Summer is over in Holland.
And I don't just mean weather wise (that's a given).
It is easy to see, this clear distinction between summer vacation and fall. I began to notice it about two weeks ago, but very abruptly this week. Thousands of Dutchies flee the country in the 6 week period from early-July to end of August. Probably most of them flee to southern France. That seems to be the escape route of Dutchies. In mid-July, all you hear about on the news are the endless traffic jams, miles and miles long, in Germany and France, going south.
But in the last two weeks, the trains to and from work have been getting fuller. Its harder to get a seat to myself again. The car traffic in the mornings is picking up. Its getting more dangerous riding my bike again! More kids are on the sidewalks at 815am, riding to school next to Dutchie-mom , who is also hauling two toddlers on her own bike. Grocery stores are getting more packed full of people again. summer sales are over, and the saturday market is getting busier every weekend.
Its clear to see that summer is over. Back to life-as-usual in Holland. Basketball is beginning, and the busy times ensue. And looking forward to next summer's vacation when all will be calm again, here on the home front.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
roller coaster summer
Hard to believe that over 2 months has gone by since the last post. This has been a mostly good summer, and time has flown by. My brother and sister came for a one week visit in early June. This was a wonderful time and the highlight of the summer. Of course the time was too short and was over so quickly!
I've continued working on through June and July, with a few non-work-related fun things here and there. I started jogging again with Matt about 3 times a week, to get me on track for a 5-k run, but that is not my plan to run an actual 5k race, its only a training schedule. The last 2 wks have not been very good due to lack of time. I'm not much of a runner/jogger anyways, but if it will help me stay somewhat ready for the up coming basketball season, then why not. And I want my pants to continue to fit me. Matt and I also started going to a yoga class. It is pretty tough stuff, and involves a lot more sweating that I imagined. The calming nature of yoga has yet to show its face. Its kind of painful at times, but I hope it will change something for the better.
My continued search for satisfying employment has not resulted in anything new yet. Luckily (I suppose), my contract was renewed for 6 more months, so at least I will have an income for now. This continues to be my overbearing problem in my life, with the lack of job satisfaction overtaking every other area in my life and often times I become pretty upset and depressed. And of course this job situation is reflective of my living here in Holland, so many doubts arise daily and often hourly if this is the right place for me. Even after 2.5+ years here full time, my feelings about living here are still a roller coaster ride. I wonder if this will ever change. Probably not. It is a almost constant internal battle/discussion in my head.
Another friend of mine has left Amsterdam and moved home. Another will move back home in a month and a half. Re-reading the book My Dam Life, by Sean Condon, a few weeks back was a good choice; reading about another expat's attempt at normal functioning life as an foreigner in Holland (before the rules got so strict even) and later failure was a bit comforting, knowing I am not the only one in this situation. Of course it doesn't actually help in the long run, my situation has not changed. But I am trying very hard sometimes to change the way I view and look at the situation itself. While the idea of moving back to the US has come up several times in conversation this summer, its not a real feasible plan at this point in time. For now, I will remain here, and try to change certain aspects in my life that will maybe help me enjoy myself more in the present, and try not to worry about things I cannot change in the future....Again, leading to the roller coaster emotions.
I've continued working on through June and July, with a few non-work-related fun things here and there. I started jogging again with Matt about 3 times a week, to get me on track for a 5-k run, but that is not my plan to run an actual 5k race, its only a training schedule. The last 2 wks have not been very good due to lack of time. I'm not much of a runner/jogger anyways, but if it will help me stay somewhat ready for the up coming basketball season, then why not. And I want my pants to continue to fit me. Matt and I also started going to a yoga class. It is pretty tough stuff, and involves a lot more sweating that I imagined. The calming nature of yoga has yet to show its face. Its kind of painful at times, but I hope it will change something for the better.
My continued search for satisfying employment has not resulted in anything new yet. Luckily (I suppose), my contract was renewed for 6 more months, so at least I will have an income for now. This continues to be my overbearing problem in my life, with the lack of job satisfaction overtaking every other area in my life and often times I become pretty upset and depressed. And of course this job situation is reflective of my living here in Holland, so many doubts arise daily and often hourly if this is the right place for me. Even after 2.5+ years here full time, my feelings about living here are still a roller coaster ride. I wonder if this will ever change. Probably not. It is a almost constant internal battle/discussion in my head.
