of change that brings hope to so many. It is a change in mentality for the government and the direction our country will move in in the future.

here in holland, several watch parties took place, all over the country. I was going to go to a democrats abroad watch party at the hard rock cafe in amsterdam, but i RSVP'ed too late and was not able to get in! Several dutch politicians were also just as ecstatic and emotional as us Americans today. the prince even came back from the middle east today and made sure he could watch the ceremony online. the ceremony was even carried live on 3 dutch channels. this new president is not only important to the US, but also to the whole world.

I dont have to preach on the significance of this day in American history. we all know how special this 44th president is to our history. but still, the magical feeling is alive in me and millions of others around the world. and i think it will stick with me for many days to come.

Ice crazy

2009-01-12T11:24:00.001-08:00

NL, Jan '09
Originally uploaded by jogjasweet.

Its been a very historical past few weeks here in Holland. Since around Christmas time, its been relatively cold, by Dutch standards. Its been below zero (celcius) several days in a row, and its been so cold that the canals are freezing over all over the Netherlands. This has not happened in twelve years! The Dutch are going crazy for skating! It is in their blood, in their culture, yet they have been unable to skate on natural ice in twelve whole years. This past weekend, over 200,000 Dutchies took to the ice. Of course there is a fair share in injuries and accidents, since they are not used to the ice, either falling down and breaking wrists or falling through thin ice. Surprisingly there has only been one death (of falling through the ice). It is definitely a special sight to see, kids playing on the iced over canals in the twilight hours of the evening, some for the first time in their lives.

The ice is so important for these dutchies, that even last week Friday, some government agencies gave their employees the option to leave work at 1pm without taking vacation time, to go ice skating!!! They call it "ijsvrij", or "ice free". Unbelievable!!! Way to go, Ministry of Foreign Affairs for setting the standards...

The only unfortunate thing is that the Dutch couldn't have their famed "11 city tour", which is a one day tour/race of ice skating on the canals to 11 cities in Friesland. They are only allowed to do it if the ice is at least 15cm thick.

I come from the land of cold, snow, and ice: the frozen tundra as we so endearingly call it. But I am not used to riding my bike in below 0 degree weather! I also have not ice skated in several years, nor gone sledding (which I would love to do at any time, but there are no hills here at all!). But there is definitely something special about enjoying something so simple (to me) as ice, and seeing the landscape transformed from being dotted with cows and sheep to being dotted by skaters with orange hats.

parking problems of another sort...

2008-12-22T03:25:00.000-08:00

One funny thing I came across in the news this past week that is so typically dutch: a parking problem for bikes, specifically bak-fiets. These bikes are mainly used by the hip/trendy dutchy parents in their 30's to cart their kids to and from school or around town in an extra long bike with a cart in the front that can fit 2-4 kids. And these trendy parents are found particularly in the the more upscale neighborhoods in Utrecht (not my neighborhood!). These bikes of course take up more space than the normal bike, and are actually causing parking problems at schools, at grocery stores, and other places around town. And in true Dutch spirit, this issue has found its way to the political agenda in some neighborhood organizations. They want to have special parking spots for these bikes, because it inconviences other 'regular' bikers. These political groups are thinking of having a special corner for bak-fieters.

Only in Holland.

You can never go home again

2008-12-18T07:28:00.000-08:00

Its been quite awhile since I've written. Part of that was due to a two week trip to the US in November. The main reason for going was to be at the wedding of a good college friend of mine in St. Louis. But I combined this with a trip back "home" to Washington D.C., my home from 2005-2007, and to my real home, Sheboygan. It was a busy two weeks, but I enjoyed myself. M didn't come with, mostly because of time and money, but also that I was in the wedding too, and he'd be bored most of the time, as we were doing girl things. It was good to go back and visit with some good friends, eat some good food (mostly unhealthy!), and see my family again. Having gone to the US right after the election, and only hearing pro-Obama things here in Holland, I was a bit taken aback at the reality of the situation is certain places of the country. But, I suppose it was good to get a reality check. As my dad said, "you've been in Europe too long" (in an effort to add some humor/cheer me up). Its only been 2 years, have I changed that much? No, I think I was already this way before: open to new things and ideas, concerned for people's civil rights and human rights, concerned for the environment, and concerned about the current reputation of the US around the world and our lack of international cooperation (and common sense). When I heard some of the things I did while in the US, I was both shocked and scared. Its quite sad there there are people so close-minded, and it was a good reminder to me of, despite my complaints about Holland, that people really are better off here. It may be "absolute anarchy" in Amsterdam, as Bill O'Reilly so kindly put it on FOX News this past week, on the culture problems the Dutch have (um, ok). So many coffee-shops (not really), the red-light district (its regulated and in a small area only), and everyone distrespects the 'baby Jesus'....Well, despite the often bad manners I see here, things aren't all that bad (I suppose). There may be a lot of rules, but the government is around to regulate and take care of its citizens. Taxes may be higher here, but there are programs and organizations to take care of everyone and everything. Whether you are sick, unemployed, homeless, poor....there are ways to help. I will pay higher taxes to help others. I may have no choice (except to leave), but I will do it. Transportation is loads better. I don't have ot own a car here at all. It not only helps the environment, it also saves me tons of money. I can afford to actually save money here, unlike my situation while living in DC. And while I can see that this probably would never work in such a big country as the US, its really disturbing how people react to ideas and ways of life that are different than their own. As much as I want to move back to the US, because of being closer to my family and friends, as well as the familiarity of it all, I really scared myself thinking of not coming back (right away).

Usually I go home for the holidays, and this time was different. It was not only an eye-opening visit. But it was also the last time that physically will be going "home" to my house that I grew up in. My parents are moving over the next few months to a house they built 30 miles outside of Sheboygan. While it is a nice house on a lake in the quiet countryside, its not 'home' to me. This was the last time I slept in my bedroom that I grew up in, where I played as a kid, listened to my parents read me bedtime stories, hid under my pillow so I wouldn't see the lightning in summer, or the bright glow of orange sneaking into my room from the reflection of the streetlights off the snow in winter, and the excitement of knowing when I would wake up the next day, it would be Christmas morning. Never again, will I have the possibility to go back to this room after coming home for a visit. Its very difficult for me to accept that I cannot go home again. Growing older is not easy: to do or to accept.

Since the US, I have been working and finishing off Dutch lessons. After 1.5 years, I've had enough. I do not want to come home at 1030pm anymore. I get the most stressed out when I do not have time for myself to do what I want to do (or do nothing at all). But working full time and going to school 6 hours a week is tough. And while I finished on the 2nd of December, the real apogee of my entire "life" in Holland arrived this week. How integrated am I really? I took the Dutch national language test, otherwise known as the staatsexam. It consists of 4 parts: reading, writing, listening, and speaking. If you pass them all, you get a diploma saying you are 'fluent' in Dutch, and you are allowed to follow courses/programs at the university level. Unfortunately they only offer it during the daytime (in typical Dutch unhelpful fashion), so I had to take 2 days off of work for this...when it could have been offered within one day ---or at night. Anyways, I will know in 5 weeks if I passed or not. And while the diploma may say I'm fluent, I really don't think I am. I can converse in simply constructed sentences, but I can follow a conversation if I'm actually paying attention. And I know how to take tests well. I was the only westerner at these exams, and there was an over-representation of women. Only 2 of 20 people at today's test were guys. And I recognized no one from my classes at the local ROC school. So, in 5 weeks, we'll see if I'm really integrated enough into Dutch society. But all I had to do was go back to my home country for 2 weeks to know that I might not belong there either anymore.

The day after: verkiezingen in de VS (election in the US)

2008-11-05T00:07:00.000-08:00

I haven't been able to write for awhile, due to an exhaustive schedule. Many things have happened in the last month. But the most important news in years and years, the presidential election, I cannot pass this historic day by without writing something!

In the last few weeks, I have gotten asked several times by people if I can vote. And I replied, yes of course! i already did! I sent my absentee ballot in about 3 weeks ago. I have to explain how that works of course. My only trouble with that was the fact that I needed an American citizen to sign the ballot as a witness. WI is the only state that requires a US citizen as a witness. Now, when you live in a foreign country, as is part of the point of an absentee ballot---where do you think I will come across an American? I was really worried I wouldn't get my vote in on time due to this little problem. But I asked the HR dept at my work if there were any other americans here. Luckily for me there was ONE other american, and I got her to sign it for me! problem solved.

I sent in my vote for Mr Obama with two stamps, just to make sure it got back to WI on time.

The coverage in the US is unrelenting, I'm sure. I know how it works there. The ads on tv, the phone calls, the flyers in your mailbox, the non-stop 24 hour coverage on cable news channels. But here, that kind of campagning and news coverage is unheard of. That is purely thought as of "american sensationalism". And its true, it is a bit over the top, but that's how it works in the US. But in the last few months, the news coverage here has also stepped up. Every news report in the evening had a piece over what was going on with McCain and Obama. And last night, there were several watch-parties around the country, specifically the bigger cities: Amsterdam, den Haag, Rotterdam, Leiden, and Utrecht, with programs and speakers, and in one case "an american breakfast" (they think here that's donuts and coffee). Several Dutch channels (there's only 3 main public ones!) had coverage from NY and DC. The Germans were there too, and of course in Miami, FL (if you know Germans, they love Florida). The free daily newspapers in the train- all have "full" coverage (that means more than one page) of what is going on in the election. There is even a special edition newspaper this afternoon over the election that will be distributed nation-wide. It is very interesting for me to see their coverage on an election that they cannot vote in, yet directly impacts them. There is always a feeling of hope here, that America will pull through and vote for the man that will bring a better future to the US and to the world. And, of course, I want to keep up with everything going on in my own country.

So, it was an unprecidented election- two candidates that would both have made history (first black president or the oldest man to take office), highest voter turnout in generations, and the most expensive campagnes ever. But it was also unprecidented coverage here in Holland as well. Over 80% of the Netherlands would have voted for Obama if they could have voted. Everyone wanted him to win. It was a no-brainer. But I think they were still hesitant here on how America would really vote- could they get past his "liberal" ways or the color of his skin? But even here in the NL, I've heard from many people, that they do not believe Holland would be ready for a black prime minister. Just in the past month, a Morrocan born Dutch citizen was voted as mayor of Rotterdam. Many many people still have a problem with this. But, if he can lead and govern properly and enough people have faith in him to do his job right, then where is the problem? Its letting go of their "dutchness" and of what has always been.

We all know we are at a critical turning point: in international relations, with the environment, and the future of this planet. So, will America continue the same path as always, or vote for change, was the big question.

When I woke up this morning at 630am to check the news, I see that finally my fellow Americans came through, and voted for change! I'm SOO happy and excited and proud that Obama won and will lead our country in a new direction. Now I do not have to be ashamed any more to say I'm an American...Bush will no longer be the image synonymous with the US to others around the world. It will be an inspirational, intelligent, honest, young, black man. The image that everything and anything is still possible in the United States.

Iceland betrays us!

2008-10-10T04:02:00.000-07:00

Well, as the US economy crashes a la Depression Era style, one may wonder about the little countries of the world and how they are doing. Ok, maybe no one is really wondering that, but of course, if the US economy fails, it will bring everyone else down with them! Way to go, teamwork USA! Anyways, as you may or may not have heard, Fortis, the big leaders in mortgages in the Benelux, failed and the gov't will bail them out and buy up shares. Iceland's banks have failed, and the gov't took control of all three of their national banks. Seems its like dominoes now.

Up til now, this crisis doesn't directly affect me, except for the dollar-euro exchange rate! Or at least that's what I thought. A few months ago, M opened up a savings account with the Icelandic bank Icesave, which is (was) a purely online banking system. No statements, no hard copy proof....everything online. There was a 5.25% interest rate on the account, and it had good reviews (according to what M found). It was a branch of the Icelandic bank Landsbanki. Icesave only opened up their international banking to UK and Dutch investors only. Well, these banks failed, and Icesave went bottom up earlier this week. We could not even load the page on Wednesday when we realized we should try to withdraw our money. The UK customer's page had a message that all accounts were frozen and no one could withdraw their money. So, while we are still quite young to not have a large savings account, it is still significant enough to be upset about! So, we could be set to lose all our savings due to this worldwise financial crisis.

Now, I'm a nervous person to begin with. I am worried and anxious about quite a few things in life, more than the average person, I'd say. But for some reason, I'm not freaking out about this. I am not worried that we won't get it back. Iceland was supposed to guarantee the first 20,000 euros, and anything above that, the Dutch gov't pays back. Of course we don't have more than 20,000euros, so it shouldn't be a big deal....right?

Then there's the threat of the Iceland gov't being bankrupt. So who's going to give us our money back?

Well, last night, we, as one of 120,000 Dutch customers of Icesave, were assured that we would get our money back, by the Dutch finance minister. Here's a short english article summing up the current situation.

So, while I truely love Iceland (its the special place where M proposed and also a very very beautiful country), I can't help but be upset by their goverment...who stole our money!! A country of only 320,000 people... had billions and billions worth of euros invested in their country by 2 others.....as the PM of Iceland said yesterday: "I think this is a good lesson in the fact that a small country should not aim to be a world leader in international banking."

If that's not a "doh!" moment, I don't know what is.

true love, forever

2008-10-07T13:44:00.001-07:00

true love, forever
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

This past week has been one of the most difficult weeks, emotionally, in a long time. One week ago today, my first bunny love, Rosie (left), died. It came as a great and sudden shock, as she did not seem terminally ill. She died while at the the vet's office on Tuesday morning, probably of either a heart attack or of being unable to breathe, probably from stress. Only in the last month was she not breathing quite normal. Since the last week or so of August she was sneezing a lot. I took her to the vet the first week in Sept and she got some antibiotics for her sneezing. She stopped while on the meds, but soon after they were over, about 2 wks ago now, she started sneezing again, a hard sneeze, not a normal bunny sneeze. I also noticed that i could hear her breathing harder thru her nose, and her lungs were moving differently. I asked M to take her in to the vet last Tuesday morning, his last day of work at his old job. I left home in a rush that morning because I was running late. I didn't say goodbye to her, because I never ever thought she wouldn't come home alive. I will always regret that. I thought this would be just a normal check-up and she'd be home. I did feel that she wasn't healthy and probably wouldn't live for another year. I actually said that to my mom on the phone on sunday. But never would I think that 2 days later, she would die! I'm still in shock and disbelief, one week later.

Her x-ray showed that her lung capacity was much much smaller than normal due to a build up of fluid around her heart. The reason for this, we will never know. The vet tried to revive her with a shot of adrenaline to the heart and oxygen, but it didn't work. Rosie wanted to go over the rainbow bridge where the fields are greener and there are endless carrots and cranberries to eat, where she can binky as much as she wants, and breathe easily. She is survived by her hus-bun, Japie. He will miss her terribly, and we can tell a definite change in his character in this last week; he is lonely and misses Rosie.
I've never cried so much for an extended period of time, in my life. Every day all last week, I would cry for my dear Rosiie. This has been really very very difficult.

but, i know, that perhaps this was the best way for her to go, she knew to make it as easy as possible for us (me especially). she wasn't sick very long, she wasn't in pain for long, she didnt let us see her suffer, and she didnt make us make a decision to put her to sleep (that would be horrible). and i'm glad she didnt die when we were in the US, or this weekend when we will be gone. she would have died soon anyways, bc of her lung capacity/heart. so this was probably best. i just wish she didn't have to die! burying her was extremely hard to do, to put her in the cold dark wet ground. and it was all so rushed, i didn't have time to fully grieve, bc we had to bury her before it got dark out. when i got home from work (after crying all day at work), we had a goodbye ceremony here at home. we said our goodbyes and gave her her last noserubs. it was so strange how still and stiff she was, i just kept expecting her to wake up--she was still so soft and fluffy. japie said his goodbye too. that was very sad as well, to watch. We buried rosie with carrots and basil, with some wildflower seeds we gave away at our wedding in june, as well as with flowers and a note i wrote to her. we wrapped her up in her favorite blanket that she and japie used to cuddle up in so much.

its still hard for me to think of her laying there. our house is empty without her big personality around. she was mean to bram and lily. she was bossy yet sweet with japie, her love. she was obedient to us. when we said 'cage', she knew what to do (and expected a treat afterwards!). she also took out my nose piercing, back in 2004...in some weird mental-message my mom sent her (my mom wanted the nose peircing out, so rosie did it!). she always greeted me in the morning, excited for her breakfast. she would steal carrots from japie and hold them in her mouth above his head so he couldn't reach it. she was a really special bun with a distinct character. she was my first pet ever, and my first bunny-love; she showed me that i was capable of loving an animal so much, that she became a member of our family. it was with her, that my love-affair with rabbits started.

i hate to think of her buried in the cold, wet ground. we had to bury her in the rain, before it got dark out. we buried her in a forested area in the polder area, just about a mile from here. we visited her again on saturday and left her some flowers. she will be terribly missed. and we love her so much. rest in peace rosie. you were a wonderful bunny friend.

For her tribute page and some more pictures, please see my flickr page:
http://www.flickr.com/groups/bunnyloversunite/discuss/72157607595447128/

its happening

2008-09-28T03:02:00.000-07:00

well, a lot is happening actually-- therefore i'm too busy to update lately! i started a new job 2 weeks ago, and learning new things is exhausting. i want to try hard and make this work, and i don't want it to end up like the previous job. the first week was hard, to learn a new procedure of doing things, but also learning new names/faces, a new work environment, and a new routine. my new job is a fulfillment administrator in the logistic department of a international corporation that sells computer related things. so far, things are going well. in the last few days i felt more at ease at what i was doing. now i'm actually completing something and accomplishing stuff by the end of the day, unlike before. the end of the day is the most stressful for me, as i try hard to get it all completed and deliveries created before i have to leave. the job itself is not that interesting or special, and is not the 'meaningful' or international type job i was hoping to find...but the people there are really nice and the work environment is professional and positive, so therefore it is a much better situation than before. in the first 3 days alone, i felt more respected as a human being and as a worker than i ever did in the last job. it makes a huge difference in my work ethic and confidence. i feel included in the company already. that is the way it should be. why did i stay for 1 whole year at the previous place? how did i make it?

evenings are busy once again, and i'm hardly home before 1030 (or later) every night. dutch classes keep me busy and tired...now i have no time between work and the class to go home for dinner, so for now until december, i will have to bring microwave dinners to work with me and eat on the go. tuesday is basketball, also starting at 7pm, so it will be hard to make it there on time. thursday is a possible free evening, but probably doesn't happen that way! gotta have social friend time too! on fridays i get to have a relaxed dinner with M for the first time all week. that's the way it will go until december.

lately i've noticed that dutch words are slipping into my english thoughts and conversation. this is not nice and doesn't help me at all! i'm losing more and more english vocabulary (some words this week i had problems with: ballerina, cafeteria, confirmation...and many others!)...and sometimes dutch words slip in on the conversation. just small words like "of" (or/if), "als" (if/when), and numbers....but its happening....too bad the normal regular fluency doesn't happen. i am low on dutch vocab as well, and am still unable to make sentences with complicated verb tenses, etc.

the sun has been shining almost every day for the past 2 weeks, which is amazing. i dont think that happened at all during the whole summer! but it has really helped my mood and get through these tough first two weeks of a new job and new routine. its supposed to switch back to 'normal' (rain and cold) tomorrow....the sunshine really makes such a difference, and you only notice that after you live in a place where it doesnt shine on a regular basis. that is one important reason why the US is a better living situation than the Netherlands! so i will go and enjoy the rest of the day while i can!

Lily

2008-09-09T07:45:00.001-07:00

Lily
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

Our newest family member as of last night! She will be Brammie's girlfriend...once we bond them! Its an arranged bunny marriage. She's still pretty tiny, and is a show rabbit...but I think we'll just show her off through pictures! She was born in May so only a few months old. Brammie is lonely, and has so much bunny love to give, he definitely would love a friend.

moving on...

2008-09-08T03:41:00.000-07:00

A lot has happened in the last week. My last day was quite interesting, and all the oddities of the year resurfaced, kind of like a "best of" album, or a montage of the "highlights" of the last year. All I could do was laugh, and laugh I did. Out of happiness of getting out and knowing the rediculousness that will continue there without me. I went out on the Friday night to celebrate my freedom.
My first day off, I thought would be relaxing and boring. But instead I got a job offer from one place I interviewed at the week before. I also had another job interview on the phone with another company, and it was all in Dutch, for half an hour. That one didn't work out in the end, but that is ok with me. I decided later in the week to accept the job I was offered. It is an entry level job in the fulfillment area of the supply-chain department, so, logistics. It wasn't anything I was looking for for the past 8 months. But seeing as it was my first offer in 8 months, and it is a stable, mature international company (not Dutch!), and I could hopefully grow in this position, I decided to take it. I will have some income, some stability, and some new things to learn. This job came about through networking, so I guess that really does work. Otherwise, I'd still be unemployed, still searching, and starting to get desparate. I start on the 15th. I have one more week of 'free time', to recuperate and relax after that previous job. I wasn't as excited last week about the job, since it all happened so fast (within a week!), and after such a bad work experience, I am a bit scared and hesitant about how the next one will go. But now I am looking forward next week to starting something new, to being a part of something else. And even if it isn't in my field of study or what I was looking for, hopefully something positive will come out of it and I will learn something new.
In the mean time, I have enjoyed a trip to IKEA, a trip to the dentist (where I found I have 2 cavities), reading time, and some quality time with the buns.
This week I will for sure spend lots of quality time with them, as we are getting another bun. A girlfriend for Bram. He isn't bonded with the other two and is quite lonely. He is more bonded to me now, and while I enjoy that, I think he would appreciate a lady friend to snuggle with at night and hop around with during the day. This will not create more work for us, as we already change two cages, and I vaccuum up a bunch of "dust bunnies" already as it is. But I can definitely understand if people view me as "that crazy bunny lady". I think 4 will have to be our limit for sure. Anything more than that is probably getting out of control, unless we have a bigger house and become foster parents for a local shelter, which won't be happening. We would get one from a shelter, if they were a bit more lenient on their adoption policies. I would love to adopt so many that need a house, but the shelter here makes it so difficult to do so. they even come by for house checks. They can't measure that we will love them and take care of them. All they care about is how big the cage is per rabbit (and they require huge cages!). When the size of apartments here are small to begin with, how can I possibly have a 2 sq meter cage which will take up like 20% of our living room. Anyways, if I were in the US, it would be much easier to adopt a rescued bun. When we move to the US (whenever that may be!), I will do that for sure. But for now, we have "rescued" a girl from a breeder...rescued away from otherwise sketchy people using it for snake-snacks.

Learning to Let go

2008-08-27T01:13:00.000-07:00

As the summer is coming to an end and September rolls in, the usual feelings I get of starting a-new come back to me yet again. I am sure it is because for 19 years, September meant the start of a new school year. Saying goodbye to the old, and hello to the new. One (school) year older, one (school) year wiser...even though only 3 months of summer had just passed, I was transformed into my new identity of... a 1st grader, a high school freshman, or a college senior.
One major part of my life is coming to end now too. And while I am (very) happy to move on, I'm still very worried about what is out there - the unknown... or the fact that nothing is out there yet. Thankfully I have important people in my life that still support me and hold me up, like my husband, my family, and my friends. But it is still in my nature to get down and upset about things.