Another friend of mine has left Amsterdam and moved home. Another will move back home in a month and a half. Re-reading the book My Dam Life, by Sean Condon, a few weeks back was a good choice; reading about another expat's attempt at normal functioning life as an foreigner in Holland (before the rules got so strict even) and later failure was a bit comforting, knowing I am not the only one in this situation. Of course it doesn't actually help in the long run, my situation has not changed. But I am trying very hard sometimes to change the way I view and look at the situation itself. While the idea of moving back to the US has come up several times in conversation this summer, its not a real feasible plan at this point in time. For now, I will remain here, and try to change certain aspects in my life that will maybe help me enjoy myself more in the present, and try not to worry about things I cannot change in the future....Again, leading to the roller coaster emotions.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Costa Rican Adventure
I haven't written awhile, but that's because M and I were gone on vacation for almost a month. On April 20th, he had his PhD defense and graduation, along with a party at night. Two days later on the 22nd, we were westward bound towards the US and then south to Costa Rica. We went for the wedding of a friend of mine, who is from San Jose but lives here in Utrecht and was marrying her Dutch fiancee. It was a beautiful wedding at a wonderful location...the reception was in the mountains at a hotel overlooking a lake. After that we went on to the southern Caribbean coast for a few days, and enjoyed some time on some deserted beaches. We stayed in a bungalow in the rainforest with 2 walls open to the outside (screened). We slept to the sound of rain on the tin roof and frogs and insects chirpping, and howler monkeys waking us up before the sun at 4am. It was my favorite place of the whole vacation. We moved on from there to the southern Pacific coast, to the Osa Peninsula. This is the most isolated areas of Costa Rica, with the most pristine rainforests. Drake Bay is only accessible by twin engine propellor plane or boat...or I suppose a horse or 4 x 4 in the dry season. From there we went on a 2 day hike in Corcovado National Park . It was about 18 km of walking each day...the first day from 7-9am on horseback, then 10am-515pm walking. I was totally exhausted...we stayed over night at the ranger station Sirena, very primitive facilities! The next day another several hours walking along the beach, both on sand, on rocks, on land, and along the forested shore area, and also past rocky headland cliffs, where the rising tide proved to be a bit dangerous and tricky towards the end. It was the most adventurous thing I've ever done in my life, and I'm glad I did it, but I probably won't do that again for awhile!
After that we went up north to Arenal volcano, the most active volcano in the western hemiphere. there is a constant plume of smoke coming out. we heard explosions at times, and one night we were lucky and the clouds parted for about 20 minutes and we could see the orange glow of lava at the top! Finally, we went to the Monteverde cloud forest. It is a rainforest in a higher elevation (in the clouds), so there is more moss at this level due to the moisture.
We saw so many amazing animals- three different kinds of monkeys, colorful and beautiful birds, snakes (poisonous and non), spiders, poison red dartfrogs, a 5 foot long iguana, hermit crabs, manta rays, fish, dolphins, and sloths! including baby sloths!!!
Unfortunately, I do not have many pictures to share, as our hotel room was broken into in Drake Bay while we were sleeping around 4-5am on our last morning there, and our cameras were stolen. My camera is very important, I love taking photographs. All our wonderful wedding photos, palm tree lined beach photos, animal pictures...gone. :-( Luckily our money and passports were still there. I am such a light sleeper I cannot imagine why I did not wake up and hear him. But our money and passports were stupidly in a wide open spot, maybe I did start to roll around and he got scared and took off. Two other rooms were also broken into, and they lost hundreds in cash, credit cards, passports, cameras, and even BOOTS!!! We were quite lucky. The dude slit open the screen next to the door a few inches and reached inside and opened the one measly lock to the door. So simple was it. We will never get our stuff back, but at least we were safe and not hurt. So,the first theft in Drake Bay recorded, in this small town of under 300 people (spread out over a large area). Why didn't they wait one more day til after we were gone!?!
After CR, we flew to Wisconsin, since we were on that side of the world anyways! We visited my parents in their new house for 3 days before flying back to the Netherlands. I am glad we went there, it was too short of a visit though.
Now its back to 'real life' in Holland. Back to work again. But, most importantly, back to my bunnies, waiting for us here!
After that we went up north to Arenal volcano, the most active volcano in the western hemiphere. there is a constant plume of smoke coming out. we heard explosions at times, and one night we were lucky and the clouds parted for about 20 minutes and we could see the orange glow of lava at the top! Finally, we went to the Monteverde cloud forest. It is a rainforest in a higher elevation (in the clouds), so there is more moss at this level due to the moisture.
We saw so many amazing animals- three different kinds of monkeys, colorful and beautiful birds, snakes (poisonous and non), spiders, poison red dartfrogs, a 5 foot long iguana, hermit crabs, manta rays, fish, dolphins, and sloths! including baby sloths!!!