I quit my job, after exactly one year of working here. Friday is my last day. Its very obvious (both to me and my employer) that I am underemployed. I need something more to challenge myself, to grow...and to do something I'm interested in doing. It was also a difficult year here because of the work environment I was in. My contract was coming to an end at the end of Aug, and instead of renewing, I decided to let it expire and not renew. However, despite my continual searching for jobs for the past 8 months, nothing has happened yet. First of all, its hard to find things I'm qualified for...but then I have gotten responses I'm either overqualified or that I don't have enough experience. There doesn't seem to be a middle ground here. And the fact that I am not fluent in Dutch is obviously a major issue to breaking through to a more professional level job that I am searching for, that I would be happy in and that would help my career. I am very worried how my work choices here in the present will affect me later whenever I go back to the US. I've recently had a few interviews, but nothing has panned out yet.

So I have been struggling(mentally/emotionally) in recent weeks since coming back to the NL. After the 'high' of being home, of getting married, seeing family/friends again, of traveling out west...I came back to the reality of my job situation in mid-July. I have to learn to let go. I want to be in control of things, of my own destiny. I want to live a certain lifestyle that requires a double household income. I want to travel while I am living in Europe and have the vacation days to do so. But that requires money. I do want to move back to the US at some point, but not now. I realized this this past weekend. When the real fact of the matter hit me, that 'what if i don't get a job here and have to move back?' question, I really was upset about this. I do not want to move back yet. I want to move back under my own initiative. I do not want to be forced back due to the fact that I need to find a job. But I have to learn to let go, and whatever happens, happens. I will try my best to succeed, and if it doesn't work out that way, then that's all I can do. But on the other hand, I think I am succeeding in the fact that I am getting out of this place. That is a step in the right direction and towards a better future.

Also, I have been going through many work emails in my inbox this week, working on deleting things I haven't deleted yet over the last year. I've held on to some of them, because they were such strong examples of what was wrong here with this group and this organization. When I read over some of them yesterday, I got really upset again. The struggles of this past year are always on my mind here, 8.5 hours a day...plus probably several hours at home too. But I have to learn to it let go. It seems though, as the end is getting nearer, I'm still upset! I should be extatic about leaving, yet as I'm on my way out, all the problems of this past year are being revisited, as sort of a 'yearbook' of memories! But--Friday will be the end of it here. Monday I can start over again. I will wake up in the morning and NOT have to get on the 755am train to Amsterdam. I will not have to deal with these problems of the last year. After Friday it doesnt matter any more. I will be moving on...and those I've left behind will still be here...for awhile, I'm sure. I feel sorry for them.

I will have to work hard to unlearn the things I've experienced (or not experienced) here. But I can take these experiences and learn from them and how to avoid them in the future. I will really have to learn to let go of my bitterness and frustration... and move forward. The lack of respect that I received here: I will not take that anymore, and the next place will be better. After one week of freedom at home, I will feel better and refreshed and ready to move forward.

Lost 10lbs in 2 weeks! The Dutch integration diet!!

2008-08-22T06:40:00.000-07:00

Integration into mainstream Dutch society is good for your figure. That's basically the conclusion of research conducted by the Social and Cultural Planning Officethe Netherlands (SCP).

You can imagine my chagrin when I came across the results of a recent research completed by the SCP (Social and Cultural Planning Bureau) in the NL, when I learned yet another reason why it is important to integrate into Dutch society...I'll be obese if I don't! This recently published information from the SCP concerns the non-western immigrants to Holland (of course, because Holland is obsessed with this group of immigrants). They found that someone from this immigrant group in the NL is more likely to be overweight than the normal Dutch population. Those that are integrated, are less likely to be overweight. What a simple conclusion we arrive to! Instead of looking at the factors as to why this may be (different upbringing, different diet, different stress on health or body image)...its instantly related to the level of integration. This gives those hard-core right wing Dutchies the opportunity to slam immigrants again, that we are lazy, jobless and hopeless cases. But now that I am about to become jobless again...maybe I will better fit the data and support their findings. But I gotta say, I've integrated into society by being employed this past year...but the stress from actually working and trying to learn dutch 2 nights a week has driven me to eat more out of stress. I think this research made to find out just exactly what the gov't wanted to hear...to offer more propaganda as to why immigrants need to integrate.
What is also quite interesting is that M is going to start working for the SCP in a month, as a researcher. I hope he will only be bringing home "the bacon"...and not more propaganda.

A little gem

2008-08-20T00:19:00.000-07:00

You'd think by now I'm aware of how life works here in the Netherlands, what "business-as-usual" really is. But sometimes I'm still surprised by some interesting quirks that I did not yet know about or experience yet in Dutch culture. One such little gem caught me off guard when I went to the movies a few weeks back to see the new Batman movie. The Dark Knight is a pretty long movie, as far as most mainstream blockbuster movies go. It is a hefty 2.5 hours long. Apparently, in Holland, you don't always just pay a simple flat ticket fee per movie, but rather, by how long the movie is! When a movie is defined as 'extra long', you have to pay an extra 1 euro per ticket!! You can imagine my shock, even though I'm pretty good at rolling my eyes by now, after having had lived here for over 3 yrs (in total). But what "they" define as an extra long movie, I really don't know, but have I ever received a discount for an extra short movie? I don't think so! If you often think that American culture is the only consumerist/make-as-much-profit-as-you-can economy...think again. The Dutch just do it differently, and that's what I have to keep telling myself. But of course, that doesn't mean I will ever get used to it!

Jam session

2008-08-18T07:24:00.001-07:00

IMG_9467
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

What is more quintessential European than going to a market to buy fresh fruit on a Saturday morning? How about cooking in the kitchen with three French women! In my new role as house-wife, there's a "few" (read: a lot!) culinary skills that I am lacking at! A week ago Saturday, I spent the afternoon with these three ladies (one is a friend, and the other two I met that day for the first time) making jam!

We started out the day at noon, buying kilos of fruit! We bought strawberries, cherries, red currants, nectarines and pears. Probably over 12 kilos in total. We sat around the table cutting and pitting and talked about what comes natural to four foreigners brought together for an afternoon: about living in Holland as a foreigner all because of love. It was very relaxing, and enjoyable. While the first batch of jam was boiling, we had lunch of quiche and pepperoni (bell pepper) salad. Simply delicious!

After 5 hours, we finally had our final product--jars and jars of jam. One batch was red berries, and the other was the nectarine-pear combo. I have yet to try it, but it is sitting in my fridge getting a bit more jelly-like in consistency. But however it turns out, it was definitely a day well spent! If you don't hear from me anymore, then you know it was the jam!

summer holiday

2008-08-11T01:41:00.001-07:00

DSC00162
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

well, we've been back a month now! at least there have been some days of sunshine and "heat" to make it feel like summer. at least we had to use the fan a few days at night to keep cool. and its been nice to not have things to do in the evenings after work..no class, no basketball. but I've still keeping myself relatively busy, but with a few other more enjoyable things. I've had some stress too, job-related, but that is nothing new. two weeks ago, after work on a Thursday, i went to the beach in The Hague for dinner on the beach with M and his best-man, K. It was nice to sit and eat our dinner and drink wine on the beach. wish i could do that every day.

But truly is summer vacation here...maybe not for me, but for the rest of Holland! Its really drastically noticeable: the trains are emptier in the rush-hour times, and there is a lot less traffic on the streets, and the grocery stores aren't as packed and insane. Mid-July thru mid-August is summer vacation for Holland. The last two weekends in July are said to be some of the busiest days of the whole year at Schiphol airport. The last weekend in July, it was estimated that almost 1 million (of the 16 million) inhabitants of Holland were out of the country! Dutchies like to travel. Dutchies also like to camp. The biggest destinations for dutchies are Germany and France, and I'm sure a large majority of those people/families are camping. (sounds familiar...like my honeymoon...). I've enjoyed having a seat to sit in on the train every morning...but on the way home in the evening, there are a lot more tourists, including Dutchies, who come to Amsterdam for the day, and clog up the train on the way home with crazy loud kids and lots of shopping bags. Seeing all the young 20-something backpackers in Amsterdam Central Station really makes me want to take off and travel as well. Maybe next year...

Now, with the olympics started, my evenings will be spent catching up on the daily activities in Beijing. Whenever there is some inter-country sport on and the Netherlands is playing, I will support them, and vice versa with the USA--M will support the US (usually). But what do you do when these two countries play each other? Well, words get thrown out there that can't be repeated on this blog...and its everyone for themselves. Luckily this does not happen too often, but especially now, during the Olympics, our true patriotism (for sports) shows. The first major match up came in the form of soccer yesterday afternoon, where it was NL vs USA. the US played better, and was set to win it 2-1, but at literally the last 30 seconds of the extra time of the 2nd half, Holland scored on a free kick...so it was a tie, 2-2. I suppose that is the safest outcome for us as a couple: a draw...no bragging rights for either of us!

Swimming is the other major sport where Holland shines, so the 100m mens freestyle is the big race to watch here, where national swimming hero Peter van den Hoogenband will match up vs American swimming hero Michael Phelps. Should be a good one. and in under one minute, it'll all be done. I'm looking forward to it!

married!!!

2008-07-18T05:09:00.001-07:00

22
Originally uploaded by snapshotradio.

Its been almost a month already that i'm a married woman! while i dont have photos up yet on my own flickr page...my friend jonanne took some wonderful photos..mostly of the party afterwards. I don't have a good pic up yet of me and matt, but here is one just to show there's more to follow---soon!
it was a wonderful day and i had so much fun, and i know everyone else did too. it was really special that so many people came from such distances to be there and help us celebrate our wedding day! it was amazing and very overwhelming, this feeling of love and friendship! but the day went by so quickly...I just have to keep going back to these great pictures to see that yes, in fact, it really did happen- it wasn't just a dream!!
i had a great time in the US- a whole month! the 2 wks after the wedding were spent out west in washington state and in british columbia, canada. not a real traditional honeymoon---as we were with 4 of M's friends for the first week, but then just the 2 of us the 2nd week. Mostly we were camping, which is also not your typical honeymoon activity. but it was a fun time and i really enjoyed it. we saw temperate rainforests in olympic NP and climbed mt. rainier in the snow! M and I also went horseback riding and seakayaking. we saw lots of cool animals, including a black bear and elk...and many squirrels that talked to us.
now, back to reality - work. we arrived back this past sunday. things are still the same around here, but its july, so i dont have language class or basketball...so i can relax and enjoy life a bit, i hope! only for month...because amazingly, july is suddenly half over already!

more pictures to come soon!

Great start

2008-06-10T01:28:00.000-07:00

As my last post from the Netherlands for an entire month...its only fitting to end on a happy note, right? I'm happy to go on vacation, happy to leave work, happy to go home and see my family and friends again, some friends I haven't seen in a very long time...over three years ago. And of course, happy to get married! The only thing I'm not so happy about--that I have to leave my little bunnies behind for a whole month. I will miss them so much, and I hope they will be ok with their bunny-sitters.

Last night was the first game for Holland in the EK. They played against Italy. Holland hasn't beat Italy in over 30 years, and Italy is the reigning world champion. No one expected it, but we basically blew them out of the water---winning 3-0. It was a fun game to watch. M and I watched the game at home, and every time they scored a goal, you could hear the entire neighborhood cheering and screaming and shouting!!! It was so cool! Bull horns blasting, car horns honking..it was like everyone in the city was glued to their tv watching the game. Not only that, but over 40,000 Dutchies made the trip to Bern, Switzerland to just be there for the game, not in the stadium, but in the city cheering them on (reminds me a tiny bit of OU/Texas games in Dallas every year....but this is such a bigger scale than that!). The whole city is orange. Bern is orange. The fans in the stadium were orange.

Here are some pictures of what its like here. The first is in Bern. The other two are here in Amsterdam- right outside my office. They decorated the 'Nightwatch' statues on Rembrandtplein with orange shirts. Had to take a picture of that one!

Hopefully we can catch some more games in WI...we'll have to go to a bar to watch them at 1.45 pm in the afternoon, since we don't have cable at my parents' house. But what a fun time to be in Holland, for the Euro Championships. It is truly an amazing experience and feeling to be here during a game...and see how orange crazy Holland gets! This is the best time to be here...guess I scheduled my wedding at the wrong time of year! jk

So, tomorrow its back to the USA for one month. When I return I will be a married woman!

bumper sticker a la holland

2008-06-07T07:58:00.003-07:00

bike bumper sticker
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

if you don't have car bumpers to display your opinions, then you have to adapt to what you've got: bikes!

this biker is pretty dutch as they get. strong opinion, don't mess with them.

"i want my bike and nothing else."

ok, don't worry, I'll leave you and your bike alone!

Holland is gek, and so am I!

2008-06-05T08:14:00.000-07:00

I know I may be going crazy lately, with my wedding coming up and all the long distance planning I have to take care of. But the Dutch have been going crazy lately too- and it will also only get worse! I don't mean losing-your-head type of crazy like me, but I mean more fanatic-crazy. This is for two reasons that you could only find in Holland: fish and football. By the way, the Dutch word for crazy is "gek"...with a very guttural g sound.

Just this past weekend, 'hollandse nieuwe', or the first new herring of the season, arrived on shore, and the winning barrel went for thousands of euros. It was auctioned off on Tuesday. The fish stand down the street from my office has flags up and signs and everything. On Tuesday he even had shots of alcohol to his customers to celebrate. He is known to us as, "the fish man". It may be just a bunch of fish, but it is a BIG deal here. They must be extra tasty or something...I refuse to let those fish get near my mouth. Nee, dank je!

The other craziness is not only in Holland, but all over Europe. The European Championships are starting on Saturday. Every 4 years , Oranje (orange) Fever begins. Whole neighborhoods come together to deck out their apartment buildings and streets in orange flags. Stores are selling more Dutch team related shirts and items...its a great marketing ordeal...and it sells, big time. The first game is on Monday night vs. Italy...its gunna be huge! I'm excited for it, it was great fun to watch 4 years ago here in Utrecht...and even the World Cup was fun to watch while i was in Washington DC. Too bad I will be in the USA for most of the EK (abbreviation for the Dutchies). I bet I won't be able to catch a single game, not just because I will be so busy with other things, but also because Americans aren't very soccer savvy and it won't be shown on tv. Big hopes for the team this year, as Marco van Basten, the coach of this year's team, could become the first every person to have the EK trophy as a player (1988) and as a coach...but can Oranje go far this time around? We shall all see how it plays out in the Euro 2008 in Switzerland and Austria.

Oh yeah, and if you were planning a camping trip to Switzerland around this time, you can expect to be flooded by a bunch of crazy Dutchies...many camp sites have basically been taken over there by orange-clad dutchies, renaming them Oranje-dorp (orange village). It is a very Dutch thing to go camping (in tents but also campers/RVs). I wouldn't attribute this only to Dutch loving the outdoors, I think it is more of a thing about being cheaper than staying in a hotel. That is a very large part of the Dutch persona - "thriftiness".

Isn't it obvious?

2008-05-30T04:25:00.000-07:00

About two weeks ago, it was finally 'discovered' or at least revealed, that the Dutch-required integration exam that residents of most others countries must take before moving to the Netherlands for family reunification, is "discriminatory". These exams have been in place since 2006, and non-western immigrants must take them in their home country in order to be allowed to move here. It obviously was very discriminatory from the very beginning: how can you allow westerners in without a culture and language test...but non-westerners aren't? Sure, Holland may have issues with Turkish and specifically Moroccan immigrants...but is this really the way to go about solving the problem?

Of course the applications have dropped in the last year, as they'd hoped. It costs 350 euros to take the test, plus your own time and money to learn some basic level of Dutch (where are you going to learn that in the mountains in Morocco?) and Dutch culture. This is in addition to the 820 euros you have to pay for the first year alone to get a residence permit in Holland. Where would people from these not-as-well-off countries get that kind of money? And the resources for learning Dutch? I don't think so...It is obvious they are trying to keep these specific groups out of the country.

I know that there are problems with certain groups of immigrants from certain individual countries, and there are some Dutch politicians and citizens that have major problems with this and letting go of a real "dutch" culture...whatever that is. I think the true character traits are coming to the surface now: xenophobia, intolerance, impatience, and stubbornness. The famously held idea of Dutch being "tolerant" does not apply any more in this sense.

I don't see the Netherlands changing their integration tests based on this report by this Human Watch Organization. they're too afraid...and too stuck in their ways. It takes a long time for the fear to go away.

I know Euorpe is more liberal...but come on!

2008-05-23T04:39:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder what the hell am I doing here?

Ok, not sometimes. All the time.

For those that don't know, I'm stuck in a job situation that is, you could say, less than ideal. This is my first paid job in the Netherlands, and I've been working here about nine months now, since the beginning of September. I thought this job would be good because it is in a young company, with young people, and the company was growing bigger constantly (in employees and in profits). Well, I've found out the negative side of this: growing too fast does not give you time to build proper office procedures and infrastructure needed in correctly managing people or projects. Hiring people quickly does not give you time to fully screen a person's personality to see if they a) have some sort of intelligence to be able to make their own decisions b) are counterintuitive and unable to properly function in an adult work environment c) are respectful of other people and d) are children.

These things, added together with mindless production work of copy/paste all day long...can really wear you down and damage your soul. Of course many many people in this world do not enjoy their jobs and go through life like a zombie, day in and day out. I am at that point, for several months already. But when you feel like you will go postal-that is when you know you have to get out. Everything here is counterintuitive. There is no communication or decent management of people (or projects)...and certain people won't even greet each other in the morning and never say a word to each other at all- just ignoring them. But why do I want to come to work to be treated like a I'm in kindergarten and have such strict rules as not even being able to eat what i want at my own desk because it smells, according to some people who never had a problem with it until now.

Well, besides the personnel here, what about the work culture? Is that the same here as in the US? Well, I know Europe is considered much more liberal than the US in general culture, but i can see now a blending of the two, where one world overlaps the other. I work in Amsterdam, known world-wide for their Red light district, legal prostitution, and open views on sex. I didn't think this would ever enter my work world, but it has. And I'm finding the exact opposite idea of professionalism is supposed to be. I guess even in an international company, the roots are still Dutch.

One of the girls I work with is out on vacation for a month. She was helping moderate a contribution based community for extra 'fun things' to put on your product (that this company sells). part of the content you can upload (and then others can download at home) are pictures for this product...for the start up screen and the shut-down screen. In the few rules that have been developed since this launched a few months ago, was that any offensive photos or photos with advertising would be taken down from the community...but, in true laissez faire fashion, they're letting the community do its own thing. If there is full nudity, I take it off of the community. But if no actual parts are showing, like a woman wearing a small small bikini, it stays online. There are no rules yet on how many times something should be flagged before it comes off line (youtube and google have mechanisms in order of course for their user-shared community, obviously they cannot moderate thousands of contributions a day). But for now, we don't have that system in order, so I am moderating it for a reason.

Anyways, the situation today lead me to get rather riled up about this this. I removed two pornographic photos today alone. Another one was left up only because it didn't show the actual body part...it was a woman's behind bent over in a suggestive position, but she had underwear covering the specific area to be covered. It wasn't like a hippie running thru the field naked- this was a suggestive photo. Anyways, this got me riled up because why should I be looking at these photos to begin with, at work?? at 9 o'clock in the morning? And the fact that I am going into discussion about what is hard core and border line porn with my supervisor. He wants to test the waters and keep it up. I think nudity is nudity and all forms of it should be taken off. But I am only one person, and a female, and an underling who they care nothing about and don't even recognize that I am an educated person...apparently I'm not representative of their customer base. But I can guarantee that their US customers will not like it. They may be Dutch, and European, but they have customers world-wide who don't want to wake up in the morning and think they're downloading one thing, but get porn instead. There isn't even a warning screen before saying "some things may be offensive" or not even the word "community-based". But with the company's name attached to it, they are the ones who will be seen as distributing porn. And of course, you don't have to download stuff your product if you don't like it, but having the option to and seeing the thumbnail version of it--you're still submitted to seeing it.

Why am I so adamant about arguing about this with a company I don't care much for anymore? I'm more upset that I have to look at and moderate this kind of material. What I look at on the internet or joke about with friends is something I'd rather do on my own personal time. But I do not want to do it for my job or joke about it with my supervisor. I think this is extremely absurd to be in a 'professional' environment. I could say, I don't want to look at these images anymore, but then they'd give the one extra job of 20 minutes a day to someone else...they won't change how this works because of me. I don't want to give this extra responsibility up. And I gladly wanted to help out in the absence of a co-worker, but I didn't want to look porn at work!

several issues at hand here - not only professionalism, but also the whole completely different discussion of community based content and how you monitor and protect both the freedom of speech and the protection of people who don't want to see this 'offensive content'. but there are other outlets for this, and it shouldn't be on such a widely known and used product that this company sells. there are pay for service websites for that. and if you really want that kind of content on this product, then you probably need some help. i'm sure this will come back to bite them in the butt. it sure wouldn't be good marketing if people knew *** was supporting pornography.

a quote from the movie Austin Powers about the dutch comes to mind: "I don't speak freaky-deaky dutch, you perv-boy!" Hmm, what an interesting image of the Dutch--

And interestingly enough, I stumbled upon an article related to community based content on youtube...whether or not they should change their content rules to prohibit any video supporting al-qaida....no less than 30 minutes after I had this 'discussion' (monologue really since i'm always interrupted and my supervisor never listens anyways) with my supervisor.

IRS comes a-knockin' on my door

2008-05-21T05:36:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I got a letter in the mail with the return address of the IRS (Internal Revenue Service). I was like, oh great, what do they want? I paid my taxes, and thankfully, getting a big refund since I didn't make that much money last year, both in the US and here in Holland. But once opened, I found I was one of the (many) lucky middle class (who make under $75,000/yr) recipients of the The Economic Stimulus Act of 2008. I have heard about this in the news in the past few weeks, with media outlets asking "normal Americans" how they will spend their extra tax refund of $300 (or $600). Bush wants the nation's citizens to just go back out and spend it, to stimulate the economy or to avert the economy from a recession. You think that $300 will do the trick? After all the debt most people are in, and with this housing-mortgage "crisis"...$300 won't do the trick. It won't even put a dent in my student loans- That's like a one month payment. It took me 2 full years of living in DC to pay off all my credit debt - and I was only able to pay it off at the very end when I sold everything I owned and left! And plus, $300 is only like 200 euros. Well, maybe I'll get my hair cut with that money. Ah, I'm being sarcastic, that is a bit elitist. I didn't even think that I was going to receive this money, it never occurred to me. Really, that money won't do much, but I'll be happy to take it. But I think over-abundant and unnecessary spending got us into this crisis/recession to begin with. Maybe we should stop spending and save a bit to avoid further problems down the line!

Now, I'll go stimulate the European economy with my American dollars. I better watch out for the laughing and snickering.

going to the vet, dutch style

2008-05-20T04:18:00.001-07:00

may2008 047
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

A week ago, I noticed a lump on Rosie's back (Rosie is the one on the right), that hadn't been there the day before. I was very worried, since I know that rabbits can get abscesses extremely quickly, and die from them very quickly. But she was still acting normal, as normal as she can be. Thursday, after I got home, it was red and sort of crusty like a scab. So, we decided to take her to the vet. Luckily, our vet has an open appointment hour on Thursday nights, from 630-730 (literally an hour). Thursday nights are the only nights in the Netherlands where shops are open past 6pm (only til 9pm). Its called 'koopavond', or shopping night, and sometimes other offices are open a bit later as well. Luckily for us, it was Thursday, and it was 6pm, so we had time to get there before they opened. Things are usually made to be pretty difficult and very inconvenient on purpose here.

So, you know, to get the vet, you have two options, as a non-car owner/non license holder....the bus, or the bike. Since the bus is usually full of stupid annoying people, and it costs money and time (you have to change once at the station)...we went by bike. Luckily it was not raining (anymore). So we got little Rosie into her carrier, put that in a big IKEA bag, and M carried her with one hand on his bike carrier. I should have taken a picture to illustrate this!

We got to the vet, and she was pretty scared, after having just endured a 25 minute bouncy bike ride over brick roads and busy streets. The vet found that it wasn't an abscess, thankfully, but he wasn't sure what it was! He thought maybe a reaction to a vaccination she had 2 weeks earlier, or maybe a bite (from Japie). So, no meds given out (also Dutch fashion) for now, and if it stays this way or gets worse after a week's time, we should go back again. Its been almost a week and it looks the same still, but luckily did not get bigger.

When he was done looking at her, she jumped up on M's shoulders to get away! That's a pretty big jump for a bunny on an examination table! When she was put back in her cage, she started thumping--she was really mad at us!

But little did she know, she had to endure another ride back home. But since we were already out, we had another errand to run with her in tow. We had to go pick up our wedding rings at the jewelers in the city center. So we were in a nice jewelry store will a little scared bunny. Of course we look like homeless people carrying around a big IKEA bag in a nice jewelry store, but once they realized it was a rabbit...they were nicer to us. And interested in seeing her.

So little Rosie had the honor of being with us when we picked up our rings. She is the honorary bunny ring-barer.

And I hope we won't have to make too many more trips to the vet in the near future. Especially on the back of a bike.

life on the streets

2008-05-12T07:01:00.000-07:00

Ok, some poor quality photos due to the windows being extremely dirty and the glare...but here are some photos from the window next to me, looking down on the street below. I see some interesting things. I'm surprised I have not yet witnessed a person get hit by a tram yet. there is a almost naked rollerblader, but he is too fast, I can't catch him on my camera. He only wears a speedo or a thong while roller blading down the street. And of course, I only see his backside-- I don't even know what he looks like; maybe I don't even want to know!
The Heineken horse and buggy, drives by twice a day. I don't know where they are going, but the horses are so beautiful.
The urinal truck, bringing you your Friday afternoon porta-urinal.
And immediately being used after it was off the truck. Its like this guy was following the truck just to leave him mark!
Rastafarian street cleaner worker.

Happy Europe Day!

2008-05-09T07:14:00.001-07:00

May 9th is Europe Day, marking the anniversary of the beginning of what is now the European Union. Back in 1950, talks began between France and Germany to create a common market in the coal and steel industries, but also to create an organization to improve cooperation between the two nations in order to prevent further war. In 1951, the European Coal and Steel Community was formed and made up of 6 nations: Germany, France, Italy, and the 3 nations of the Benelux. This intention to create an economic community is known as the Schuman Declaration and was revealed on May 9th, 1950. Thus, Europe Day is celebrated today. The ECSC led to the European Economic Community and later the European Community, and now the 27 member European Union.

Europe Day is not really celebrated here in the Netherlands, it is more celebrated in Germany and France. But this is the first year that the European Union flag must be flown on the gov't buildings along with the Dutch flag. The day was created in order to bring the EU closer to its citizens and the citizens closer to the Union and one another.

I wish the Netherlands was more supportive of the EU like some other member states, so we could maybe get the day off. That way, I could travel to Spain and become closer with my EU "family". Yeah, in my dreams.

mega basketball overload

2008-05-07T07:06:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I took part in a basketball tournament in Utrecht, the MIT (mega-international tournament), organized by the student basketball clubs at the university of Utrecht. There were 49 teams (apparently) from all over Europe - even as far away as Germany, England, and Prague. The theme was a 60's/hippie theme: peace, love, and basketball. It started Thursday afternoon and went til Sunday morning. Now, for those from afar brought sleeping bags and mattresses and slept in one of the gyms at night. But since this is Europe, who really sleeps anyways? Its all about the partying!! I was on a team with 7 other women, a mixed team from the two women's teams from my club. We had one game on Thursday, they played 4 on Friday (I couldn't because I had to work), we played 5 on Saturday, and one on Sunday morning. Its not your normal tourney 'bracket'...its just divided in pools and they found a winner based on wins and the point balance. Saturday the weather was fantastic, and between our games, we sat outside in the sun. I have a nice tan line from my socks/ankle braces....niiiice. I was really exhausted after 2-3 games...even though they are only 25 minutes each (not like real games). Each night there is a big party....but I only stuck around for the party on Saturday night. After 5 games, starting at 930am and the last one at 730pm...I was out til 2am at the bar at the sport club. I kinda was 'heavily encouraged' by M to stay, since I am very hesitant to stay out at bars in group situations like this--the loud music and people I don't know well enough and a language I can't really speak more than a normal conversation. But it turned out to be alright and actually a bit fun. Beer helps you loosen up and dance a bit more, but it also helps with speaking a different language... sunday we had a game at 1130am...and I was sweating all that beer off. We ended up 3rd of 6 teams in our pool. not too shabby. It was fun, and I'll do it again next year if we're in Utrecht then.

Dutch holidays

2008-05-06T06:40:00.000-07:00

This past week the stars aligned perfectly, and ascension day happened to land the day after Queen's Day; thus last week Wednesday and Thursday everyone had off of work. For those lucky ones (me not included of course), they also had Friday off and yesterday as well, for Liberation Day. You know what this means in Holland? A wonderful excuse to drink, party, and go bargain hunting. There are crazy crowds of thousands at the flea markets on Queen's Day, the beer-induced drunk-dancing to lame dutch"umpah" music on Queen's Night, the mounds and mounds of trash left behind in the streets because no one seems to understand the concept of a trash can, and free open air all-day music concerts at several cities around the Netherlands on Liberation Day (where more trash can accumulate). I read that there was 300 tons of trash to pick up in AMSTERDAM ALONE after only queen's day!!! 100 more tons than last year. That's a lot of garbage. Good thing we're not living in Naples. Liberation Day is supposed to be a day to remember being liberated from the Nazi's in WWII...but apparently many Dutch Gen X-ers and Y-ers (and probably all generations) seem to find it a day to be liberated from their own responsibilities: whether that is putting trash in a garbage can (or even near one!), remembering to pee in a urinal, or even going to work. Ok, I'm just a bit passive aggressive...

I unfortunately have responsibilities, like contributing to the economy and putting food on the table. Apparently only 10 other people do as well....as I was on the train with these 10 people who had to work on Monday. Monday night, I did go to the outdoor concert for about 2 hours. Its at this time where you can see all the delightfully sun-burnt hippies and the ground littered with plastic cups and beer bottles and other trash. The interesting thing about Liberation Day is that there always seems to be a platform for debate...the Dutch love any opportunity to debate and have their opinion heard. Do children of today appreciate their freedom? Should we continue to celebrate something that has happened "long ago in the past"?, and the ever philosophical 'will there ever be a world without war?'. All good, thought provoking questions.

Well, I'd answer those questions, but I have to go drink some beer with my friends.

The stars also aligned to bring American morning tv host on the NBC's Today Show, Matt Lauer, here to Amsterdam on Queen's Day eve....he was here for a segment "Where in the World is Matt Lauer?" I didn't get a chance to see him, as he was here and jetted off to Laos before I even got done with my work day. He was wearing orange pants, so he joined the ranks of northern european fashion for a day. But I am sure it was only to mark Queen's Day.

This coming Monday is the 2nd day of Pentecost. This is the last public holiday until Christmas time. This will put an end to the May holidays...and all the kiddies will have to go back to school (and foreigners back to their language classes!) and workers back to the job. But now that the weather this week is being dominated by a wonderful high pressure system, bringing us temps in the upper 60s/low 70s...it will be pretty tough to go back to work. Maybe sitting out on a terrace will have to do.

spring - new life and new beginnings

2008-04-28T05:45:00.000-07:00

I haven't written in awhile...I sort of lost my inspiration to write- I didn't have much to write about in the last month. But with the arrival of spring and warmer temperatures this week, I have more to write about. I hope spring can bring some new beginnings and breathe some life into my current state of being.

With the arrival spring, also comes the arrival of new baby lambs and baby ducks. One of the few times of the day when I can sort of relax is the 20 minute train ride from Utrecht to Amsterdam. It is so nice to see the little baby lambs running around in the green fields, and the little baby ducks struggling to keep up with momma duck, and the scattering of white dots in the green fields: swans! It is nesting time, and there are several nests in the ditches along the tracks- every day I try to get a quick look as we pass by, if there are any new little ducklings. But I have yet to see any baby swans, just momma sitting on her nest. There are two duck families near my apartment that I have been keeping my eye on. It is sad when I see only one left, when I knew at one time the family had 8 little babies. But it is still so cute to see the little fuzzies!

My work situation is still mostly the same. However, in the last month or two, I've become more talkative and better friends with 3 or 4 people that I work with. This has helped me out a lot, not only at work (to vent with people who feel the same way as me, have lunch with some people) but also outside of work. We have been out for drinks several times after work. This is good for my social life, as I did not really have one before! ;-) I'm meeting new people, and we can commiserate together while drinking our pain away. They are also fellow international people, no native dutch. Besides basketball, I have not really tried to make Dutch friends. The situation I am in just does not allow me to meet other Dutchies. All my Dutch connections are through M.

A week ago, M and I went on an extended 3-day weekend trip to Prague. I had never been there before and it is really a beautiful city. It is so much more 3-dimensional than the Netherlands. There are many more colors and hilly terrain. The Prague castle is the largest castle in the world (apparently), and there is a quite famous bridge crossing the Vltava River, the Charles Bridge. This would be tourist central. Its a circus full of people during the day, taking pictures and others selling stuff. The weather was nice on Friday and Sunday, but it rained most of Saturday...but of course we continued to wander around. Unfortunately I got sick on Friday after lunch: food poisoning. For lunch I ate a typical Czech meal: pork roast, dumplings, and sauerkraut. A few hours later I was searching for a bathroom. All day Saturday I was intense pain, all my stomach/digestive organs were pretty painful. Only sitting down would help, laying down at the hotel was best. But we stayed outside of the city center in a hotel accessible by metro & bus, so it wasn't like we could just go back for a few hours in the afternoon and lay down, and then go out later. But Sunday was a bit better luckily. This trip was for our 6 year anniversary (which was this past Feb). Good thing there are budget airlines in Europe. It was only a 1 hr 20min flight there.

Yesterday we rode our bikes again through the flower fields north of Leiden. From there we went to the sea and laid on the beach for an hour, and then rode to Zandvoort aan Zee and then Haarlem. It was quite nice, and I got a bit red from the sun. The tulips were out and were beautiful!

As far as the every day stuff-- my classes are still going on twice a week, but for the next 2 weeks there is a school vacation. Basketball is over until fall, so that should free up my weekends and also not make me so crazy on Wednesdays. Wednesdays are usually my break-down day, where things just get to be too much for me and I get overwhelmed. I hope that can be less now that it is spring/summer. And in a month and a half, I'll be back in the States on 'vacation'- for my wedding and for some traveling. I'm greatly looking forward to that.

Antwerp train station

2008-04-10T13:33:00.001-07:00

Christy and Matthieu in the Antwerp train station
Originally uploaded by HelloMouse.

A photo of us in the train station in Antwerp, Belgium.
M has since shaved, he was getting a bit hairy!

Given a new perspective...

2008-03-27T03:48:00.001-07:00

March08 025
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

This past week has given me some new perspectives on my life here in Holland. First, the most apparent, is the snow! Tuesday morning I woke up and found a dusting of snow on the ground! It was so pretty! This is the first snowfall "accumulation" all winter. It is very rare to have snow here anyways, but especially so late in the season, in March! The daffodils and hyacinths have been out for over a month now, and the tree blossoms are coming out. But for some reason, it made me really happy, just to have this blanket cover the usual scenery I see every day and offer a new (and beautiful) view on the same-old mundane views I have gotten so used to seeing. Plus I got to ride my bike thru the snow!

Also, last week I had a friend from my hometown visit, a friend from high school, so we've known each other for at least 13 years or so. She was my first visitor! It was her first time out of the USA, so it was all very foreign to her; not just this country, but also the aspect of travel: the obvious language and money aspect, but also the buildings and scenery, public transport, the local cultural attitudes and norms. And one week is a short time to have to be confronted with all sorts of new things at once! I think the 'riding the bike thing' went ok, but I tried not to force her to ride in the rain and wind as I normally would...so we took the bus more often, which means more waiting time and more annoying people crammed in a small area. Since she is not used to public transport...and with added 'stress' of the unknown language and destination...I had to help her out a lot, since I didn't want her to get lost!! But we had a fun time - I hope she did too (she got to see three countries in one week! not bad!!)

But a visitor by someone from the 'outside' really has made me realize how much on the 'inside' I really am here. I know my way, I can navigate from point A to B, I know how to deal with idiots on the train who don't wait to get in the train before I get out, I am not polite (as she is) when dealing with people here, since I know they will not be apologetic back at me. That takes a lot of time to come to terms with, both mentally and in practice. But my own feelings of being an outsider and of my own foreignness to this place, were subsided when it dawned on me that I really do know what is going on here. I am 'inburgerd', integrated. I saw things from a different perspective that allowed me to re-evaluate my position as an "alien" here.

I was just thinking that if I went to South Korea where my sister lives, I would be almost just as confused by the confrontation with a culture and language (and massive public transport system!) as my friend was here (although they do speak English much more here in Europe than they do in South Korea!) The differences, though, are more in individual character and experience, and how you approach a new given situation: such as the subway in Seoul or the trains in Italy. Only from my past experiences have I learned how to navigate my way thru international terminals and random foreign train stations. Also, my background in geography helps too I think, with spatial awareness and direction. But its also either stressing out at the first sight of the unknown or just going with the flow and knowing somewhere along the way, you'll get to where you want to go. I know I'm not the most easy going person there is; I have been known to stress out and have anxiety problems (*ahem*), but part of the fun is getting there. Maybe my second year here (and beyond) will continually remind me and teach me this life lesson.

must be friday in amsterdam...

2008-03-14T09:18:00.001-07:00

must be friday in amsterdam...
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

yet another friday has rolled around...and yet another porta-urinal showed up out on the corner. every friday afternoon, between lunch and 5pm, they place a porta-urinal on the street corner in front of my office.

apparently they are anticipating that men will no longer be capable of holding their bladder urges nor responsible enough to make it the bathroom of the bar in which they are patronizing. instead, on the weekends, mass numbers of men make their way to the local street corner and relieve themselves in front of all, declaring their manhood, and perhaps, semi-marking their territory.

hey, i have rabbits, i know how it works!

anyways, its the appearance of my favorite grey plastic monument that i can tell its the weekend. who needs a calender when you have urinals? well, i can also tell its the weekend by the influx of young 20-something year old boys, who look stoked that they are in Amsterdam for the weekend; generally its the southern European guys, here for a quick weekend stone-fest, errr, i mean, visit.

We're down to double digits!

2008-03-14T03:24:00.000-07:00

The time is nearing...we have reached the 'under 100 days' mark on the countdown to the wedding! Yikes!

Its 3am and the phone is ringing...

2008-03-10T07:44:00.000-07:00

Talk about culture shock...

I was in for a shock last Friday. I got a phone call that said 'unknown' in the caller ID...usually I would not answer such a call if I didn't know who was calling, but since it could be a possible job-related call, I answered it. Unfortunately it was not a job-related call...but it concerned my health insurance company. This woman was calling me, to ask my permission if she could send me an email, where I would answer some questions and she could see if I could get cheaper health insurance! Now there's a first!! In the US, they may be polite in society in general, but when concerning money and big business, no one would ever ask for my permission *gasp* to send me an email! They'd spam me without asking or just continue to call me and bother me. Heck, I still get spam from GEICO and who knows what else... I thought that it was quite amazing to get such a call, especially here in Holland. Politeness? whaaaat?

So I asked, once again, just to make sure, "you're only calling to ask if you can send me an email? yeah sure, send me an email."

I still haven't gotten the email though, and I'm totally ok with that!

tram ongeluk

2008-02-29T06:03:00.001-08:00

tram ongeluk
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

This is why I would never want to drive a car in Amsterdam. I was walking to the metro after work and as I was crossing this street parallel to the tram line..I saw this truck coming towards me, but I kept walking because I noticed it had its turn signal on for the other way. Two seconds later, I hear a big crunching sound...apparently the tow truck didn't see the tram, or the tram driver just felt she had the right of way despite the truck being in her path. That is quite popular here by dutchies---they make it so obvious that they're trying to prove a point or to point out that they are in the right and you are wrong, and they'll go out of their way to do it. Doesn't matter for some people, I guess, if that includes going so far as to cause damage to property! Or life even... This same day, when I got back to Utrecht and was walking towards my bike, I had to cross a bus lane with a walk signal. It turned green for us pedestrians, but a bus kept driving and coming at us. Everyone hesitated, but then just stayed put because they weren't sure if he would drive through or not. But one girl walked across the street in front of the oncoming bus, pointing at the green walk signal, just to prove her point. And the bus kept driving. So what if the bus hit her--it was green and she was gunna walk, gosh darnit! I may lose a leg, but i'm right! hmm..... yeah, I think a bus will beat you in a dual no matter what.

Anyways, that is the first accident I've ever witnessed involving a tram, and thank goodness. It could be a pretty unpleasant sight to see if it involved a person. I'm shocked that more people aren't killed by these things every day! This tram had its side window blown out, and several dents/scrapes. The truck lost its bumper and a few other parts. But, I just had to snap this pic and run off to the metro so I could make my train.

The next day at lunch I walked here too, and almost the same exact thing happened again as I was crossing the street---I must be a distraction to these drivers in my pink jacket or something! But the look on the drivers face and the jump he made in his seats when he realized that there was a tram right next to him--priceless!

the new place to pick up a date

2008-02-28T00:20:00.001-08:00

heater at amstel station
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

I know my photographic skills on my camera phone are rather lacking, especially since i was trying to be not so obvious about taking a picture of a heater...but about a month ago, the railways introduced this heater (the red column in the center) on 2 platforms at the station I get out at in Amsterdam. They run on solar energy and supposedly only operate under 12degrees C. They are trying them out at this station to see if its worth introducing in the rest of the Netherlands. Its based on a project at Gare du Nord in Paris.

I think its a great idea- one is not enough for the hundreds of people there...but as long as the smokers are not illegally out of their designated smoking area and hogging all the warmth, its a great idea!

The DC Metro could definitely invest in these too!! But I suppose they would be defaced and broken within a week's time.

I can see this as the new place to pick up a date. Used to be the bar or a club...but why not standing around the heater at the train station waiting for a train? How romantic, huddling together around the sphere of heat. heheh..soo...where are you off to on the train?....can i have your number?

http://www.expatica.com/nl/articles/news/New-heating-facilities-at-Amsterdam-Amstel.html

That was a short tour

2008-02-22T02:34:00.000-08:00

Just read that Roland Arnall, the US Ambassador to the Netherlands is resigning. He was appointed by Bush in 2006, just about 2 years ago. He is the founder of Ameriquest Mortgage Company, and is worth an estimated $1.5 BILLION. Hmm, yeah, I don't think he needs this gig here in Holland. He just needed it to get out of some federal investigation into his business ethics, good thing his friend GW was there to the rescue. I guess he can't handle the heat in the Netherlands!

But at least he waited til after Super Tuesday, when he got Arnold Schwarzenegger on a live sat-link to prove they really are friends...

Well, perfect timing...I'm in search of a job, and here's a vacancy...I'm available!

Earth to Christy, do you copy?

2008-02-21T01:57:00.000-08:00

So we all know about this thing called communication. Whether verbal or non-verbal, you convey thoughts and messages to people, via some sort of auditory means or by physical means. Communication is even a field of study in the US; you can get a degree in 'communications'. The thing is, you don't think about communication until you can't [communicate]. Whether this means being far away from friends and family and not being able to talk with them, being in a situation where no one speaks your native language, or in the workplace where the lack of communication affects your ability to do your job. In my almost 1 full year here (already!), all of these things have been one of the great problems for me here, as a hindrance on my feelings of success and satisfaction. How can I have or obtain a certain quality of life if I cannot communicate properly with people? A good quote by George Bernard Shaw that I recently found sums it all up for me: "The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished."

As I search for a new job, one of the number one points for qualification is: excellent communication in a multicultural environment. Sure, I've studied abroad, heck I LIVE abroad now. I am forced to interact in a multicultural environment, so I think I've got that covered. I've worked with many people of different backgrounds in my last 10 plus years of job experience. But I've never had such an experience of non-communication as I've had here. There is a clear divide between two groups, and while I want to think it is cultural, it isn't: I've realized it is a division based on a background of professional and educational experience- you either have it or you don't. I have experienced many times in the last 6 months, how either the lack of communication or over-communication can affect 'team spirit' or team cooperation. This greatly frustrates me. It not only affects my job performance, but also definitely job satisfaction. And of course those not as experienced in working in a professional environment can still want to work to better themselves, to try...but many don't and just settle with what they have. I don't want to settle for this current state of affairs in my 'team' here, and that is the reason I am trying to look elsewhere in search of personal and professional satisfaction. I've been here almost six months, and during this time I've realized that even though several people try to change it for the better, it will just remain the same unless everyone wants to improve (even then it may not!!). But the fact of the situation is that not everyone does.

So in the workplace (even when English is spoken), with the lack of verbal communication, the focus on non-verbal communication also becomes important. What does mindless talking really communicate anyways? What does non-response really communicate? What does emailing a person sitting 2 feet away from you but not even saying good morning to them really mean? What does fleeing a problem really show me? I've been figuring out over the last several months, just because you can speak the language (whatever common language that is between two people), doesn't mean you can always communicate.

Winter sunset

2008-02-18T14:09:00.001-08:00

Winter sunset
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

I was looking thru my old pics on flickr, and i realized that one year ago today, was my 2nd leg of my drive back home to WI. I can't believe I left DC a whole year ago. That part of my life is further away by the day now. While it was an exciting time, as i was moving to the unknown...it was also a sad time when i had to say goodbye to some dear people who became my good friends over those two years there. They helped me through some tough times, but I also shared many good times with them too. I miss them a lot. And I also had to say goodbye to those experiences I had there, and to basically: my youth. I was moving from the single life to the 'samenleven', the life of living together. of never being alone without my loved one. It has been nice, this past year, to finally be with M, to have our life together. But it has been also difficult, as I have had to adjust to a new life and new ways of doing things, not only just adjusting to living together. And I haven't had the privilege of having close friends nearby as a support group. In that sense, it has been hard and sometimes lonely time, even though I don't consider myself 'needy'. But as the 1 year anniversary of my move to the Netherlands is approaching soon, I can see how much I've experienced, how much I've learned, and while not necessarily the track I would have thought for myself even 7 years ago, it is the track I'm on. The hard things that come my way, whether my struggle with the language and culture, the job situation, and my own internal struggles, it has been an interesting year and worth it to move here to be with M. Tomorrow is our 6th anniversary. Time seems to go faster every year.