Unfortunately, I do not have many pictures to share, as our hotel room was broken into in Drake Bay while we were sleeping around 4-5am on our last morning there, and our cameras were stolen. My camera is very important, I love taking photographs. All our wonderful wedding photos, palm tree lined beach photos, animal pictures...gone. :-( Luckily our money and passports were still there. I am such a light sleeper I cannot imagine why I did not wake up and hear him. But our money and passports were stupidly in a wide open spot, maybe I did start to roll around and he got scared and took off. Two other rooms were also broken into, and they lost hundreds in cash, credit cards, passports, cameras, and even BOOTS!!! We were quite lucky. The dude slit open the screen next to the door a few inches and reached inside and opened the one measly lock to the door. So simple was it. We will never get our stuff back, but at least we were safe and not hurt. So,the first theft in Drake Bay recorded, in this small town of under 300 people (spread out over a large area). Why didn't they wait one more day til after we were gone!?!
After CR, we flew to Wisconsin, since we were on that side of the world anyways! We visited my parents in their new house for 3 days before flying back to the Netherlands. I am glad we went there, it was too short of a visit though.
Now its back to 'real life' in Holland. Back to work again. But, most importantly, back to my bunnies, waiting for us here!
Friday, April 10, 2009
Two year expiration date...
Well, not for me really. My two year mark has come and gone, quietly... back in February. It is amazing that it has been already two years! I lived in DC for (exactly) two years as well, and that seemed to go at a much slower pace than these 2 years here. I think that 2 years is kind of the tipping point for living here in Holland. Its the point where either you've had enough and can't take it anymore, or....you just keep trying (maybe like a goldfish with an 8 second memory span). The original newness wears off quickly here, when you are not a tourist. You are confronted with the weather (you've survived 2 dark, wet winters and two wet and cool summers), the lack of proper medical attention that you are used to in your own country, the almost impossible task of "integrating", and the high level of arrogance with a large percentage of the population. Not to mention the language barrier. I'd like to say that I made it though all these obstacles, but I can't. I continue to be confronted with these things all the time. Some days are better than others; sometimes I don't mind living here, other times I just want to leave.
Back in February, I found out that I passed all four parts of the national language exam I took in December. That means that i'm "integrated" into dutch society by the dutch government. I can now apply for citizenship next year without having to take a integration exam. I have a diploma and am now allowed (technically) to attend university classes in Dutch and work in Dutch-language business environments. I don't entirely believe that, because I still have problems with speaking properly on a higher level than just regular conversation (seems I have problems in english now too!). But at least I have a piece of paper to show after 1.5 years.
I often feel that I never (will) understand anything around me or to be able to fully participate in life here. I cannot respond or joke with some one in a random comment on the bus. I cannot stand up for myself (in Dutch) if someone is offending me. I cannot understand word for word the news or a conversation. I don't want to go through my whole adult life not completing knowing what is going on around me, and just remaining in some oblivious state of being. I suppose I mostly feel like that when I am "interacting" with other dutch people - mostly dealing with basketball. Whether at practice, or the drinks after a game, I usually just sit there while they chatter on. Its not too often that someone tries to engage me in conversation or gets to know me.
All this takes its toll on a person's self-esteem and self-worth. And patience! While I was working at TT, I made three friends, all three of them are not Dutch. Two moved here for dutch partners, 1 on his own. One of these friends already moved back to his home country in March, after just under 2 years of living here. Another friend, is giving herself a time limit and refuses to still be here in December of this year, which will be just over 2 years of her living here. Experiences here for all of us, have been difficult, but also sometimes degrading and insulting too. If one realizes they will be happier somehwere else, it is not a failure to leave here. It is actually an accomplishment to have survived so long, and to realize its time to move on. I will certainly miss them, as finding friends (that you can be your true self with) in a foreign country is difficult. We went through some interesting and difficult times together at TT, and their support is the only thing that got me through my 1 year of working there and through my first year of living in Holland. I continue to seek and appreciate their advice and support, I will be sad when they leave (or left already in the case of one friend). I just wonder when my expiration date for Holland will arrive. Or even more scary, will it arrive?
Back in February, I found out that I passed all four parts of the national language exam I took in December. That means that i'm "integrated" into dutch society by the dutch government. I can now apply for citizenship next year without having to take a integration exam. I have a diploma and am now allowed (technically) to attend university classes in Dutch and work in Dutch-language business environments. I don't entirely believe that, because I still have problems with speaking properly on a higher level than just regular conversation (seems I have problems in english now too!). But at least I have a piece of paper to show after 1.5 years.