This picture was taken somewhere in western Ohio last year, as I was driving west towards WI. It was a nice drive thru the rural US, and while I was sad that I had just left some good friends and good times behind me, the drive gave me lots of time to reflect on the past and what i was leaving that for and what I was about to do.

I really enjoy driving, and I miss being able to do that. That is my alone time, my thinking time, to sit back and watch the world go by.

I can stay!

2008-02-14T06:43:00.001-08:00

Last week I got my residence permit renewed! Instead of being valid for one year, it is valid for 5 years! It went much faster than the first time around- it took less than a month to be approved! I am legally allowed to live here (without more paperwork and money to the IND) until 2013! That seems like so far in the future, hard to believe that it is really only 5 years. Who knows if we will be here still in five years, but at least I'm allowed to be here.

Its a Super Week!

2008-02-08T00:31:00.000-08:00

So...from Super(bowl) Sunday to Super Tuesday....its all happening in America this week, and its all making headlines here. The Dutch media is really into following the American primaries and "the road to the White House". I would have to say there is a strong leaning towards the democrats. I think many dutch people love Bill Clinton and his 'legacy', just as many Americans do, which is obviously seen in how many supporters Hillary has. But there is a great interest in the possibility of the first black US president and all the social significance of such a feat in the context of American history and race relations. Even last week, the PM of the Netherlands reprimanded a cabinet member for saying he preferred Obama. I think there is a strong leaning for Obama here as they are intrigued by his call for change, hope for better relations with Europe, and the hope that he would not enter into unnecessary war. Most of the Dutch public news channels have reporters in the US, some have been following the primary race from Iowa to NH to South Carolina and this past week have been in New York City. They find the 24 hour coverage of this "news" of such cable networks like CNN, FOX, MSNBC, etc so funny; "everything is bigger in America". Does the voting really change that much they need full coverage 24/7? Well, I guess you just have to be in the US to understand such culture - Americans are always wanting everything in 'real time', they want to know what's going on and now. Its the same with entertainment- some Americans need to be entertained constantly (thus the high level of ADD in the US probably!!). So, you could look at the news as entertainment...but that's a different subject.

Wednesday morning at the US Embassy in The Hague, there was a "Super Tuesday Breakfast"...starting at 630am. On Wednesday morning here, it is still Tuesday in the US, and the results are coming in. At that point in the day, it was being declared that CA went to Clinton. They dedicated several minutes to this party on the morning news, even reporting live from there (not normal to report live from somewhere here in Holland), and interviewing the ambassador. They showed some nice doughnuts too, that two 20 something year old girls were serving and saying, "yes, typical American". Ah, the things we are known for around the world. Since Schwarzenegger is good friends with the ambassador here, he had a live feed to Arnold in Vegas, saying hello to his friend and to the embassy. American glitz and glamor! Even thousands of miles away!

The main point of this, is that there is a great interest and concern about the choice for president in the US, as it means so much for world politics, economics, peace, and stability.

How to commit a perfect murder: the van der sloot model

2008-02-05T06:31:00.000-08:00

Although probably a bit overshadowed by the Super Tuesday voting news, the next big news item of the week has a significant Dutch-American connection. Of course I'm talking of the Natalee Halloway case. She disappeared from a beach in Aruba in May 2005, and was last seen with a certain young Dutch boy, Joran van der Sloot. He's been arrested and held 2 different times in connection to this case, and was recently released the second time in early January of this year.

There is a 'famous' dutch crime journalist by the name of Peter deVries. Over the last month he secretly video taped conversations that Joran had in a car with his 'friend', an entrepreneur named Patrick (I think he's really his dealer). Patrick came to de Vries and offered to be an informant in order to help figure out what really happened in May 2005. Last week Thursday, the big news was that de Vries had undeniable evidence of Joran being guilty and solving the crime. His show on Sunday would reveal these tapes and what Joran said.

Friday night, on a different evening talk show, Joran said that it was all lies and he made it up to tell his friend what he wanted to hear. Yeah, I think that's the only defense you have left when you are caught on tape saying things of huge significance! And yeah, it was really stupid of him to do that, as he himself said to the hosts...but telling elaborate stories to a friend over several different days...why would you do that if 1. you didn't know him for that long and 2. you know you can't joke about something like this ???

Sunday the show aired and the tapes were revealed with the most crucial information concerning the disappearance of Natalee was shown. It was a taped confession basically...and that she's 'never to be found again'. With his typical arrogance and non-concern or remorse for a girl's life or that he could even be jailed for murder...he told this story to his friend while smoking joins in this outfitted Range Rover. The show was 2 hrs long, and over 7 million people watched it, that is the highest rating of a non-sport show in the NL since they began the ratings of public tv in 1989 or so. There are 16 million people who live in this country. After the show aired, a mob of people gathered around the house of his grandmother in a city in Friesland where he was rumored to be in hiding. They even checked all the taxi cabs leaving the building complex if he was inside...what they would have done then, I don't know.

And the even more amazing thing is that the prosecution in Aruba is not pursuing his arrest!! In the US, that would be a taped confession and enough evidence to find someone guilty. So, we're not in the US....he's a free man and he confessed to dumping her body in an ocean (or he said he had a friend do it)....without even really knowing if she was dead already or not! He even has earned money as compensation for being jailed in the past and not being charged (different rules in Holland!). he got money for being on tv shows here. But I would hope that the money rolling in stops here. I'm surprised so many people are interested in it here...and so many people do believe he is guilty and was telling the truth in those tapes. It was front page news from Thursday last week til now. No one has seen him or heard from him since Sunday. If he thinks he's really free...I have no idea how he can go on with attending school normally, getting a job, or living peacefully here. It won't happen.

Maybe its a good thing that this all happened between the Super Bowl and Super Tuesday. It got a lot of air time in the US, based on what I've seen and read here. Peter de Vries is the hero (adds to his ego) and will be on Larry King Live, Oprah, and all the other cable news network programs. If it weren't for the super days...this would be on the news all the time 24/7. I see enough of that disgusting guy (Joran) on tv as it is. I just wish he would be jailed for what he's admitted to doing! He's a messed up manic guy who is so arrogant he thinks he's untouchable. He needs to wake up and get out of his own cloud of marijuana smoke and smell the sloppy 'mystery meat' meal in an Aruban jail.

There are still some things that shock me every now and then

2008-01-28T05:34:00.000-08:00

Last week two things actually kinda surprised me. Now, I'm not easily surprised by anything here anymore, being used to the Dutch way and all...but here are two different things but equally shocking:

Last week when walking to the train station- I saw little flower buds peeking up from the grass-- the crocuses are out - ALREADY! its was mid- January last week! Man, that is pretty darn early if you ask me! What is going on here?

Also- I know the Dutch are rather direct and practical and all-- but last week, i saw a bunch of new advertisements up on the wall of the underground passage way. At least 5 signs (of maybe 10) were about a divorce -'beurs' (like a trade show or conference) in Utrecht in February! "Thinking about getting a divorce? Then come to the trade show in Utrecht on Feb 6th and meet with....etcetc". You would go to a trade show for that? This just strikes me as odd. Isn't it sort of a more personal matter and you'd want to find a lawyer or someone to talk to in private? Weird. I just can't believe that there's this whole industry based on divorce that they'd have a trade show for it. And everyone says the US is the divorce capital of the world...well I suppose they aren't too far behind here (but I don't have any statistics on this though!). And like walking through a train station after a hard day of work at your crappy job on your way back home to your wife...you see these signs, and think, "yeah, i want to get some information on this thing called divorce....hmmm."

Ah, I think the flowers were a nicer surprise last week! :)

The never-ending process

2008-01-16T00:15:00.000-08:00

Well, its not that bad this time, at least I hope not...its time to renew the residence permit! I barely have had mine, and its time to renew. Its been about 4 months since I was approved, but its been almost one year since I've been here. It expires in early March, so have to go through the process again- sending all the forms required, including bank statements, work contract papers, health insurance forms, tax forms, proof of our residence at the same address, an entire copy of M's passport, proof of our relationship (we included old emails, pictures, etc to tell a story)...and other things I probably have no idea, since the directions are in Dutch, and M took care of it, thank goodness. We sent it in last week, and already paid our 188euros. Hopefully it will be renewed for 5 years, and then in 2013 (if we are still here), it can be renewed for 'indefinitely'. So now its kind of a waiting game again, but this time I don't have to worry about the length of time, as I'm already working and making the big bucks, er, euros....(jk, not really). Too bad I didn't take a new passport photo-- I just used one from last year. I look like a monster (you're not allowed to smile in passport photos here- its against the law!) So my card will look the same for the next 5 years. I should have thought about that ahead of time. Oh well!!

Winter scenes

2008-01-10T06:24:00.000-08:00

Just as a comparison, within a weeks time, I've been on two continents, with two very different types of climates. The NL is much further north than Wisconsin, however due to the influence of the sea on the climate, it doesn't get really cold here or snow at all (not very often at least). The picture on the left was taken this past Sunday in de Bilt, just outside of Utrecht. The other was taken in Wisconsin on Dec 31st, after it snowed about 6" a few days earlier. Both are pretty, but only one is really "winter" to me.

general feeling

2008-01-09T01:29:00.000-08:00

I know that it sounds as if I'm a bigger fan for the US than Holland at this time. I can see where you may get that impression. When people ask me if I like it here, I say "sometimes yes, sometimes no". But I also say, if i didn't like it here, I wouldn't be here. Yes, the first and foremost reason I'm here is because of my partner. Five years ago, after my semester here, I would have given almost anything to continue to live here. But things are different here when you are a student. There are things to do, people your age to hang out with, programs created for you, etc. As a regular resident, its different...its real life! And when I can't communicate or have lasting relationships here in real life, it is harder, and with my tendencies of being a more negative person, I get down about it more often and let it affect me more.

So I was thinking, what are the things here I like? Why do I stay here?

I like the church bells that ring every 15 minutes on the quarter hour. I like the quaint little brick streets. I like that I'm living in such an old place with history. I like the little shops, the open windows, the brick streets, the oldness to it. Its more sophisticated here (I'm not saying I am though!). It's just different than what I grew up with. Transportation is easy. Its a good base for travel around Europe. The government seems to care for its citizens more than in the US. There are fewer scandals here. I feel safe (there are under 200 murders in the entire country per year). Guns are illegal. There are a lot of people from different nationalities who live here. The food is different. I like the spring when the flowers bloom. I like the summer when it is light until 10pm and every one sits outside at a cafe terraces along the canals drinking a beer. I like that it is a less hectic life here (although not for me this year). You get more vacation days to spend with your family. If my children go to school here, they will be able to learn at least three languages. People here are (in general) more informed on worldly affairs: both historic and current. Due to the small size of this country, all news concerns other countries.

These reasons aren't anything definite, its all kind of abstract. Its sort of a general feeling I get, when walking the streets of Amsterdam or Utrecht, for example. So I suppose it is rather personal, and I feel some sense of emptiness in these abstract feelings, because I can only share it with myself. But the personal experiences I've had are the harder thing to get past, that it is very difficult to find and make friends here, or people who take a genuine interest in you and make an effort to be your friend. Personal relationships are what binds a person to a place, and feel a bit more fulfilled and whole. Its often difficult to get past the idea that it is just a cultural thing, and that its just the way it is here. Sometimes I even wonder how I met M. Again, its the difference between student life and 'normal adult life'. When you're young, you're a bit more open to talking and meeting new people. When you're out of school, you're past that socializing time, and you have your established 'people'.

Even though I like it here because it is different, I know that is also the same reason I will some day return to the US as well.

Reflections on another year

2008-01-07T01:35:00.000-08:00

A pretty major anniversary has passed recently. On January 4th, 2002, I made a decision to board a plane, and that decision has forever brought my life to a more defined path. Yes, I did decide earlier in 2001 to go, but to actually get on that plane was a step in the direction of change. I specifically remember standing at O'Hare with my sister and dad, hugging and saying goodbye. That in itself was not unusual, as going to university in a different state, I always had to say goodbye, at least 2 or 3 times a year to them. But this was bigger- I was leaving the country for 6 months. After living in Germany on a student high school exchange in 1998, I always figured and wanted to live abroad again, and a college study abroad semester is the best and easiest opportunity to take advantage of a chance to live somewhere else for a half year. But, as I was standing before the checkpoint, I asked, through tears, "what am I doing!?!" It seemed like the natural thing to do, to just go abroad, but to actually step on the plane, and leave my friends in Oklahoma behind for 7 months...what was I going to do in Holland anyways? Why was I going?

Six years later, January 4, 2008, here I am, back in Holland. Little did I know six years ago, that I would have the best six months of my life that would take me on a track that would never have happened if I would have stayed home for the spring semester of my junior year in Oklahoma. I met the man I am going to marry. I also have friends around the world, I have traveled a lot, spent a lot of money on plane tickets and phone calls, developed an allergy problem that I have no idea how to solve, and am living in a historic cultural city. I'd say, except for the allergy problem, it was a good choice to get on that plane.

So, six years later, and recently back from a visit to the 'motherland' after being away for 10 months, what better time to write a bit about my thoughts on the these two countries, before the memories start to fade again, as I get back into the busy swing of things here in Utrecht, and I don't have time to think clearly. Granted, it is difficult to to be fair on the good and bad only based on the one week I spent there, when it was a 'happy time' during the holidays. And a short visit is not real every day life and all that comes with it. Visiting during a nice time during a holiday cannot give you a clear picture of what it is normally like.

First of all, when re-entering the US, its so strange, because only 8 hours ago, you were somewhere completely different. You realize how easy it is to travel the world. Suddenly you're in the oddly-familiar surroundings of a passport control line at O'Hare. You see the people you are used to in your country. You hear the accents, the slang. You see the bewildered old dutch women in line at the bathroom a bit bewildered by the new people they are surrounded by in the airport. You also see the passport line 10 times as long for visitors. You hear the 'welcome to the United States of America...' announcement in the most dull, monotone, and unemotional male voice ever.

You hear English being spoken all around you. From the other Americans in line with you, from the police, from the airport workers in their slang with a slight sound of annoyance at having to work and deal with us, the people waiting in line. It is like a major overload on the senses to suddenly hear English all over the place, when for the last 10 months, you've been tuning your ears specifically for English, because when you hear it on the streets in Holland, its not as normal. You hear words and conversations you don't want to hear. You must practice tuning outside words and conversations out for the next 10 days. (You later figure out that this affects your listening skills with your fiance as you don't hear or listen as closely as you once did).

In general, the most noticeable thing about the difference between people in Holland and the US are the personalities. Of course, there are always exceptions, there can be jerks all over the world, and really nice people too. But in general, I think Americans are more friendly and open to just talking to someone they don't know. It is extremely noticeable of the this cheerful and helpful attitude when you go out to eat in a restaurant. The server is overly friendly to you, its hysterical how over the top friendly she is. However, since you are eating with a friend who doesn't know how it is elsewhere, she wouldn't find it funny. I think its funny, but I also enjoy it this overly friendly or overly accommodating treatment. I'm not laughing at them, I'm laughing (in my head) at the such stark contrasts in people's attitudes in a similar job position. Of course, in the US people are also working for tips, and get paid crap wages in a waitress position. In Europe, they get paid 'normal' wages, and tips are not as important. So, as you get your super large 36 oz soda with free refills, you smile at the situation, and take a note to give a nice tip.

In the stores, people ask you several times if they can help you. If you really do need help, this is nice customer service. If you're just wandering and looking around and don't need help, it can be annoying. But when I'm looking for the women's basketball shoe section at a store full of thousands of shoes, its nice to be directed to the correct 6 square feet of wall space and the (only) 6 shoes to choose from. But just so you know, we have plenty of mens basketball shoes that most women end up buying. The section is right around the corner.

Thanks.

I also think it is a thing of just simply being considerate. Call it polite, or whatever you want, but I think people in the US are a lot more considerate of others. Whether they do it because they have to in order to get paid well for their job, or simply a stranger in line with you at a store, they are more considerate and friendly. Other people may interpret that as fake, but I suppose it all depends on your own personal background on how you grew up and act around and to others.

I found it often rather confusing, when I was in a certain situation, which way should I act? The Dutch way or the American way? Oh man, I can't remember what is 'normal' in the US anymore! When I'm not friendly enough, am I rude? If I don't continue a conversation with someone I don't know, is that rude? If I need to get in the metro at the airport to get between terminals, do I push my way in and just make space for myself without uttering a word, or do apologize profusely? What language am I speaking, by the way?

I went to get my hair cut and colored at a salon I've only been to once before, 1.5 years ago. When I sat down and started to tell my hair stylist what I was thinking, the woman who cut my hair since I was probably at least 10 years old was working on a women in the chair next to me! She squealed and came over and gave me a big hug! She told me to stay in Holland. She really tries to encourage me to stay out of Sheboygan, and enjoy what is out there in world, outside of Sheboygan - whether Oklahoma or Utrecht. I think its because she regrets not traveling, and feels that she is stuck in Sheboygan (its not true- you can travel at any age!). Then after that, I sit and debate with myself, how much personal information do I really offer and talk to my hair stylist about? What questions do I ask her about herself? How much personal information do they want to know and hear. In Holland, no one really offers that type of stuff until you know them for awhile. Its all on the surface talk I think. (But that may be because I can't talk much more than on the surface). Well, since this is Sheboygan, and its small town friendly, I think a lot of stuff is fair game to talk about and to ask. $117 and 3 hours later, I leave looking like a different person than when I walked in.

Besides the over the top sensational news every night, the sappy sitcoms, and the overload of car and fast food commercials, what else is different here? Oh, besides the fact that my favorite late night shows are all on reruns because of the writers strike, the networks run reruns from Christmas time 2 years ago. The humor and sarcasm I miss so much and want to enjoy, I am unable to, as its old news.

The weather is also different, and something I miss in the US. I miss the extremes of the weather. The super hot temps in summer with huge thunderstorms and amazing clouds, and the bitter cold of winter that makes your nose hairs freeze in only the 15 seconds it takes you to walk to your car. I miss the snow. Luckily it did snow about 6" while I was in Sheboygan. I even got up before everyone else in my family on a Saturday morning to shovel, since I haven't had that opportunity in probably 9 or 10 years! That is pretty amazing.

The way people dress in these two countries is also different. I prefer the clothes and the prices in the US, however my casual style doesn't always fit in with the fashion scene in Holland. I always have to think, will this label me as "American" when I'm walking around? I did buy some new shoes (Simple), that are casual, but aren't athletic shoes. I was pretty excited about that find. They are also eco-friendly! Even better! I know they were cool like 10 years ago when I was in high school, but no way could I afford that coolness factor then. In any case, I spend most of my money on clothes at Kohls anyways; I don't think that will ever change. The prices are just too hard to resist.

So that's probably the stuff on the surface, what I'm ok talking about: service and friendliness, tv, weather, clothes. What about the 'other stuff'? I don't know if it can be based on logical things, or any one thing. Its a feeling you have. I think, at some point, I would prefer to live in the US again. I'm just too far away from my family and my friends, and the familiarity of it all; the familiarity I tried to get away from in the last several years. But I enjoy the friendliness and the openness, people being polite. I enjoy talking to my friends. I enjoy having friends. I enjoy the convenience of American life. I admit, I am lazy at times. But I'm also a busy person. Its nice that stores are open when I'm actually able to go shopping. But, on the other hand, I've invested a lot of money in moving here. It would be not too smart to move back at this point. Also, if I had a job I enjoyed, it probably would make every day life more enjoyable and I wouldn't focus on the negative, as I usually tend to do. Thus, my New Years Resolution is to find a new job in 2008. Hopefully earlier in 08 rather than later, but at this point, I'd be happy with it at any time.

So, as I was sitting on United 908 back to Amsterdam, a lot was going through my head. I wasn't able to sleep at all during the 7 hour flight back, even though I was sitting in a lovely reclining chair in business class. Even the free white wine served during dinner didn't help me nod off either. But I need to realize that no definite decision needs to be made now. Whether I go back next year or in five years, or whenever, it will happen when it should and will happen. And as I stated at the beginning of this post, an 8 hour flight and you're on the other side of the world again. And 5 weeks vacation helps some with the distance predicament. I already know I will be going back twice in 2008.

We'll see what else 2008 brings. As well as what Holland can bring to me, and what I can bring to it.

The Other Side

2008-01-02T07:27:00.001-08:00

sears tower peeking thru the fog
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

Happy 2008! I'm back on 'the other side' -back on European soil already. And on the other side of winter - on the way up: to longer days and more day light.

My time in the US went very quickly. It was only 10 days, but it was pretty packed every single day with things- whether family stuff, shopping, or planning, I really didn't even get a chance to talk to any friends on the phone as I'd like...or even see some in person, as I would have liked that even more! I feel bad about that. I needed more time! I didn't even get a chance to really relax and realize that I was home. I guess shopping at Kohls, Target, and Walmart sort of helped me feel more like I'm back in the US. And the over-zealous customer service in stores and in restaurants. That just does not happen in Holland.

Besides spending a lot of money shopping (the dollar/euro exchange rate is great for those who earn euros!!!), I spent a lot of my time working on the planning of our wedding. It was hard to plan when my other half was not there with me. Invitations were picked, food was discussed, and most importantly, I found a dress. I found it at the last minute, seriously. I visited two bridal stores that week, one a national chain, and one a private shop. There was one other place in Sheboygan that for some reason I didn't go to til Friday night, half an hour before they closed (I thought I had 1.5 hours). I was leaving Saturday noon to drive to Chicago. I honestly did not expect to find something that I liked in Sheboygan. Well, amazingly I found a dress here, and its probably much easier to deal with a local shop owner than with some national chain.

This photo was taken over Lake Michigan as I was approaching the shoreline on Dec 19th, looking south towards downtown Chicago. You can see the top of the Sears Tower on the right, and the Hancock Tower is more towards the left. It was beautiful! I think my short time in the US can be described as this picture: the time was beautiful but also only a short glimpse of what's really there. I didn't have enough time to do everything I wanted to do or see. My mind was sort of in a haze the whole time, since I was so busy. My hometown is on Lake Michigan and I only live 1 mile from the shore- yet in 10 days, I did not even see Lake Michigan. I only enjoyed this image of downtown Chicago for a short minute as we flew on towards O'Hare. My time in Wisconsin was short, but also enjoyed every moment I had there.

Merry Christmas to all

2007-12-24T15:19:00.001-08:00

bram and the christmas tree
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

Well, I am back on a short visit in the US for the Christmas holiday week. Its been very busy with all the preparations for the wedding...I hope I can get something accomplished...mostly finding a dress is the of the upmost importance. After spending most of my day shopping last minute, tomorrow I can sit and rest (I hope)...enjoy the tree, enjoy being back in WI, enjoy the day. I hope to get over this cold, and I hope to catch up with some friends on the phone. It might be the last xmas in this house for us all, which is quite sad...as my parents might move before next xmas. i've been too busy to dwell on this.
Merry Christmas to you all, and here is a pic M took of Bram last week in front of our tree in Utrecht. He wishes you a wonderful holiday too!

sunset in rotterdam

2007-12-18T04:19:00.001-08:00

sunset in rotterdam
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

this past saturday afternoon we went to rotterdam to see where 2 of M's friends are living...and where they will be moving to in a year or so...they are planning on buying a house in an 'up and coming' neighborhood. the entire house needs to be refurbished and re-done. but currently they are living in an anti-squat place in the city of schiedam. its in a deserted office building in the middle of a industrial area- where who knows what kind of shady things go down. they have a whole floor of this place to themselves, its huge. but its also freezing cold- there's no heat or hot water. so the rent is cheap- i prefer a real house with necessities than cheap living in a shady area. but we went to the top of this building, maybe 10 stories high, it was a nice view.
then we biked from there several km to the city of rotterdam and around some neighborhoods. the city reminds me of baltimore a bit- a city based on its harbor. rotterdam has all these "new" huge office buildings, because everything was bombed in the war and needed to be rebuilt. its the most 'american' city in the netherlands, as far as architecture and a central downtown business district goes.
we had to bike thu a tunnel that went under the harbor. we also biked by this 'parking lot' area for boats, one permanent boat had a playground on it even. beautiful sunset.

Christmas markets in Cologne

2007-12-12T01:13:00.001-08:00

Christmas markets at the Dom
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

This past Sunday, M and I went to Cologne, Germany, on the train, for the Christmas markets! It just happened to be my birthday as well on Sunday. We went because it was the only free day we had, not necessarily because it was my birthday. We went there 4 years ago in 2003, and it is such a nice atmosphere, we wanted to go again (or he was nice and suggested we go). So, a 2 hour train ride, and there we are in the center of Cologne. There are I think 7 Christmas markets around the city. We walked all afternoon, and got to 5 of them I think (the other 2 you have to pay for!). The weather cooperated and it was nice, but of course, a bit cold. Since it was Sunday, none of the stores were open! That was a bummer, I wanted to buy some shoes!

The city was packed full of thousands of people, and it was just inching along as you were in the markets. I didn't look much at the stuff, since some of it is kitchy. But of course I spent more time with the food! We knew where to go for potato pancakes-- and we bought those first! Yum! And later I had a big bratwurst (not the american/sheboygan kind) which was like a foot long! We also made time for some cake/apfelstrudel and hot chocolate. yum! But I was so full that for dinner I did not want any more meat or anything heavy. Funny enough, we went this place called "Chicago Steakhouse" and they had a salad bar, not up to normal US standards, but they had one. So i had a big salad and some soup and I was good. Oh yeah, and we also went to Starbucks, since there isn't Starbucks in the Netherlands (although, they just opened one in the terminal at the airport...but you have to be a passenger to buy it. Not that I think Starbucks is the best, but its nice to have flavored coffee instead of this dutch koffie). A grande -small- was really too much for me to drink. I'm used to smaller portions now.

The day didn't end so well though. At 840pm our train was leaving. So we got to the track a bit before 830. There was a big steam engine on the track, pulling the train, it must have been some special tour thing. But as it was pulling out, all the steam went up into the air but got trapped by the glass ceiling. It must have condensed very quickly, as I felt these big drops falling down on me, it was dirty steam water or oil, I don't know, but it fell on ME ONLY for some reason, and on my head, glasses and worst of all, on my pink wool jacket. So we went to the customer service as fast as we could and luckily were able to see someone in the 10 minutes we had left....just to ask for a number for the DB (Deutsche Bahn- train company) where we could file a complaint, and hopefully get them to pay for the cleaning or the jacket. It could be ruined if its oil. Even dirt is not easy to get out on a pink jacket. Oh well, I can't control anything. But we made our train and back home by 1130pm. And of course, it was raining here when we got back.

Next Christmas, I may try another Christmas market in Belgium or in London, even though its the German food that draws me back to Cologne!

i'm a zwarte piet!

2007-12-07T01:18:00.001-08:00

i'm a zwarte piet!
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

From American holidays to Dutch holidays we go….Dec 5th is the night that Sint leaves presents outside the front door for all the little Dutch kiddies. It is the night of the 5th that he sails back to Spain with his helpers, the zwarte pieten. Since Wednesday night I was at my dutch class, we just planned on having a short lesson, then we all brought some food to share with the class, and if possible, the food could be something from your home country. I made a pumpkin pie, or in dutch : pompoen taart. They don’t really ‘do’ pies in the Netherlands. The whole idea of a pie crust is not exactly the same as our pie crusts. They have vlaai , which is more like our pastry tarts or something. If they have a crust (like in apple pie), its usually much thicker and bread-ier, not just a thin crust like we have.
Anways, the pie was enjoyed, even though it was a bit burnt, and the top part was wrinkled (perhaps too many eggs?? I don’t know!). They still were adventurous and tried it.
But at 8, unannounced to us, Sint was coming to the school where we were at. We all went to the break area, and he drove in on a blue Honda motorcycle! That was interesting for sure. Guess he couldn’t find his white horse. But then he immediately choose two people as he needed some helpers, some piets. He choose a black guy and then he pointed at me and I thought he said I was to help him get dressed…but he really meant I was the other piet! My first time being a piet. I had to put the clothes on over my jeans and sweater…and had an afro wig and a hat with a feather. The other guy said to me in Dutch ‘I am a REAL black piet!’ How funny! And if this isn’t integration, I don’t know what is.
Sint read some stories, sang a few songs, and then 30 min later he had to go back to Spain. I wish I could have really gone with him. Its warmer there, and rains less. Plus, I could use a vacation!

Things to be thankful for

2007-11-25T04:32:00.001-08:00

time to eat!
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

This past Thursday was Thanksgiving in the USA. Originally, this holiday was celebrated to give thanks for the fall harvest, dating back to the 1600's and the times of the Pilgrims in America. Now days, it is a day when people gather with their families and eat a large meal, usually with turkey, stuffing, potatoes, green beans, cranberries, squash, and pumpkin pie. Then the afternoon is spent trying to digest all this food...traditionally watching (American) football on tv. Ahh...the memories.

I enjoy this holiday, but this was not the first time I have not been with my family on this day. This was the 3rd time I was not home in my 26 years. But for some reason, I was particularly nostalgic and sad that I was not home, at least in US where the general feeling of a holiday gets everyone all excited. I think the holiday, in combination with my problems with work, and for the first time I missed home...I was really sad.

But when I got home at 630, I was expecting lasagna for dinner, as we had previously discussed. But, M apparently left work early at 2 to come home and make a Thanksgiving meal for me to make me feel better. That was so sweet of him! Of course I immediately started crying. He made an excellent dinner, with pumpkin soup with feta, butternut squash, potato casserole, and a piece of turkey for me. Also some pumpkin pie afterwards! Bonus points for him!! ;-) It was really very sweet of him, and it helped my feelings of sadness disappear. I am very thankful for such a wonderful man in my life.

Its that time of year again...

2007-11-21T02:15:00.001-08:00

the zwarte pieten
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

...Where all the discussions open up again about 'zwarte piet' (black pete) and racism. Its a tradition in Holland, that Sinterklaas comes around the middle of November. He arrives on a boat 'from Spain' with all his helpers, who are named 'zwarte piets'. Now, in reality, these are a bunch of white dutchies dressing up in sort of festival carnival outfits, with poofy pants, painted black faces, painted red lips, and gold hoop earrings. They have hats with feathers on them. Oh yeah, and big black afro wigs. They lead Sinterklaas (who dresses like a bishop) around on a white horse. Its a Dutch tradition, and the children love it.

But, every year, the Saturday around Nov 15th he arrives on a boat, and in Utrecht this takes place on the Oude Gracht. Sinterklaas is basically St. Nicholas...but delivers presents as Santa Claus does in the US. In the US, Santa has elves, here, Sint has zwarte pieten. So, Sinterklaas arrives, and the zwarte pieten deliver presents to children and help Sint out. If children are naughty, he and his black petes take them back to Spain with them. Now, I don't see this as too shabby of a deal. Maybe I should be a naughty kid--take me away to Spain!

But why are there white people painting their faces black year after year, in the name of tradition? Where's the political correctness? Year after year, this tradition stays the same. I doubt it will ever change, knowing how things work here in Dutch society. Originally, the theory is that the zwarte piet represented the devil. Other things that are more mainstream and given as sort of an excuse as to why they do this, is that the Piets are Sint's Moorish friends from North Africa. Other people give the reason that they are black because they went down the chimney to deliver presents. I don't buy this because most dutch homes do not have chimneys and fireplaces. And what's the reason for the large red lips and afro wigs? In any case, its open for debate every year, and in typical dutch fashion, all this discussing things never leads to much of anything. The polder model, their own form of consensus decision making. Discussion leads to ...more discussion. Perhaps Americans are a bit too overly concerned about everything being politically correct, which can bring problems of its own in trying to get through anything without offending someone else....but this form of Dutch un-PCness is almost a little beyond belief for me, every year.

But I thought that this was something very typically dutch that needed to be mentioned on this blog. Last Saturday I went to go see his arrival again, but after 15 minutes, I lost interest. I only got a glimpse of Sint, but later in the day I did see a lone zwarte piet walking the white horse home.

And the best thing about this time of year: the cookies! Chocolate covered ginger cookies are so delish, I could eat them the whole day long. There are other traditional cookies and sweets, but these are my favorite by far.

If you want to read more about this sinterklaas tradition, here is a starting place.

Hmm...somehow this doesn't surprise me

2007-11-13T04:22:00.001-08:00

File this in the "duh!" category!!!

Apparently I live in an even more democratic country than the one of my birth which is trying to spread democracy world wide. About 2 weeks ago, a judge in the city of Den Bosch was found to be unqualified, and therefore, 11 cases tried by this judge must be dismissed...and as a result, so far 6 criminals that were found to be guilty by this judge, had to be released back into society!!! One was found guilty of murder, one of rape, one of strangling HER boyfriend, and one of child molestation. Obviously not people that should be released into society!

The court had this to say about the "blunder":

"In a constitutional state like the Netherlands people can only be held if there is a legal basis for that. The fact that the suspects are thought to have been involved in serious crimes and that it is socially inadvisable for them to be released does not diminish this constitutional right."

Yikes! Apparently constitutional right comes before society safety!!

Sure, of course they were going to watch and monitor them until their next trial with a qualified judge, right? yes yes, of course.

oh wait, take a look at this headline:

Two released suspects missing

Doh! Yes, less than a week after they were released, 2 of the 6 are missing. That's not a very good success rate. And yeah, its the child molester and the abusive girlfriend that are missing. Remind me if I ever do something against the law, to be tried in Den Bosch so I can get released and have the chance to make my get-away.

I didn't see Al Gore predict this one

2007-11-09T01:52:00.000-08:00

Another prominent feature of dutch society, besides bikes, is water. Water is everywhere here. Canals in cities, lakes all over the place, and ditches in farm fields. Its all planned of course though...all these waterways were man made. This is especially evident if you look at a satellite image of Holland - you'll see rural areas covered by long rectangles. These rectangles are not made evident by tree lines or big fences-- its by little canal drainage ditches.

Well, this weekend there is a big storm blowing through off the North Sea. There are worries of flooding, as a third of the Netherlands is below sea level. Besides the normal wind and rain of a 'typical fall storm', they are worried about the storm surge, and the rising sea level. For the first time since 1976 that the entire coast of the Netherlands is on alert. The water barrier in Rotterdam was closed for the first time ever since it was built over 10 years ago.

My first hand experiences of this storm that I can report to you: riding a bike without a rain jacket or hat in the dark with the wind blowing is really not my idea of a fun time. Rain + dark + glasses + steam = you can't see a damn thing. You get soaking wet before you go anywhere, and you can't go anywhere fast because the wind is blowing so dang hard. And in typical mocking manner: it stops raining momentarily at the moment you reach home.

And luckily for me, I live on the 5th floor of an apartment building, so hopefully I am above sea level by this point! :-)

I think the threat of attack by a big giant wave calls for an elevation to CODE RED in the FREAK EVERYONE OUT WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE table below (otherwise described as the "threat-based, color-coded system so that protective measures can be implemented to reduce the likelihood or impact of an attack" system).

You can't catch them if you can't see them!

2007-11-08T02:25:00.000-08:00

Along with the change to 'wintertime' two weeks ago (one week ahead of the USA), comes the darkness. Being at 52 degrees N latitude, you see much less of the sun during the winter time. The shortest day of the year in December, brings only 7 hours and 43 minutes of daylight. In comparison to Chicago, IL ( at 41.5N latitude), you see 9 hours and 7 minutes of daylight. Here are some interesting graphs I found with this sort of information about Utrecht. The timing information I found on www.timeanddate.com . Currently, my day is getting shorter by over 3 minutes each day! Amazing!

Well, I'm faced with this sad reality of 3 minutes less daylight every day, when I ride my bike to and from the train station in the morning and night. Especially in the evening, as I walk to my bike, past the junkies shooting up heroin in wide open plain view, and dodging the the other bikers racing by going home. You must have lights on your bike in order to be seen by everyone else, not only cars and buses, but other bikers too! And I mean working , functioning lights.

I'd say about 90% of the bikes here are old pieces of junk. The lights are no longer working, having seen their better days maybe 15 years ago. So, people must buy their lights, battery powered clip on lights, available at all bike stores, at the market, and at Hema (dept store). But, a large portion of people still do not do this!! Its dangerous for them AND for me!

Recently, in the past week, the police made it widely known that they would start ticketing bikers with lights clipped to their clothes or bags. Before, you'd get a fine if you didn't have lights at all (for example, me in 2004!). Now, if they aren't attached to your bike, you will get fined, even if you have lights on. But since this 'threat' from the politie, I have not noticed a change at all in how people wear their lights. I still see them attached to their messenger bags or front of their jackets. I also haven't seen the police out at check points trying to catch people. So what incentive is there to attach the lights to your bike?

I personally agree that it is safer to have the lights on the bike, and not just on the person/bag. You can't see lights as well when they're attached to a coat- as the person moves, the light moves and you can't see them very well at all. So , it is a hassle that you have to go dig up that old screwdriver to attach the lights to your bike...but I think some dutchies would rather be caught several times and pay the 20euro fine, before they actually do it. I think I read that some guy was already caught 3 times with lights on his bag, yet he still won't attach the lights to his bike. But after reading this article that the politie are giving less priority in giving fines...you get a mixed message, and even less compliance.

I guess the politie must accept that there are just too many bikers out there to catch and fine. Also, when you don't have lights on ...you're harder to catch! They can't see you!

The nice side of Amsterdam

2007-10-30T12:16:00.001-07:00

This past Saturday I went to Amsterdam --yes on my day off even! But its much nicer to be able to walk around the city and enjoy it, and not go to work. I went there with my friend V to try some wedding dresses on. Then we walked around the shopping street some, and later M came and met up with us on the Leidseplein. We walked around, and as it got colder, we got hungrier, and needed to find a place to eat! We walked along some nice streets-- where the locals are and the tourists probably don't even venture out this way. We wanted to go to our Ethiopian restaurant near the Wibautstraat metro, but when we got there- it was closed! It looked like they were remodeling. So we settled for Italian instead, and of course, that was good. It was a crisp day with a biting wind. But it was a nice day, definitely. I enjoy walking through Amsterdam's streets and neighborhoods that are removed from the tourist track.

Fall Break

2007-10-22T10:48:00.000-07:00

Thanks to something called "herfst vakantie", a week long vacation that school children enjoy every year, I am enjoying a break from my Dutch language lessons this week. It was a much needed break. Its nice to leave work and not have to rush around on my bike all over Utrecht and go to bed so late. I can stay home and sit in my pj's and watch my bunnies hop around!

This past weekend I started the search for a wedding dress. The day is still 243 days away (according to my knot.com page). I went to a shop in Utrecht that sells couture dresses. I'm not aiming for couture, but it is the only shop I know in Utrecht! I tried on four, and one was really nice on me. It was definitely a style that I never had in mind, as it is not as 'simple' as I picture my dress to be. But it was still nice. The price was also nice... 1700 euros!! Too bad I can't afford that. Well, we shall see what else is out there. I wasn't allowed to take a picture of myself in it, but for a picture of the dress, take a look here and click on 'diamante'.

http://www.theweddingshop.co.uk/pronovias.html

A perfect lap-bun

2007-10-19T03:24:00.001-07:00

Mommy with Bram and her laptop
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

Here's our little Bram, who actually jumped up on my lap while I was occupying myself with a little emailing and Flickr....no space on my lap, but he wanted to join me. so cute!

Either that, or he wanted to do some online shopping for carrots and yummy treats.

Sunset over Amsterdam

2007-10-15T00:26:00.001-07:00

Sunset over Amsterdam
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

Its getting lighter later in the morning, and darker earlier in the evening. I ride my bike to the station before the sun is even up! I think within a week I will be in complete darkness at 730am!
This beautiful picture was taken by a collegue from our 6th floor window of our office (i'm on the 6th floor). Its a view westwards towards the sunset. Rembrandtplein, a popular tourist area with bars, clubs and restaurants circle the square.

being a part of something (takes time)

2007-10-11T06:17:00.000-07:00

I wanted to write about this past weekend. I've been keeping myself REALLLLLY busy, that's why I haven't been able to write til now! Language lessons, basketball, and basketball related duties are keeping me very busy. Last night I didn't get home til after 1130pm! And didn't get to bed til 1am! I have to let the rabbits out for a little while, or they won't have any time to stretch their legs and hop at any other time of the day! M is not here in Utrecht this week. He's far far away in a place called Friesland...in northern Holland. You know, for the Dutch, 2.5 hours away really is like the edge of the world! He's there helping his parents settle in to their new house. Oh, and his contract was renewed for one more year (or really, it is in writing this time since it really shouldn't have had to be 'renewed' in the first place). So his job is safe, and he will be able to still get his PhD in the end.

Last weekend was full of basketball, as I'm sure many more weekends to come will be as well. Saturday night I had to score-keep for the women's' 1 team. They have a very weird score keeping card/sheet here, it took awhile for me to understand it. Seriously, changing colors of the pen each quarter to keep the stats....very weird. there must be more efficient way of score keeping (there is...trust me...in the US of course).

Then on Sunday, i was again at the sport hall from 530-11. I watched my team play, then I had to keep score again for another game, then I watched M play in his game (he joined the club too). While it was busy, it felt nice to be involved in something, to be apart of something. Its a good way to see some sort of 'result' to just the practicing, as so far that's all I've mostly been involved with. I kinda felt like I was back in middle school again- when we had weekend tournaments and 20 schools would take part in the weekend tournament. Those were fun times. anyways, it felt nice to be apart of something again. (It also helped though that M was around to help me score keep the first game!! and that he was around for the afternoon too). Now, if only I could really be able to communicate better...

Oh, and I'm the 'smoelenboek commissie'...the 'address/picture book committee' for the club...I have to put together all the pictures, addresses, and they have to answer one question based on the theme of the book...we're putting it together and giving it out at the next Borrel ('drink/happy hour'). I'm working with one other woman on this. The theme is 'film'...and the question is 'which film star would you want to resemble and why?' Just an added fun element to the book. This is a good way for me to know people better- to study pictures and figure out who people are! :-)

Two of my favorite things: bunnies and the Packers

2007-10-03T06:54:00.000-07:00

This bunny loves the Packers! His one ear up is him giving the 'bird' to the Vikings. What a cutie.

Don't know whose bun this is, but I found it on cute overload.

List of things I've learned

2007-10-02T00:55:00.000-07:00

Some things I've come to realize over the past week:

1. This past Sunday I missed another milestone in historic American culture and life by living "far away" in a different country. I'm of course talking about Brett Favre's 421st and 422nd touchdown passes, making him the all time leader in TD passes in the NFL. I will always be a Wisconsinite-- if there's one thing I always miss, it is the fall in Wisconsin, and the Packers football season and watching Brett Favre play.

2. I am very clumsy and should not be left unattended for my own safety. This past weekend I slipped and fell backwards while trying catch little Bram before he ran under the bed. Well I fell backwards and hit my back on the corner of the bed frame. Now I have a sore back and a red and purple wound to show for it.

3. I am not a hindrance to my basketball team as I once feared/thought. Although I could not play in the first game of the new season this past Sunday, I did go to watch and 'support' them. They really could have used my help, especially with rebounding and boxing out. At least now I can tell myself that every mistake I make is not the end of the world, as they are not perfect either. For me, it was important to make as few mistakes as possible, as that way they can see that I'm serious...since we haven't all communicated a whole lot otherwise. I don't want them to think that I am dumb and slow, since that may be the impression they get of me since I don't speak Dutch.

4. There are a lot of "love migrants" in the Netherlands. Of course that is due to my situation as well and the situations I am in that leads me to meet these people (just as I met and associated with students 6 years ago). My language class consists of roughly 15 people, but several of the girls in there have come for partners. Also, some people at my job too. I met the first foreign guy to come for a Dutch girl here as well. you don't see that as often.

5. Love migrants will take whatever job is offered to them. Of these people I've met, I think a lot of them are under-employed. People would rather be with their partner than have a job that they are educated for or enjoy. I am not the only one!

6. Don't expect anything at work. That way I will be more surprised when something actually does happen. Surprised both good and bad. Good when I actually get a drawer or am told where the printer is. Bad when I have to train new people when no one ever asked or told/warned me to begin with, while my supervisor does nothing.

7. There are still people out there (my age) who still don't know how to use google maps or copy and paste shortcuts on Windows. This is amazing to me.

8. Despite my recent swing to a more cynical and negative mentality, apparently I'm still considered a 'sociable' person. Why else would the new people be put with me to train on things, and not with others who can't really communicate on a personal level....because I'm friendly. At least initially! ;-)

9. I will never understand nor get over how I think it is rude that the majority of Dutch people never say 'excuse me', but instead just run/bump into me (in a store, on the street, on the bus) and move on, or try to throw an apple away in the train when my knee is in the way. Instead of saying, 'excuse me', they still just open the container with my knee still there. Pardon me for having my knee in the way of your freedom. Just speak up and I will gladly move my knee.

10. Why don't people get out of the way of opened doors on the train or metro to let the people inside get out first? The NL is full of educated people and they have lived with public transport for a long long time. Yet they still don't understand that you gotta clear out of the doorway to let people out. You will get in faster if you get out of my way and not try to push your way in before I get out. I will start to push back.

11. You cannot resist change. It will always happen. I can resist going to my job. I will still end up going. I can resist wanting to learn Dutch. It will still happen, and I will learn it (note: I am no longer resisting it as I once did). I can try and resist biking in the rain. It will usually end up raining. I can try to resist growing up. I can reminisce about the past and how wonderful and satisfied I was with my life then. But I can't keep looking back to the past, I have to (try to) live in the present and look forward to the future, that it will be just as great and satisfying, just not in the same way (with different people, in a different place, and different circumstances).

more dutch bureaucracy

2007-09-25T03:25:00.000-07:00

The eternal dreary rainy weather here is getting to me lately...actually, I don't think its entirely that. Probably not that at all (ok, maybe 10%).