I often feel that I never (will) understand anything around me or to be able to fully participate in life here. I cannot respond or joke with some one in a random comment on the bus. I cannot stand up for myself (in Dutch) if someone is offending me. I cannot understand word for word the news or a conversation. I don't want to go through my whole adult life not completing knowing what is going on around me, and just remaining in some oblivious state of being. I suppose I mostly feel like that when I am "interacting" with other dutch people - mostly dealing with basketball. Whether at practice, or the drinks after a game, I usually just sit there while they chatter on. Its not too often that someone tries to engage me in conversation or gets to know me.
All this takes its toll on a person's self-esteem and self-worth. And patience! While I was working at TT, I made three friends, all three of them are not Dutch. Two moved here for dutch partners, 1 on his own. One of these friends already moved back to his home country in March, after just under 2 years of living here. Another friend, is giving herself a time limit and refuses to still be here in December of this year, which will be just over 2 years of her living here. Experiences here for all of us, have been difficult, but also sometimes degrading and insulting too. If one realizes they will be happier somehwere else, it is not a failure to leave here. It is actually an accomplishment to have survived so long, and to realize its time to move on. I will certainly miss them, as finding friends (that you can be your true self with) in a foreign country is difficult. We went through some interesting and difficult times together at TT, and their support is the only thing that got me through my 1 year of working there and through my first year of living in Holland. I continue to seek and appreciate their advice and support, I will be sad when they leave (or left already in the case of one friend). I just wonder when my expiration date for Holland will arrive. Or even more scary, will it arrive?
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
The day has finally arrived!!!
How can I let this wonderful day go by without writing something documenting it!? I can't! Today is one of the most exciting and enthralling days of my life! Obama is my new president! I finally can be proud of my country, and of what it stands for: for good, not bad. I left work early to make sure I was home to witness this amazing moment in history! The scenes of millions of people packing the National Mall, 2 miles long, to view this one moment in history, to be a part of it. Its even more exciting to me because Washington DC was my former home. I wish more than anything that I could have been there today. Its so wonderful to see all these buildings, corners and scenes that were, and still are, so familiar to me. I was only there just 2 months ago for a visit. I'm so happy that Obama is now the leader of my country. He is an intelligent, charismatic, young, handsome man with a beautiful family. I am so proud of his amazing accomplishments in such a short time, and I look forward to all the wonderful things he will accomplish in the next four years. The city is alive with a magical feeling and such happiness. I wish I could be there to take part. But instead, I will forever remember this day and where I was when he was sworn in. I was sitting on my couch at home with M, able to witness it live on tv. My body was physically here, but my heart and spririt were in DC. Despite all the pomp and circumstance, and all the cheesiness (you could say) of American life centered around this weekend, I miss it! I like it, and that will never change!
I think this was the first inauguaration that I've ever really watched. Not only is that because of age and interest, but also significance. Never before has an inauguration meant so much before. Its not just the historical significance, but also his message of change that brings hope to so many. It is a change in mentality for the government and the direction our country will move in in the future.
here in holland, several watch parties took place, all over the country. I was going to go to a democrats abroad watch party at the hard rock cafe in amsterdam, but i RSVP'ed too late and was not able to get in! Several dutch politicians were also just as ecstatic and emotional as us Americans today. the prince even came back from the middle east today and made sure he could watch the ceremony online. the ceremony was even carried live on 3 dutch channels. this new president is not only important to the US, but also to the whole world.
I dont have to preach on the significance of this day in American history. we all know how special this 44th president is to our history. but still, the magical feeling is alive in me and millions of others around the world. and i think it will stick with me for many days to come.
I think this was the first inauguaration that I've ever really watched. Not only is that because of age and interest, but also significance. Never before has an inauguration meant so much before. Its not just the historical significance, but also his message of change that brings hope to so many. It is a change in mentality for the government and the direction our country will move in in the future.
here in holland, several watch parties took place, all over the country. I was going to go to a democrats abroad watch party at the hard rock cafe in amsterdam, but i RSVP'ed too late and was not able to get in! Several dutch politicians were also just as ecstatic and emotional as us Americans today. the prince even came back from the middle east today and made sure he could watch the ceremony online. the ceremony was even carried live on 3 dutch channels. this new president is not only important to the US, but also to the whole world.
I dont have to preach on the significance of this day in American history. we all know how special this 44th president is to our history. but still, the magical feeling is alive in me and millions of others around the world. and i think it will stick with me for many days to come.
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