It's my job. It makes me very unhappy. There are several things as to why it makes me unhappy, but since this blog is public, I don't need to go into detail.

Since I started on Sept 3rd, everything else has sort of jumped into motion as well. The language classes started, and are two days a week for 3 hours. Yesterday I did not get home until 1030. every monday will be like that, gone from 7am-1030pm. Wednesday are even worse, I won't get home until 1130pm or later, because of basketball practice. On the one hand, yes, its good to be busy and involved and investing in myself (learning a language, exercising, and being around people). But on the other hand, I get over stressed easily by my lack of time for myself, to relax. Yes, exercise would help with stress relief, however since my ankle was injured, I can't exercise. And basketball is only once a week for about an hour (and a game on the weekend). My gym membership ended Sept 3rd as well...so no more lifting weights for me (my arms were getting muscular!)

I know that I am not the only one like this, and this is just a matter of adjusting to a new schedule. I need to find a balance. If I had a job I enjoyed going to, I'm sure my days would be more easy going though.

To make matters more interesting, M's PhD work is coming along...however the HR at the university seems to think that his contract ends THIS december of 2007, not 08, as was planned and verbally agreed to.... so he might not even get his PhD after all this work!!

His original contract 3 yrs ago states that after 1 year, after an evaluation meeting, it would be decided to keep the 3 yr contract or extend it one year more to make it a 4 yr contract. the original reason for the 3 year back in 2004 was in case he was going to come to the US ...and he could get done with it faster. So after one year, it was verbally agreed upon that it was a 4 yr contract, but apparently no one in charge put it in writing for the HR people. His salary stayed on the tract of a 4 yr contract, so he assumed it was a 4 yr. In the mean time, the new Dean of the school made a rule that no phd contracts could be extended. period. so now, when M is trying to figure out where the problem is and simply just stay on for another year to finish it as was the plan the whole time, everyone seems to be on his side and say this is ridiculous...except for the Dean and the HR people under him. So, technically, as of now, his contract ends on Dec 1st, 2007. That means he will not have a job, and most importantly, not have a PhD after all of his hard work. How can they just be so inflexible and uncaring!? This isn't just a job, its a doctorate degree. In discussions with advisors of the geography department, they gave him their word that they would work something out, but what that is, they are not sure yet. there are a few options, including having him enroll in a different university to finish his work. so, he may get his degree from a different institution.

And not only does it affect his education, his job/career, but also my legal status here. He had papers signed and given to the IND that stated he had a more than a one year contract. The university signed papers that he had a contract til 2008; now they state that those papers hold no legal power (say what?). So They seemed to know and believe that the contract was 4 years...until now suddenly. Also, similar papers needed to be signed in order for us to get the apartment we have, also stated til 2008. But apparently HR doesn't really pay attention very well and signs documents that are legal until a time comes when they contradict themselves. So, when my time comes around in Feb to renew my residence permit, hopefully he has a 1 yr contract somewhere---whether a university or a 'regular job'. Or...i don't know what will happen.

Obviously there are people working in the university system that only care about money, when one would think they are an institution that cares about their students' personal development and growth, and expanding social research and understanding in the scientific environment. Plus, they get their name out there. (Oh, yeah, they also get money too...24,000 euros for each PhD student that graduates from there....there's an incentive to keep students on!).

does sound confusing? i bet it does! i'm confused too!

More word later today on what may happen. The geography board is meeting today and this will be one of their topics, i'm sure.

Breathing fire

2007-09-17T01:50:00.001-07:00

fire blowing
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

The air is crisp, my bones are creaking (attribute that to sprained ankles)...fall has arrived in the netherlands. although, summer never really made an appearance, except for maybe in april. it was a constant summer of cool, cloudy days, and rain. it hardly ever got over 75 degress F. Really quite sad and depressing.

My ankle has improved, its still purple and still hurts some, but I can walk normally again. I wear a brace all day, its still quite unstable. i don't think jogging/running/basketball is an option yet. I can ride my bike fine, just not put too much pressure on my foot when starting to pedal.

Integration classes started last week- the level i was put it is 3-4, 4 being the highest level. its a bit too hard for me, and i was quite stressed and upset on monday when i entered the class, almost everyone knew everyone else from the spring before, and they are all speaking in dutch. and i can't speak much at all...i would like to be in level 2-3, and that may happen after this week. the text we read and had to answer questions on this week was extremely technical- the scientific discoveries and contributions of Huygens. Hello, I don't even understand physics and pendulum movement in English. I get extremely frustrated very easily, and I sort of shutdown. I don't want to be stressed out and nervous and always behind...especially when I have to spend 2 nights a week doing this. It affects my relationship, my sleeping patterns, and my entire life and attitude. If I am to learn Dutch, i would like to go down a level, get a better foundation of vocab and grammar on which to build upon. So, by wednesday I will decide, I'm pretty much set on going to a different class. Too bad, because my teacher is really very nice and encouraging. She's probably the nicest Dutch woman I've ever met. seriously. That's saying a lot.

So, this past Saturday I went to the coolest party I've ever gone to in my life! And funny enough, I was the one to get the invitation to it...and I hardly know anyone here! One of the girls I worked at the hostel with, lives in this 'huge' (for dutch standards) old mansion just outside of the city of utrecht....with like 12 or 20 other people (i got conflicting reports on how many people live here). Its a shared living house, so its not your typical type of people who want to be "married by 28, own your house, kids by 30" type of people (the typical american life course). Apparently, every year they throw a huge party with a different theme, and a few hundred people show up. This year it was Carnivale, based on the american tv series on HBO (I've never seen it). Seriously, it was so surreal, I felt like i was in a dream sequence of a movie. This party was part carnivale, part haunted house, part freak show. They had lights and tents outside in the back. They had a stand of people making and selling crepes. Little kids dressed up were walking around selling lollipops. They had a terot card reader and fortune teller. Bands were playing inside and out. There was a line at the 'box office' to get in - it was 5euros entrance and drinks were about 1 euro each. The band inside when we got there was from the UK! They were old and had dreads and beards and looked like a cross between Sargent Pepper's lonley hearts club band and old british sailors or something strange. there was a TREE in the living room area where the band was playing ....they cut down a tree and put it in there!! The bathroom was an entertaining adventure as well...a paper-maiche head was hanging by a rope and pulley and when you opened and closed the door, it would go up and down...and stared at you while you were on the john. Outside there were tents and bonfires in oil barrels ..mostly everyone was dressed up in some sort of carnivale/freakshow type garb. Unfortunately, I do not carry 30's/40's era- freak show clothes in my wardrobe...but I had a nice hat on.

At 1 am there was a 'procession'....they put the crazy british band up on a wooden cart, 5 people pulled it as if they were horses, and everyone had candles and torches and we walked towards the back of the property --following the fire blowers and torches. I couldn't see what happened from there, but I heard that 3 people were baptised. After that there was a huge "lightning" display...you know those electricity balls...at the science museum...but this was huge and spewing lighting like 3 yards out from the ball! there was someone on stilts. There was a guy hanging from a rope from the roof doing acrobatic movements while hanging upside down. It was absolutely a surreal, colorful dream that I was living! I left at 230, but could have stayed much longer...simply amazing.

Side-lined

2007-09-10T01:39:00.000-07:00

Well, to further complicate problems...Saturday I was to play in a pre-season tournament with the women's basketball team I am joining. It was from 9am-2pm. Our first game was around 930 or so. I played for maybe 8 minutes, came out, then subbed back in. But that only lasted a minute...somehow, when I was trying to defend someone under their basket...I either turned too fast or stepped on someone's foot...but my ankle buckled out from under me and I hear it pop as I was on my way down. I sprained it pretty badly. Luckily some girls helped me to the locker room rather quickly and put it under the cold water faucet in the locker room. And I got some ice after awhile too. It was pretty painful. The same thing happened to me about 3 yrs ago when I was playing just a pickup game at the gym at OU..but with my left foot. It was bound to happen sooner or later I suppose with this foot. But why now!!!?? When it finally matters to be playing. This tournament was for the team selections. Obviously I'm on the 2nd team and that's ok..but I was wanting to play on Saturday! And, here I am, calling in sick on my second week of work, I feel like a complete schmuck. Instead of trying to fit in smoothly on the team, I stand out even more by my clumsy body. I practiced with this team 6 times already, played all spring with M's team, played a few times in the park in the summer...nothing happened. Now finally when I have a real team to play with, a job I need to go to...I injury myself. Sometimes I wonder if i wished this upon myself, by hoping it wouldn't happen.

So, instead of a weekend when I actually had plans and several things to go to and do...I had to stay home and sit on my butt all weekend. Saturday was not good- it was painful and I couldn't do anything. i decided not to go to the ER because apparently in Holland, the doctors don't do much of anything. They could take an x-ray, but i know it wasn't broken because it wasn't that sort of excruciating pain and I could still move my toes. Luckily M rented some crutches at a store nearby...and bought a brace so i can sort of stabilize it myself. At the hospital, they would only tape it up at most, and I could do that myself. 3 years ago, with my other foot, they put it in a cast and after a week i had a boot I could walk on it with. Here, they believe in the body healing itself apparently....So here I am, on the couch. Its still pretty swollen, and I don't have much movement, but I can put a little bit of weight on it at least now. I think commuting on the trains here with crutches is going to be a b*tch. I definitely cannot ride my bike yet. I will try to take the bus tomorrow.

So typical....

I feel like a jerk for taking off already--mostly because my boss doesn't know me and my usual work ethic...I don't want to give such a poor impression when I first start.

In any case, I won't be playing basketball for a few weeks probably. Very disappointing.

Working woman

2007-09-09T02:33:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been a very busy week, thus no time for updates. I started my new job last Monday. The job is ok, but it is only production. I spend the entire day staring at the computer, researching if changes people submitted are valid (blocked roads, directions of the street, name changes, or points of interest like gas stations/stores/doctors/pubs, etc). This involves constant use of Google maps, Google Earth, Mapquest, Yahoo maps, and internet searches for a pub or a street name or for construction updates....its a long day doing only that. I look only at the UK submissions. Other people do other countries. It is a bit of a challenge trying to look on Google Earth to decipher which way the road is going, since they drive on the opposite side of the road as almost everyone else in this world! If the satellite images are good enough, you can make out the cars and sometimes there are arrows painted on the road and yield signs, so you can see which way they are going. I think i have a fairly good background in photo/air interpretation...and just using common sense and my geographical mentality, I can figure things out a bit better than the others perhaps...or they just have to learn how to do it, and then they'll be fine too. I just takes practice. Also, my previous job experience dealing with naming and classifying road systems helps me too to some respect. But really, this job is not geography- specific. you don't need a college degree for this work. and i think that most of the other 'worker bees' don't have a college degree. So it is a bit mind numbing...i wonder how long i can handle it! but, its money, i'm not at home alone, and its something for my resume, even if it is a step backwards, its not an empty hole. Hopefully, if i can learn dutch this year, in some time I can apply for other jobs where i can think and use my brain and use GIS as a tool. Not just 'factory work' in front of a computer.

Its kind of a weird place- i have a table as a desk. there are no drawers or anything, so i have no where to put anything. its all open, no cubicles, so there's no privacy. i don't have a phone yet. i also don't have any connection to a printer, and no one will help find one, or even show us where the printer is. the girl next to me is new too, she's from Israel originally, but has been living in Europe for 7 years now. she thinks its odd too. i think the issue is that the company is just expanding so quickly (a good thing- huge growth!), they can't keep up with the office changes. to me, with my experience of endless cubes but in precise pods of 6 cubes each at the Census...this is kinda chaotic. Since its all open, there are people who sit behind me , and i don't even know who they are. they were never introduced to me...and they don't introduce themselves. perhaps i should do so this week-- but is that too bold or overly 'friendly American'? there are also a group of 4 who sit between me and the window...there apparently are not any conference rooms available because they stand there the entire day, every day and talk - loudly-- about something that sounds so important and urgent but i can never quite follow what they are doing, even though they are speaking in english. who knows, but its very urgent by the seriousness in their voices.

On Tuesday, we had a little section meeting, but since no conference rooms were available, they booked a small conference room in the NH hotel next door to our building. That was kinda funny to me.

Commuting is an interesting thing too. I have to bike about 15 minutes to the station and lock my bike in a mad-cluster of hundreds of bikes. I am lucky if i even find an open spot to jam my bike in at a bike rack at 745am.

The train to Amsterdam leaves every 15 minutes: at 55, 10,25, and 40 after the hour. Once on the train, it is 20 minutes to Amsterdam Amstel station, the one before central. From there I take the metro about 5 minutes to the Waterlooplein exit. This is the stop I got out at back when I lived in Amsterdam in 2003-2004. So I know the area well. Its a big touristy section, since everyday there is a flea market there...for clothes and alternative things. Then I walk about 7 minutes to the Rembrandtplein, where my office is in a corner of the square, nestled in between dance clubs and cafes. Its such a good location, because at lunch time I can have so many possibilities for food (if I had money to do that)...but its so strange looking out a first floor meeting room window, and seeing signs for bars and cafes and advertisements for underwear. But the view from the 6th floor, where I sit, is wonderful. Someday I will have to bring my camera in- the view of the church steeples and old Amsterdam canal houses- wonderful.

Oh, anyways, about commuting...the 755 and 810 trains are so jam packed full of people...usually I have to stand in the doorway area, not in the actual seats. People are not very polite here, instead of standing to the sides of the doors to let people out first and then go in, they all crowd the doors, leaving only enough space for the people inside to come out in a single file. then once they are out, its take your life into your own hands and people rush inside, to find the 2 seats left open. On Tuesday I got there with about 30 seconds to spare, but the three cars I tried to get in, every single entrance was packed, there wasn't even enough space for me to squeeze in. So i had to stand there and watch it drive away with out me. That is the most annoying thing- to watch your train pull away with out you and you have to wait another 15 minutes. And usually I'm quite sweaty already, because of riding my bike there, and sometimes i jog/run to the train b/c i want to make that train. I'm going to try to get the 740 or 725 train because they are less full. it is quite interesting how much a difference 30 minutes earlier makes.

So starting this monday and wednesday i am taking the 'Integration Course', as I am obliged to take by the city of Utrecht. I signed a contract that I would attend, and they pay for all the costs. This is a pretty good deal- except that it meets on the one night in the week when i have basketball practice (wednesday). That is still being debated, on what will happen with that. I was really disappointed when i found out that this evening could not be changed, as playing and participating in a club team with dutch women is about the highest level of integration you can get....instead of sitting in a room with other foreigners learning about the world outside that you should be 'fitting in' to. everyone seems interested in what i will be taught in these classes-- aspects of dutch culture that the city or country finds important, but the average Dutchie might not even know (the words to all 15 verses of their national anthem for example)...or things that really aren't 'that' important. Of course, this will be my outlet for telling the world the important things I learn.

Last day, on to the next

2007-09-02T11:35:00.000-07:00

Thursday was my last day working at Strowis (the youth hostel). It was the busiest day of the entire year. How fitting that it was my last day. A large group of about 20 youth left on that day, as well as a large percentage of the other guests. Which means that a lot of the beds needed to be changed and the rooms be totally cleaned after the mess left behind from a group that stayed there a long time. Usually the rooms are cleaned and done before 3pm. Today the first floor wasn't even started til 330 when I got there. Usually I would stay for my 4 hour shift, but often on Thursdays I stay a bit longer and sometimes have dinner there. I was there til almost 930pm..it was busy the entire time. It was a bit strange to think that was my last time there to work. But I enjoyed working there for the last 5 months. I wish I would have been able to have a bit more contact with the guests, like talking more to them...but it also depends on the guest themselves....some individuals are more likely to talk since they are traveling alone. Those that are more comfortable with English also talk more. The Italians and Spanish that filled the hostel in august purely to smoke weed, obviously did not talk much...due to their poor English... and being stoned. I worked with some interesting people, I learned how to make cappuccino, and I helped the continued success of a tourism business in Utrecht. I also spent my time with other people for several hours a week, instead of being alone in my apartment the whole time.

Friday night I went back already, but this time for a party- it was the 9th anniversary of the opening of Strowis. They had drinks and snacks, and a lot of the people involved in getting the place up and running returned for a good time. The party was held in the common area on the first floor, so guests were also there taking part too.

I plan on going back to stop in and visit and drink a tea every now and then. Strowis is a part of my Utrecht experience. I started my time here in Utrecht 5 years ago there...its still part of me.

Tomorrow I begin my first paying job in the Netherlands..and the first paying job in over 6 months. I'm sure it will be an exhausting week getting back to a routine.

little baby bunny

2007-09-01T13:50:00.001-07:00

little baby bunny
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

we have added a third bunny to the family! on tuesday night we went to eindhoven to go meet his mommy and bunny family and bring him home with us. he is really tiny, only 10 or 11 weeks old. and his ears are huge for his little head. he likes to hop around and stand on his hind legs. he also likes to pee on me. he's done it twice already in the first two days. i'm very cautious about holding him now! he's in his own cage now, but we hope to eventually bond him with rosie and japie in the coming months so they can all cuddle together. but for now, rosie, the 'royal highness', is very spastic and any time the little one hops by her cage she goes crazy. this upsets japie, and he goes towards her, but she assumes this is him going to attack her, so they end up chasing each other in circles and fighting in their cage....just because of a little bunny. he on the other hand, is quite calm and very socialable. he came from a very nice bunny family and loving human family. i felt a bit sad when leaving his former family's house, separating him from his parents and brothers and his human mom. but i hope he will be just as happy with us here.

and most imporantly, his name...we haven't named him yet. we can't decide between 2 names...but we just keep calling him 'little one' or 'kleintje' or 'stampertje' (his daddy's name)....we can't decide between Hazel (the leader in the story 'watership down') or Bram (and call him brammy or brammertje). Bram seems more fitting to me. I also liked the name Bongo, but someone else doesn't.

baby bunny

2007-08-27T04:48:00.001-07:00

baby
Originally uploaded by mireille schoone.

We are strongly considering adding this baby to our family. isn't he adorable!??!!!!

His name is Yang (as in ying-yang)...and he lives in Eindhoven. His human-slave mommy is in a bunny group I'm in on Flickr. The two bunny parents, Stampertje and Moenie, are so cute as well...and recently had 5 little ones. LIttle Yang is looking for a home! He might be joining our family this week.

For TONS of great photos of this bunny family, go to (she is a great photographer!):

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mireilleschoone/

Do you think Rosie and Japie would like a new little friend?

all in a day's work

2007-08-25T07:22:00.001-07:00

making some coffee
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

working hard at strowis....about 3 weeks ago, some pictures were taken of me doing my volunteer work, and they'll be used on a volunteer website in utrecht. so, some of my activities include making a cup of coffee or capuccino.

Everybody hurts...

2007-08-23T05:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I experienced a part of Dutch society that I have been lucky enough to not experience til now- a funeral. The father of M's brother's girlfriend died last Friday. Yesterday was the funeral in Nijmegen. As the death was sudden and unexpected, it was quite sad. I only met him once, about 2 months ago for a BBQ at their house. He seemed like a friendly and nice guy. He enjoyed drinking chestnut liquor and teasing his kids.

I've only been to 3 funerals in the US luckily, and all three had wakes and a church service funeral. Here, it is not related to the church. Its in a specific building/complex for funerals- a crematorium. There were probably 250-300 people there, and not enough seating room, so over 100 people were standing. I was one of them. A person would talk for a bit or read a poem, and then they would play a song, usually contemporary. the three children each said something, and three others talked as well. It was about an hour long. At the end, we were to walk by the (closed) casket, and since M and I were at the end of the row of people standing up, we were led to the front first. I thought that was a bit awkward and strange, since I didn't really know what to do! I am sad that his life ended early, but I am more sad for those he left behind and how much they will miss him. I'm already a very emotional person, but a funeral is even worse! I hardly knew this man, and I couldn't understand everything being said, but I knew it was very sad.

After that, they lead you to the condolence area where there is tea or coffee and slices of pound cake to eat. That is typically Dutch I'm told. Also, many people dressed rather informally, I was quite surprised at how some people wore jeans or tight pants or bright shirts (white or red), or shorter skirts. They also asked for a round of applause for him at the end, which I thought was rather unnecessary and weird at a funeral- by being there we are already paying our respects and honoring his life. I guess things are different here. I hope I don't have to experience such things very often, as it is very emotionally draining and quite sad. Like I said, I've been lucky enough so far, but as I get older, others get older too, and (bad) health happens.

vacation is over! i got a job!

2007-08-20T04:48:00.000-07:00

Well, a lot has happened in my life this past week. I was too busy to write about it until now! Last week Tues I got my residence permit/work permit. This is in the form of an ID card. I have been spending the last 6 months looking at the jobs available for english speakers in the netherlands. here are some job agencies that specialize in 'multilinguals', those people who don't speak dutch as a native language. On Tuesday I sent my CV in to a work agency in amsterdam, for a job in at company called TomTom. TomTom makes navigational products for automobiles/bikes. they are a dutch company and their HQ are in amsterdam. they operate in english because they are so international. they are the leader in navigational products in europe. they have a new software program that allows its users (potentially the 10 million customers they already have) to update the maps and make changes, if the maps tomtom has are not current/correct. the job i applied to would be to then check this material that is sent in to tomtom if it is valid or not. I applied on Tues, was called on Wed, had an interview on Thursday morning, and was offered the job at the end of the interview! I was so surprised at how fast this all went. It may be only a production job at this point, but it could develop to more. But at least this is a job where I can earn some money, and work in an international company that is doing very well and is the leader in the market for this product...and i can work at a job that is in my field of geography. unbelievable how fast it all went--i was only on the job market for 2 days really! i was quite discouraged the week before, that it would take some time to get a job, but amazingly this one appeared. good timing and luck. i am sure there are opportunities to move around or move up in the company...we shall see how it goes!

So I was offered a 1 yr contract directly from the company itself, not the job agency. I will start on Sept 3rd. Its about an hour to commute, one way, which i will do by either bike/bus, train, and metro. About the same amt of time as it was to commute for me in DC the last 2 yrs.

So, just as I was really getting used to being a 'house wife' and doing the shopping and errands...now i will have to re-adjust my body clock and frame of mind, as adjusting to a full time job will be a bit tiring at first!

And as I look back on the previous 6 months, I can't believe how fast the time has gone. what have i done with the time? i wish i would have read more books and maybe gone for more bike rides...but that just didn't happen. Maybe now that I will sit in the train for 20 min/day, i will be able to read some. I guess the more time you have available, the less you get done b/c you can always say 'ohh i'll do that later'...now that time has come to an end. at least we will have some money now for our wedding and to pay for travel and to pay off our school loans.

so i gotta spend the next 2 wks enjoying myself and my final days of 'freedom'! summer vacation is over!

In integration news this week...

2007-08-14T11:41:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I took my placement test for the dutch language classes. It was five parts. First a general one, to see my initial understanding...the 2nd one was nothing to do with language. It was a sort of patterns test, both with numbers and letters, then shapes and putting things into like categories. It was like I was in elementary school again! It was fun...and I finished in like 5 minutes (first out of the 4 others). Then I had a speaking test, where a cassette tape spoke the situation and then asks 'what would you say?', and I have to say what I would do/ask in that situation..and a 2nd cassette recorder recorded my voice. Since I placed higher from the first test, they gave me the more advanced speaking test. So that was too much for me, and i really didn't know what to say. Sometimes, I didn't say anything and the time I had to answer it was totally silent. Then I asked to take the next lower level test, in reading and listening. I know it doesn't matter how I do, since this just places me somewhere. But I think that is sort of hard to do in a way, when over half the questions are multiple choice. One thing I did learn in the US education system was how to answer multiple choice question by process of elimination and deducting answers. I might not know the word for word question, but I can generally guess well. Maybe this shows I'm intelligent, but doesn't show a lot of my fluency in Dutch...by guessing answers.

Today I went to go pick up the actual ID card, the residence permit. The most expensive ID card money can buy. I went at 930 just to make sure I had a bit of extra time before I had to go to the hostel by 11. Luckily only one person was ahead of me, he walked in when I did. His went smoothly. I just had a feeling that something would go wrong...how could I be this close to getting the card...the IND wouldn't just hand it over to me without a fight would it?

Sure enough, the woman said that in the computer system it said I had two cards, the old one and this new one. The 'old one' being from 2002 when I was a student....the card I never received because I left Holland before I was able to get it even. So there was no way I could have the old one. And who in their right mind holds on to such a card for over 5 years anyways when its not needed for life in the US?

I told her I never got this card. The IND should know that, because I would have to sign for it, and I never signed for it. She said I had to go to the police station and get a letter from someone there stating that I do not have an old card. Then bring it back to her and she can give me the new one. Even thought it is sitting right there in front of her. I'm not used to putting up a fight/argument with city workers here because I feel I will never win, they hardly bend on their rules. But I said that was ridiculous...why should I do that when I never got a card to begin with. Plus i was sent this letter to say I could pick up my card today, so that is what i'm here to do.

I didn't have time to go to the police. I could picture it already- I go there, no one knows what the F i'm talking about, or what desk I should go to or who to talk to. I would get no where. Just waiting more time, when she could just give me the dang card.

Luckily she was nice and decided to just give it to me. So I signed a paper and got the card. Now I am truly certified to work in the Netherlands, and able to be insured under M's plan.

When I left, there were 5 people behind me waiting. Just think- I can go through this all over again in 6 months. My card is only valid for one year...from the date of application! I have to get a new card, pay more money, and wait again (not as long and not as much money)...on my March 2nd application date. I will have to take a picture to show how this expensive card looks and post it on here!

News in the hostel world...

2007-08-11T03:20:00.000-07:00

Well, its been an interesting week at the hostel for me. first, adjusting to being back at 'work' after 2 weeks off...i did a lot of cleaning on Tuesday, which was fine with me, just that i get really sweaty! :-( Thursday I did my first shift of doing the reception desk alone. That means dealing with letting people in, checking people in, answering the phone, and managing the 'bar' area. And both days the place was fully booked, so I was really busy on Thursday ...all by myself. The phone always seems to ring when there's 2 separate groups of people I need to check in! But I think it went well overall, considering it could have been much worse!

But some out of the ordinary things this week- Tuesday I had some pictures taken of me doing things like mopping/cleaning the mirrors/making coffee/folding laundry, because a dutch website on the general aspects of being a volunteer needed more pics for their website. they hired a free lance photographer to take these pics, and he happened to be a house-mate of one of the guys working at the hostel (the photographer is also a board member). so that was interesting. I'm sure i just look super with my hair pulled back and my face shiny after sweating so profusely!!

Also, some good finds on Thursday when I cleaned for about an hour. Some people left behind some magazines--so I have 3 English language magazines to read. I also found a bag of weed! I offered to my co-worker, but she said she doesn't smoke, and that I should keep it. Well, considering I don't even know how to roll a cigarette...I'll just hold on to it til we find someone who does smoke it. For now its just sitting here...and it will probably just sit here for awhile. Its a nice centerpiece.

The next waiting game

2007-08-07T23:56:00.000-07:00

Now that I have a valid residence/work permit coming my way (I still have to pick it up whenever they tell me to), finding a job is the next major hurdle. Of course I've spent the last 5 months looking for jobs here, some of which i wish I could applied for...and some I did apply for, but got turned down up front b/c I didn't have a work permit. I've also spent the last year looking at the job market here on job placement websites...so I sort of know how it will go. The majority of jobs that foreign English speaking people get placed in are call center jobs. I refuse to do that! Its too stressful and I probably wouldn't last more than a month. There are a lot of big name international companies with HQ or offices in the NL, but I am not a: economist, financial analyst, accountant, IT, marketing analyst, HR specialist, graphic designer...etc etc. I guess that doesn't leave a lot I am qualified to do!

Right away on Monday I began my quest. I went to Undutchables, a job recruitment agency for foreigners, to talk to someone about what I can do to find a job. I went to Manpower and Randstad, but they both don't deal with English-speaking jobs! they didn't even take my CV. I went to another place but they also don't have much for English-speakers. I think the market is flooded with job placement agencies here in Holland. One street alone where I went to Randstad...is just basically a street with job placement offices! There were even two offices of the same company!

So I will spend my days still scrounging for jobs. I still have my volunteer job which I went back to yesterday. But it just reminded me how much I would like to have a job-- a paying job, and one where I can go to and be able to communicate to others about the job. I never fully understand everything they say during the change of shift things, even if they are just joking about something...i really just want to be included on things. I hope I can soon be included in the Dutch job market.

Op Vakantie

2007-08-06T01:49:00.000-07:00

Well, one of the things you learn in Dutch vocabulary rather early on is the word for 'vacation'. Vacation is very important in dutch society, and as its now the school summer break, many dutchies are "op vakantie". It is the summer right-of-passage, and a very important part of Dutch culture. 'Ga jij op vakantie?' is the question in early summer. They live for vacation! Whether the warm temps and waters of Spain, or the mountains of Switzerland/France/Austria...any country that is different than the flat, rainy, mild temperatured Holland.

The Dutch enjoy many more paid vacation days at their jobs than in the USA...I'd say at least a 3 week average. Or on the high end you could get 43 holiday days a year (like the person I live with!....however that includes the gov't holidays and the 12 days extra he gets for working 40hrs/wk on a 38 hr/wk contract).

So, we did as any other Dutch couple would do- get outta town and go op vakantie. Due to the fact that we are living in a one-income household currently, we could not do something a bit more elaborate, such as go to Norway, as we have been wishing to do in recent years....but we did something still just as fun. We went by train to southern Germany and went camping!

We left the 18th, and spent 9 nights at the Campingplatz Tennsee, a camping place in the middle of tiny towns by the names of Klais and Krun. This was all within a few miles of the border of Austria. The nearest real 'town' is Mittenwald. I believe this area's only hope in their local economy is tourism- summer camping/hiking/holiday apartments, and in winter its skiing. It was such a beautiful area, the 2nd highest mountain peak in Germany was nearby, the Karwendel. The first thing we saw when exiting our tent in the morning was Karwendel. And the Tennsee (Tenn lake) was really more of a pond. Every night at dusk for about 3 hours, you could hear the hundreds of frogs/toads and crickets chirping and singing a melody to put you to sleep. (Or in M's case, since he hates frogs, he had bad dreams the first night thinking they were in the tent and he was trying to swat them away! haha!!).

The first day we took a cable car to the top of the mountain, over 2400 meters up. And we decided to hike down, even though it is easier to hike up a mountain than going down. It took several hours, as the first half is all loose rock, it was very slippery and dangerous! Quite a challenge. My legs muscles ached for days afterwards, it was difficult for me to even walk up/down steps after that b/c of my calves/quads/hamstrings. And the blisters on my toes and feet---I had problems with that all 2 weeks, my hiking boots were probably a size too small (you should buy one size larger than your normal shoe size apparently). It was quite painful to walk most of the time. I bandaged them and taped them up, which helped some in preventing more, but didn't help those already there. My feet are in pretty bad shape now.

The second day we hiked up another small mountain over 1100 meters, and around in our area. Saturday we went to Innsbruck, Austria by train, as it was only 1 hour away. Its a nice city in the valley between some large mountains. Sunday we hiked some more to Mittenwald and in gorge walking trail outside of Mittenwald. On this train we crossed the border into Austria.

Monday was supposed to be a 'break' for my feet...we were going to take the train/bus to Vils, Austria, then try to catch a bus to Fuessen, Germany, about 6 km away. This is where the castle Neuschwanstein is located, the fairy tale castle of Mad Kind Ludwig that was built in the 1800s and which Disney based their castle on. Well, the bus was over an hour wait, if it actually came that is...and we were told it was only 4km to Austria.

So we walked to Austria.

It took over an hour...and was probably more like 6 km to the city center. And by this time, the painful feet I had, I was stubborn and wanted to actually see Neuschwanstein again (I saw it in 1998) since we had already walked this far. But it was another 3km to walk. Oh the stubbornness that ensued (on my behalf). But through the heat and the blisters and the pain...we saw it. And 1/2 hour later we had to get on the bus back to Fuessen, to make sure we could get a bus that would take us back to Garmisch-Partenkirchen (where we could get the train to Klais and then walk another 25 min to our campsite). Just barely, it all worked out. Neuschwanstein is one of the most visited tourist destinations in Germany. Its fricken crazy there, and the busses don't leave when they should, so we almost didn't make our connection in Fuessen.

But we saw the castle!!

Tuesday and Wednesday we did actually rest my feet...because we biked. We rented mountain bikes on Tues from our campsite...they were a bit too small for us, they were made for teenagers. Imagine 6'7" M riding a small framed bike. With a 7kg backpack. It rained all day, pretty heavy at times. But it was beautiful ride. Wednesday was much better weather, we got better 'touring' bikes from a place in nearby Krun. We biked probably 60 km that day, up to the Walchensee (lake) - it was 24 km around it. It was such beautiful blue-green water,due to the mineral content in the water!!...unfortunately it wasn't as warm as Caribbean waters!

Thursday we went on a hike organized by the town tourism office of Krun. It was to the Hoellental. This means valley of hell. It is a narrow gorge you walk through (thru tunnels and walkways they installed along the wall/edge)...and it is one of the ways leading to the Zugspitze. It was really a neat hike, very enjoyable and scenic. Sometimes we were really near to the edge, a bit scary. However my feet were in so much pain the way down. Ouch.

Friday we made our way by train to Esslingen. We transferred several times, because we got a cheap ticket. But for 3 hrs we were in Munich. We had time to walk around a bit, and to eat lunch at the Hofbrau Haus. That was yummy. We met up with my host parents from 1998 and stayed with them for 3 nights in Esslingen. It was nice to see them again, and to sleep in my old room looking out to the city center, and drink wine with dinner on their balcony. Monday through Wednesday we were with my friend Anna-Lena (who was in the high school class there). We visited the city of Konstanz, which is on the Bodensee (Lake Constance) in southern Germany. We crossed the border to Switzerland by foot here!

Overall, it was a very nice time and a nice trip. I wouldn't mind going back there again. My Germany language skills slowly came back to me, as the first week I was totally confused in my head between Dutch and German. I wanted to say more dutch words than German, now i'm back to more German than dutch. Camping was enjoyable, but this camping place had mostly small RV's/camper vehicles. There were probably 40% Dutch people staying there. You could tell the difference between the children...the Dutch children were louder and more obnoxious than the German kids.

Things I like about Bavaria/Baden-Wuerttemburg: scenery, lederhosen, Fachwerk, little chapels in tiny corners of alleyways or along regular streets, bells on goats/sheep/cows so that you can hear them all the time, chocolate croissants, bakeries, kuchen (cake/tortes), WINE, sunshine.

The Germans have a stereotype of Dutchies in their heads...that they all drive with their caravans (campers) in the left lane of the Autobahns at 40 km/hr slower than everyone else...in mass exodus to southern Germany. Considering the number of campers that were in our camp site alone...and all the cars we saw on the road...I think its a pretty accurate stereotype!

For some nice photos, please check out my Flickr page:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/caclabots/sets/72157601200917965/

Fun Geography Facts:

Crossed 2 international boundaries by foot 3 times in total (Austria and Switzerland)

Hiked on the 2nd highest mountain in Germany (Karwendel)

Zero passport stamps

Sat on the shore of Lake Constance where the Rhine River begins (in this lake)

About 87 km biked (54 miles)

Unknown km hiked!

Around 1900 km travelled by train

Top speed of 300km/hr reached while on ICE train

the decision

2007-08-03T11:26:00.001-07:00

the news i've been waiting for for the last almost 5 months...the decision from the immigration dept on my application for residence within the netherlands. i returned from my vacation in germany yesterday afternoon (haven't the last 5 months been something of a 'break' anyways?), and as i had thought, it was waiting in the mailbox for me. my application was approved!! and now i have to wait to hear from the city hall as to when i should go pick up the ID card, the actual proof. i can now apply for jobs!! woo hoo!!

Check back tomorrow for a report on our trip to Deutschland and the Bavarian Alps!

anti-social-ness and garbage

2007-07-16T09:20:00.000-07:00

One thing that is very present in Dutch society is that of being a "social" person. Not in the way that an American may think social...as in going out and interacting with a lot of people and having a busy calendar full of things to do and places to go with many people. No, in the NL, "social" is more of a way you should behave and be 'normal', a way take an active part in society to make things run more smoothly. More often you hear of someone being "anti-social". The phrase, 'don't be so anti-social' is probably a quite commonly used phrase...as often as 'dank u wel' or 'alstublieft' (maybe not *that* much).

I've heard this before, referring to (funny enough), garbage collection. While I know, growing up back in the 'hood of Sheboygan, with neighbors who don't really give a crap about what day the garbage is being collected and put bags and bags of garbage out in the alley behind our house a day or two before the trash collectors were to come....that isn't the nicest of behavior. But in my own experience with my Dutchie, and from talking to other expats living in Amsterdam...its quite amusing to me, this huge importance dutchies place on timing of taking out the garbage. your whole reputation amongst your neighbors pretty much depends on it! if you put your garbage out any earlier then probably 2 hours before the collection, you are labeled as 'anti-social'. if you put it out the night before: anti-social ---this was the case of another expat I talked to. (what if you don't have time in the morning, or may forget in your mad-dash of getting ready for work? its better to put out the trash than have it pile up inside and help aid in starting an infestation of bugs or rodents!)

And in our case, we have a trash bin outside that some employee from our apt complex puts out in the morning, usually by 730am. The trash collection usually comes at around 930am. This is a pretty short window to put trash out. If you put trash outside on the curb if the bin isn't yet out if, say, the employee doesn't put the bin out before you leave or before 9am, you are anti-social.

Last week, both on Monday and Thursday when they come to collect the trash, the bins weren't out before 9...M leaves before 9. I don't get out of my pjs til after 10...(so this meant no trash was being taken out). I suggested, just put it out on the curb..that's not our problem that he forgot to put the bin out in time. I dont want bags of trash sitting on our balcony all week. 'No! That is really anti-social' was the response! 'Its not the job of the collector to pick up the bags off the curb...they are supposed to only empty the bins.' Well, to me, bags and bins, same thing...their job is to collect the trash.

But as the bins were out late twice last week, I think M changed his mind and is becoming defiant to the risk of labeling by neighbors and the trash collectors...and simply will put his trash out no matter what (you could argue that being late on putting the bins out is also anti-social!). Dutch society, pretty much as a whole, follows the rules. If you don't do what's socially accepted, someone will let you know and put you in your place. Unless of course you're an apethetic immigrant who just wants to put her trash out. A few hours off on your timing, and a plea to attend integration classes will ensue! ;-)

PS- I wrote this last week...but posting today. This morning the bin wasn't out when M left at 745. When I looked out the window at 9am , the bin was there, and the trash bag that should have gone out with M an hour earlier...was still sitting in our kitchen. So I had to take it out. Why wait for the dang bin? Just take the trash out and put it on the curb! The trash collectors are coming no matter what, so put it out there or have your kitchen smell like garbage and watch the fruit fly population soar.

New to my wallet: a library card

2007-07-15T06:54:00.000-07:00

Last week I finally made a move to further 'integrating' in Dutch society...I got a library card.

The Utrecht public library isn't really confined in one library...there's the central library in the city center, but also at least 10 'branch' libraries in the different neighborhoods. I think this is kinda dumb, since its not like Utrecht is really all that spread out and each branch is not more than probably 5 miles or less to the next place. Well, I heard that at the Overvecht library there are several books or textbooks/CDs about learning Dutch. So finally I went, to try and do something about learning Dutch.

You have to pay to join the library in the Netherlands. Here in Utrecht its 16 euros per year, plus a 2.50euro joining fee. In addition to that, all books are 25 cents to borrow for a 3 week period. CDs are more, CD-roms, videos, and other things cost different prices. While I understand that maybe some money is needed to fund the system of buying books and paying employees....I think a joining fee prevents certain people from joining...and perhaps growing up not learning to read well or enjoying to read. I think it sort of pushes out a certain sector of society.

Anyways, the good news is that the Dutch for foreigners books and CD-roms are free to borrow! that's finally a smart move by them...it encourages people to learn the language without worrying about money and having to pay all the time to take out the books. and luckily since its the summer vacation, books can be borrowed for 6 weeks. That's good because I'll be gone for the next two and won't even have time to look at them.

So, hopefully I will make myself look at these books...and hopefully I will learn something from them.

I'm excited to go to Germany, I just hope that some of the language skills i once had come back...I get so mixed up with Dutch and German in my head...but I think recently more dutch is coming to my mind/mouth than German words. that is a good sign.

Residence Permit update

2007-07-13T11:03:00.000-07:00

Well, some news on the residence permit- not what I wanted to hear though. After getting back from the gym, I was riding home, wondering if something could possibly be in the mailbox waiting for me. And to my surprise, there was actually a letter from the Ministry of Justice- the Immigration Dept. It didn't look thick with information or anything, so I was already a bit apprehensive. I went from surprise to excitement to apprehension within 5 seconds.

I opened it and immediately knew it was not the letter I wanted to get. I couldn't understand it completely, but I knew they wanted something to be sent in within 2 weeks from the dated stamp, thus my application was not approved yet. DAMN IT!!

After scanning the letter and emailing it to M, what they are requesting and saying that we did not include in our application (we must have had over 40 -50 pages of information) was that we lived at the same address. So basically this delay is not even our fault. We included both official papers from the City hall (that cost 10 euros EACH) saying that we lived at this address in Utrecht (but on two separate papers, one for each). I registered with the city the day they accepted my application and sent it on to the Immigration. Its weird that they would accept it if I wasn't even a resident at a certain address with my partner in Utrecht.

So to clarify this and make sure it gets back on track again as soon as possible (esp since we're going on a trip for 2 weeks on Wednesday!), we had to do something today. So after a quick shower and hardly a lunch, I met M at city hall at 2. There were tons of people in there waiting. The only thing I can compare the city hall here to is the DMV in the USA. A ton of people waiting around for EVER. You take a number and wait. there are several desks open, but some areas are for different issues. Luckily we were in the line for the citizen service that didn't have a long wait! Within 20 minutes we were out, and 20euros poorer. We each requested a printed out official paper with a stamp on it saying that we are registered at this address, and two people are registered at this address.

Then off to the post office to send it by registered mail so that by Monday they'll get it. We'll call and check on Tuesday, as now my particular case has an actual case number and a person assigned to it. Hopefully this does not put my application back more than 2 days. But I bet if the city had done what they were supposed to, or the IND is just trying to challenge us, I would have the RIGHT letter today- saying I could go pick up the ID card anytime. I hope the REAL letter will be there waiting for me when we get back from Germany.

This is just like all those stupid rebate 'deals' in the US-- some many times you send a rebate in and they send you a letter back saying you didn't buy the object/good in the valid period or send the right UPC thing in or the original receipt wasn't circled...or some stupid arse reason...just to discourage you and steal your money that you should be rightfully getting back. You gotta keep fighting to prove that you're right. I hear horror stories that those rebate fights go on for years. I hope this is nothing like that, although the IND has been known to have several problems like that. Just last week a 4 year old boy finally received his residence permit after 4 years (he was born here)...but with a hang up because of his mom's status (they were illegal apparently), he was never rewarded it and the IND kept putting it off.

http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2007/07/04/europe/EU-GEN-Netherlands-Immigration.php

chocolate belgian waffle!

2007-07-13T00:11:00.001-07:00

chocolate belgian waffle!
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

last weekend we went to brussels again. this time to visit a friend of m's who lives there temporarily while working for the EU. it was a bit more relaxed this time, less walking, more enjoying of sitting on the terrace of cafes and drinking a beer (or two). the weather finally was alright last weekend, before going back to its crappiness on monday, so we did get some face time with the sun. more belgian waffles (only 3 this time!)...we took 2 home with us. they are SO good. good thing i dont live in brussels or I would eat them every day. it was a nice time, and i do like brussels...but i dont think we'll be going back there for awhile! there are too many other places to see still.

we've been getting ready for our trip to germany. we're leaving next week for 2 weeks. we're going to garmisch-partenkirchen in extreme southern bavaria (south of munich). we'll camp there for 10 days, and then go to esslingen and visit my german host family, as well as a friend from that high school class. hopefully the weather cooperates!

Bright spots

2007-07-03T12:24:00.001-07:00

Hot air balloon in stormy weather
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

As much as I joke about the "squatters", when telling others where I work, its all just that - joking. Yes, its true, the hostel was founded by squatters, and some of those founders still work there. But no one's a squatter any more. And there are others who weren't part of that movement. But the general feeling there is that of being alternative...alternative to my 'mainstream' lifestyle. And that's why I probably joke about it, because its different to me. But maybe I should try to see things more their way. There might be some good in that.

The last two weeks have been typical 'Dutch' weather. Cloudy, cool, rainy, sometimes heavy downpours, and often times its very windy. So when the sunshine comes out, it is always something special. Its like when the first flowers bloom in springtime, or perhaps what it is like in Alaska when the sun first shows after a long winter in the dark. Today was just another such day, rainy and cold, with periods of heavy misting rain. When I was in the basement cleaning the lockers since its slow and most guests were staying another night (meaning I don't have any beds to take off and new ones to put on), Well one of my co-workers came down to change the laundry around and said "oh, the sun is out! you must take a break and sit outside!" So I did. by the time I got out there though, it was cold and cloudy again. And eventually it started raining again...but it was such a hopeful and positive outlook on life, to value the important things, no matter how little they may seem.

After I left the hostel, I went to the center where the stores are along the gracht (the canal)...and after braving the crowds that are always in H&M, I was riding my bike back towards home, and I heard some man say in english to his woman companion, "I love this place, its so nice here." The sun was out, the brick sidewalk was still wet, the flower man was trying to sell his last sunflowers and tulips of the day...and I hear such a positive comment on appreciation of the beauty of this city. It made me feel special that I am apart of this beauty...in a way. On my bike, along the canal, I am apart of the living city. I may not be from here, I may not even speak the language or know any other Dutch people here, but I'm still apart of this living city. Its nice to hear comments like that, to see the city through the eyes of a newcomer to Utrecht.

Last night we had M's basketball team over for a end of the season BBQ. We have our electric BBQ out on the balcony, protected from the heavy rain showers. But inside we had 11 people, enjoying some great food that M and I prepared and some beer and wine and some music. It was really nice. I wouldn't mind having people over more often- in fact, its quite nice to have some social time in our own home. this was the first time we had a party here. And the first time this group of people have been here and seen our apartment. Its nice to have people over and show our place and our bunnies to everyone.

This picture was taken by M from our apartment balcony last week.

but it had oatmeal extracts!

2007-06-28T02:58:00.001-07:00

You know you're integrating (commercially or materially) into a culture when all your toiletries have the native language on them. I know there are supermarkets here too, but I always bring bottles of my shampoo, conditioner, shower gel, toothpaste, face wash, lotions, and maybe some hair products with me from home. I know its not the most efficient way of packing, but I still do it. But this past week my toothpaste and my lotion ran out. My beloved Aveeno non-scented ultra-moisture body lotion with oatmeal extract. Then you know have a new lotion that isn't quite the same. It may say Vaseline on it (a known brand in the US), but for "droge en gevoelige huid" that is 'hype-allergeen & ongeparfumeerd'. Hey, at least I found a lotion for my dry and sensitive skin and is unscented!

Goodbye 'american' products, hello 'dutch/belgian/french' products

The perfect cappuccino

2007-06-24T02:16:00.001-07:00

The perfect cappuccino
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

just wanted to show and prove that i can make a cappuccino--that's two in a row where the milk foamed! :-)

this past wednesday was a sort of 'staff night' at the hostel. i thought it was going to be just a party in the garden...but it ended up being a going out to dinner at an indonesian place, where i had my first ever traditional dutch "rijst tafel" (rice table)...basically just putting all the different dishes out on the table and everyone can choose what they want, an all you can eat buffet but at your table. then we went to a pool hall nearby and played pool for 2 hours. i was out of practice and not so great. but the building the pool hall is in was really neat- an old swimming pool used to be there, but they filled the zwembad in. But it still has the old brick in there and they added some chandeliers. As a gift, everyone got a kite and a swim tube ...cheap little type gag gifts, but I'm actually excited about the kite! i havent flown a kite in years and years- it should bring hours of excitement.

Thursday I saw Ocean's 13. Fun movie!

weekend of world music

2007-06-20T00:18:00.001-07:00

roots festival, amsterdam
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

One of the fun things of a summer in holland...are all the music festivals. this past weekend we went to two of them, both centering on 'world music'. On saturday we went to Festival Mundial in Tilburg. Quite a popular festival, with 3 or 4 stages and many other booths set up either selling 'worldly items' (aka hippie things)...or tents to promote supporting a good cause- mostly related to world health and charities and the such. The only name I knew of the musicians was Gabriel Rios, and I only knew one song of his. We also listened to a Ukrainian Folk band, which ended up being a rock band with an accordian and a metal sword, but they were fun. We heard of course some raggae and more often spanish/salsa music. It was a fun day, however it rained over half the time and the ground was quite muddy. But we didn't let that stop us from having fun and enjoying drinks to numb the pain in our feet from standing the whole day.

On Sunday, M and I went to Amsterdam with the intent to see a traditional Korean drumming group at the Roots Festival in the Oosterpark. In the early afternoon we went to the Tropen Museum, which chronicles life and cultures of those societies that live in the tropics. Pretty interesting...didn't get to see quite everything. Then we went to the park and walked around. Not quite as organized as well as Festival Mundial, but still ok. We saw this group perform traditional Javanese music on this large wooden xylophone type instrument. It was really neat and really good. About 10 men were playing at one time. It was very beautifully decorated as well (the instrument). Then at 430 when we thought the Korean group would play...they didn't. We finally asked someone at the info point and they said they were playing at 7 instead. We were getting rather tired, and would have been home after 10 if we stayed, so we decided to go home. Too bad, but hopefully there will be another opportunity in the future.

It was interesting to note that the tropical cultures we saw in the museum- from indonesian to african to latin- were the cultures and music that were highlighted at the Roots Festival, just down the street from the museum. It was a good combination.

who stole my cheese?

2007-06-14T12:48:00.001-07:00

before the bloom
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

Besides working at the hostel, not too much going on this week. history seems to be repeating itself in that I am having another run-in with a mouse. there is a house-mouse at strowis that has made itself known to me today for the first time. but i heard about him from some guests last weekend. they think there is only one, and he's a pretty bold mouse. i saw him behind the bar running around by the floorboards. he doesnt seem like a scared mouse. he even went in the bag of a co-worker of mine because she had some cheese in there to take home. what a hungry little one! she said she was considering leaving the cheese out for him to eat anyways instead of him stealing it from her bag.
i'm continuing with my integration by watching dr.phil and Lizzy maguire (with hilary duff) on tv. yes, TV shows I never watch in the US I am watching here. The topic yesterday was 'my boyfriend/fiance won't commit to marrying me!' Quality tv.

Finally...I made a cappuccino!

2007-06-11T06:14:00.000-07:00

The biggest news of last week I forgot to include in my post from Saturday---I made a cappuccino and the milk actually foamed! woohoo! It looked so nice. I was really excited. funny how little things make me so excited now.

Saturday night we were at M's parents' house for his sister's birthday. We left on the 11pm train back to Utrecht. By some odd, random chance that I cannot explain, we happened to run into this woman who is staying at the hostel now. She's from the US with a study group, and has talked to M about housing markets and stuff like that in the NL. Apparently she fell asleep between Delft and den Haag on the train, and then woke up when it was continuing on ...somehow I dont quite understand this b/c Den Haag would have been the end of the line. But in any case, I heard some woman speaking English to the train ticket person saying she thought she was going den haag and when he said its going to Utrecht, she said well that's ok, I want to go to Utrecht. Then she walked in the car, and I couldn't believe it. That was too weird for me.

Yesterday we went on a 16km hike/walk through some forested areas between Ede and Wageningen. It took like 4 hours, so I wonder if it was really longer than 16 km. it was nice, but my feet were killing me after that.

Already one up on my last job...

2007-06-09T06:10:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had a meeting with the man who 'hired' me on at the hostel, it was an evaluation on my last two months there, a sort of self-evaluation and then an evaluation on the hostel itself; if I had anything to add or change to what they do now. I didn't think I would have much to really say, seeing as I'm a volunteer, and I'm only there for about 10 hrs/wk. But I was there for more than an hour. We sat outside in the garden, and it was sooo hot and humid, I was dripping sweat the whole time. But it was a nice meeting, and he's happy with me so far. The next thing i really could do is to answer the phone, but we'll see how that goes. Just because of the language thing.

And, I got a tshirt with the name of the hostel on it! I never got that at my last job! ;-)

Last night it was kind of stormy, so that was cool to watch the lightning from our window. We also watched the movie "Eurotrip" again...such a funny movie, but it's funny to watch all the stereotypes of Europe that young Americans have....but funny enough, many of these stereotypes are also held by those within Europe. Brits as hooligans. Frenchies are 'froggies'. The Rastafari in Amsterdam. The crazy Germans. Anyways, its all just good fun.

On another note...I'm totally excited that Paris Hilton has to go back to jail. I've been following it from here too on CNN International and all my fav celeb blogs/websites. Its such a debacle, but she loves attention...now she's getting it. And if she's faking all these near nervous breakdowns, its working in her favor to get more attention. She has always gotten her way in life, and she will continue to. For once, she should be treated like us normal 'have-nots', and face the consequences for her law-breaking lifestyle, no matter how insignificant it may be (so she didn't kill anyone like OJ..but still). Maybe she won't learn anything by spending 23 days in a 12 by 8 ft cell all alone...but it will give her the opportunity to. Now we just need to lock Lindsey Lohan up as well, before she kills herself. I think LLo is more dangerous to society than Paris is.

Anyways, enough celeb gossip, I gotta go.

It was only a matter of time...

2007-06-07T04:23:00.000-07:00

I haven't been feeling up to par lately. But you know, its the same as usual...I'm surprised I made it this long without major problems. But, what I assume to be maybe some allergic reaction is back in full effect...more than the normal day. I've had sort of throat problems since Saturday or Sunday...but no fever or other cold/flu like symptoms...just a sore throat. Now that is mostly gone, but it feels like i have a lump in my throat...you know when you are sad and you are going to cry you get a lump in your throat? well, that's me, but I'm not crying (yet!). and usually my arms and neck are quite itchy and have bumps on them (from whatever I'm allergic to)...but now its my legs. Very weird. But very annoying. I found some Vick's Vapo-rub at the store here and it is pretty good stuff, i like it. I never have used it before, but I thought I'd give it a try. It helped my sore throat/breathing (i wish it would help my itchy legs!).

I should probably go to the doctor, but my past experiences don't give me much hope. In the US I could go in and perhaps offer some possible explanations and they will (usually) listen. Here, I feel if you offer some possible explanations on what it could be or maybe what I may need...they dismiss it completely, like no collaboration is allowed. How could I be so crazy to suggest anything? But they don't really give much thought and dismiss it as "allergies" and it will go away with time. I doubt they will give me antibiotics (for my throat). They are very stingy on prescribing medication. I am afraid i have to beg for a throat culture. Anyways, I might be going in tomorrow so we will see how it goes. But there was a recent report saying there were over 40,000 accidental deaths in Dutch hospitals last year by mid-diagnosing patients. This doesn't make me feel so good.

Of course, I'm also maybe half a hypochondriac, and since I had upper respiratory pain when breathing, I was wondering if I have TB...like that dude who traveled to Europe knowing he had TB. There are other diseases and problems I think I may have, but yeah, probably not true. But i just like to see a doctor to reassure me. but i think it goes with my personality...a bit of OCD and anxiety issues.

Last night I went to a BBQ party with the women on the bball team I'm joining to celebrate the year (even though i wasn't even there for the season!). I was not sure how it would go, if I would be sitting there by myself or if people would talk to me....it was a mixture of both, but mostly i didn't talk too much. i tried more to add something if i knew what was going on (in English of course). towards the end a few people made an effort to ask me some things which was nice...probably due to more drinks by this time of the evening. But overall, i had a nice time. I'm glad i went, i just wish i could talk more so people would know me. basically the new news they learned about me is that I'm not going on vacation this summer because i have to save money for a wedding next year. "oh! a wedding!?" But then there really aren't any 'follow up' questions to that. I know, it takes time to fit in with a group. I'm trying...

On Tuesday I met a guy staying at the hostel from Milwaukee...I saw his license in a split second when he opened his wallet...it looked like mine. I'm like, 'are you from Wisconsin?'....yeah, he was kinda taken aback because he hardly spoke so he wasn't sure how i could have pinpointed his accent...but it was the license. Small world.

BBQ: dutch style

2007-06-04T06:17:00.001-07:00

new grill
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

We are now ready for summer, as we bought a small grill for our balcony. Its actually like a George Forman Grill, except there's no cover for it...its electric, but it works well. We tested it out the same day we bought it. Good dinner of vegie-kabobs and burgers. It was on sale for 45 euros, so we decided to buy it. Now, we can have people over for a BBQ....except I don't know that many people!

And it looks like our balcony is also being over taken by plants. I think I have an obsession now, and I must stop buying plants. Besides daisies, we have lavender, a geranium, a lily, basil, thyme, mint, 2 tomato plants and a red bell pepper plant...oh yeah, and a hanging plant that isn't hanging because we don't have a hook for it. The balcony is also home to two crates of Heineken beer...although one crate is so old its expired. Time to get rid of it!

Those crazy Belgians

2007-06-01T06:35:00.001-07:00

black music?
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

So apparently 'black music' is a music genre in Belgium. I was pretty surprised to see this in a huge electronics store, equivalent to Best Buy or Circuit City. This would not fly in the USA! Who is the store manager or marketing director here? I just had to take a picture with my camera phone.

But I just don't get it...its it's own separate section, next to R&B/hip hop/rap, which I would think that's what they mean by 'black music'....

So, I guess, I have to say, where is the "white music" section at? Is that like Hanson and Backstreet Boys?

This was probably the most surprising behavior I witnessed in Brussels. Not to say there are other things I don't get....like no soap in the bathrooms at the youth hostel, or cafe waitresses who have no customer service OR communication skills what-so-ever... But seriously, 'black music'? There's a reason why there aren't that many black people in Belgium...I'm sure its things like this that contribute to that.

Apparently the one black person in Belgium found the right section.

Brussels- where it all began

2007-05-31T04:50:00.000-07:00

This past weekend M and I went to Brussels....aka the capital of Europe...aka Brussel/Bruxelles.

This is the city we met in, back in 2002 on a class field trip. It was nice to go back there together again. Although this time we actually did get to do some site-seeing...the first time it was all just class related stuff at the EU HQ. We took a bus there (Eurolines), and it was only 16 euros round trip each (on the train its about 40 r/t). It takes about 3 hours to get there with traffic.

We had a beer on the terrace of the restuarant where we first met (the White Rose/Rose Blance/Witte Ros), which happens to be on the Grote Markt, the main town square with beautifully decorated buildings. We posed for pictures in front of Manneken Pis, the fountain of the little boy peeing...where 5 years ago we started talking. And we happened to come across the Irish pub we all went into as a group 5 years ago, where we continued to talk to each other. We went to the Atomium (the atom-looking thing pictured below!)...which was neat from the outside, but inside was actually nothing special. we went in the different balls, and you walked between them on steps or escalors. It was built for the1958 Worlds Fair. Its 335 ft high and each sphere is 60 ft in diameter!! Made for some neat pictures.

We also ate many delicious Belgian waffles (with whipped cream or chocolate), and I had 1 cherry beer and 3 raspberry beers over the course of 2 days.

We stayed in a youth hostel that was a great location, but otherwise was not so great. I am biased now, I'm sure...but this place had no character, the beds weren't comfortable, the breakfast was very basic, and the people weren't that friendly. They gave you two basic white sheets that reeked of bleach, and a woolly blanket, without a separate cover for the blanket...which means it had been used by others before me w/o being washed. That is rather unhygienic and kinda of gross. My throat hurt the whole time I was there, partly because I think of the very intense smell of bleach. The hostel also closed at 1am; and between the hours of 10am and 2pm, you are locked out. I should have considered this 1am close time when I booked it, as the reason we went to Brussels was to go to a Dave Matthews Band concert at the Forest National, on the south side of Brussels. We missed the last 2 songs of the encore because we were concerned about timing...listen to Dave for 2 more songs, or sleep on the street. The logical people we are, we decided to leave early to make sure we got on the tram back to the center in time before it closed. we got back with 25 minutes to spare.

The concert was awesome! Probably the best Dave concert I've been to, and this was the 4th one. I went to a concert in Milwaukee in 1998, Dallas 2000, Alpine Valley (WI) 2003, and now Brussels. The last time DMB was in Europe was 1998. This was indoors, so the lighting and sound was great! The bass from the drums is amazing. And since DMB isn't quite as popular in Europe as the states, this place, with seating for 7000 or so...only maybe 4000 showed up. We sat down for the opener (Tom Morello of Rage against the Machine and Audioslave); I thought everyone would stand up at their seats when Dave would come out, but they didn't. So after the 3rd song, we ditched the seats and went down to the floor so we could dance. I mean, how can these people not stand up and dance in the presence of Dave?? It was really fun. And we were about 100 ft from him!! That's the closest I've ever been to the one and only Dave! This was the playlist:

(Still Water) - Don’t Drink the Water - When The World Ends - Grey Street - Dream Girl - Crash Into Me - Jimi Thing - The Maker - Louisiana Bayou - Sister + - #41 * - Satellite * - Crush - Down By The River - Stay (Wasting Time) - Ants Marching - encores: - So Damn Lucky + - American Baby Intro - Two Step

Show Notes: * Tom Morello + Dave Solo

Ah, listening to DMB brings me back to my college days. ;-) Of the brighter, carefree years of being young and a student. Now its reality check time.

When we were on the Grote Markt on Monday night, taking pictures and just taking in the beautiful night, there was a group of about 6 girls playing music on a 'boom box', who were having a bachelorette party for their friend Romy. The even lit something on fire, and the popped open a bottle of champagne and put the first out with that (and drank some of it too!). There was also a couple standing in the center of the square for a very long time, embracing each other. I figured something was up. When one of the bachelorette girls walked by them, the girl said, can you take a picture of us, he just asked me to marry him. It was so sweet. What a special night at the Grand Place.

More pictures can be seen at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/caclabots/sets/72157600291289598/

Revisiting the past

2007-05-25T06:07:00.000-07:00

Vivi, Virginia, me

Virginia, Jill, Tara

Richard and his tower of empty beer glasses

On Tuesday I was able to meet up with some friends of mine from 5 years ago...that I met here in Utrecht as a student. Virginia (Argentina) and Jill (US) are here for a week to visit Utrecht again. Tara (US) has also lived here for awhile. Richard and Martin (Dutch) were 'mentors' in the ESN group. And of course, Viviana (Costa Rica), lives here as well. It was very strange to see them again...just like old times! We met up in Mick O'Connells pub, where we did every Tuesday back in 2002 for International Student night. It was nice to catch up...and to have friends (of my own) around! After several beers, I finally left at 1245am. Which means it was a fun night! :-)

Step 1 of official integration: check

2007-05-24T02:58:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was one of the days I've been waiting for for over two months...well, at least it was a move in the direction of something I've been waiting for. And no, I'm not talking wedding related or vacation related things (other things I'm waiting for!). Yesterday I had a meeting with someone at the Inburgering (integration) department at the Gemeente (city gov't). I had no idea what was really going to go on at this meeting....I was expecting something fabulous and entertaining, since I went there to make the appointment over two months ago...they could have at least entertained me or something.

But, to my surprise, the man was actually quite nice; 'normal' in my opinion. He seemed interested in helping me as a person instead of me just as another immigrant client they are pushing thru to integrate that they are indifferent to.

So, what exactly is "integration" you may ask? Well that is a good question. I am not sure what the city defines it as exactly...and at what point or level am I "integrated"? I may have a different definition of it than they do...or as the next Dutchie (that is more likely the case!). Is integration purely/mostly language based? That seems to be my impression from the people who always say/tell me that I must "inburger"...for the fact that I inconvenience them by speaking English. I've lived over 2 years of my life in Holland, I know how things work here. I may not know their history 100% or how their housing system or health system works completely...but for every day life and the general mannerisms of Dutchies, I know how that goes.

What the city of Utrecht is doing, is offering Dutch language classes and some 'culture/society' information in the classes as well (such as, how much does a bus ticket cost? or...where gov't departments can I receive money from? --my friend who went thru this program said this is actually what they teach!). There are four levels of classes and proficiency in the Dutch language, and they teach you and then are later tested on listening, reading, writing, speaking, and grammar structure or something. The city pays for me to inburger for one year. And, if necessary, it may be possible to extend that for another 1/2 year. After the four levels are complete, I can take a 'statsexam'...or a test that will certify me that I am 'fluent' in the Dutch language, and is thus recognized throughout the country for schools or jobs for example. The classes are either 4 times a week in either the morning or afternoon or 2 or 3 times in the evening for those who have to work/go to school during the daytime. Since I am planning on being employed soon after getting my work permit, I will opt for the evening classes. And, not to be prejudiced or anything, but that probably betters my chance to be with a bit more educated group of people, since they have jobs.

However, there is a slight catch...well, not catch, but snag. I have to wait until the Immigration Department accepts me and I receive my permanent residence permit, before I can take these classes. It makes sense...the city doesn't want to spend a lot of money on someone who is not permanently legal. So I hope within the next 2 or so months (I'm being positive), I will get the letter from the IND (Immigration), and as soon as I get a letter, I can call the Inburgering office and we will set up an appointment that week where the contracts will be signed (yes, contracts! They state that they will do their best to get me into a class that suits my needs and wants and will pay for it, and I will attend these classes regularly), and a placement test will be taken to find out what level I need to start out at. The reason for the contracts is again -- money. They are investing a lot of money in me and these classes. If I don't go or get any better at Dutch, then their money is not going to good use. And then I owe THEM the money for the classes, which could be over 1000 euros. I hope that I really can get the test and contract done within a week of getting my IND letter, because the sooner all this is put into motion, the better. The next classes start in September. And it will also help me with jobs, and of course, my overall feeling of acceptance and inclusion in society (I hope...but maybe that is a bit too unrealistic so soon?).

This program of integration is obligatory by all new immigrants to the Netherlands for family/partner reunification, regardless of their country of origin. The laws just changed this past January, so we were unsure if it was obligatory for immigrants from western countries, and if it would even be fully paid for as a westerner. Luckily they are smart and realize the positive effects of helping westerners to 'integrate' as well. We may be from western countries, but if am not allowed to work at this time, how will I have money to pay for language classes that will help me to integrate and find a job and be an asset to society and the economy? Who says just because I'm from the USA, that I have money to afford such classes? But the current program they have sounds alright to me...in the fact that they pay for the classes! Offering language classes is definitely better than nothing at all.

Not all cities in the Netherlands have the same types of service and support. Utrecht has an even better program than Amsterdam for example. Amsterdam pays for one year and then they're over with you. Utrecht gives you the opportunity for a possible extension. They also have a new program, a type of internship program, which I think is a really good idea. I can suggest/request a type of job or sector that I am looking for a job in. They will try their best to find a business or office that will take me in as a (unpaid) intern. This way, I can practice my Dutch in the work environment, and learn the words/terms in that field. Also it can help get me contacts in the field I'm looking for a job in. I think I may try this, once I get better in speaking.

So this whole program, while aiming to integrate thousands of immigrants into the Dutch culture, from what they say, sounds like a more individual type format/approach. I have a contact person with the city, if the classes are too fast or too slow, they will help re-place me. They won't just place me in a group with people who are not at my same level, as that won't be any benefit to me at all. This is my current situation with this neighborhood organization that offers a class once a week on Wednesdays. I've gone I think 4 times, and it is not good at all- rather disorganized and loose, and way below my level. Plus the other ladies (like 4) in the class are much older than me, but I think not quite at my educational level...they don't seem like completely bright people...its taking them 4 classes of 2 hours to even understand how to conjugate a single present tense verb of "to be" and "to have". Its like pulling teeth-- painful!

I also learned that I can get a Dutch passport in 3 years instead of the normal 5, because my partner has Dutch nationality and I am here for partner reunification. Normal migrants here for work or school or those that came on their own, have to wait 5 years. But according the the US government I would have to give up my US passport. At this point I'm not even considering Dutch nationality. And honestly, I don't know if I'd ever want to get it. Definitely not at this point! 3 years seems a short amount of time to 'become Dutch'...I don't think after 30 years I would even be considered Dutch, even if I was fluent and everything.

The next big thing I'm waiting for now, is the actual letter from the IND...hopefully by July (they have til the end of August) I'll hear something from them. I'll have to have a party for that one.

First cup of coffee

2007-05-22T02:08:00.001-07:00

First cup of coffee
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

This past weekend I received a new Senseo coffee maker from M's parents! Very nice of them. This morning I made my first cup of Vienna blend coffee, and it was very good! This coffee maker uses individual pads of coffee, so you can make just one or two at a time. Plus the machine itself looks pretty schnazzy.

Anyone want to come over for a cup of coffee?