mega basketball overload

This past weekend I took part in a basketball tournament in Utrecht, the MIT (mega-international tournament), organized by the student basketball clubs at the university of Utrecht. There were 49 teams (apparently) from all over Europe - even as far away as Germany, England, and Prague. The theme was a 60's/hippie theme: peace, love, and basketball. It started Thursday afternoon and went til Sunday morning. Now, for those from afar brought sleeping bags and mattresses and slept in one of the gyms at night. But since this is Europe, who really sleeps anyways? Its all about the partying!! I was on a team with 7 other women, a mixed team from the two women's teams from my club. We had one game on Thursday, they played 4 on Friday (I couldn't because I had to work), we played 5 on Saturday, and one on Sunday morning. Its not your normal tourney 'bracket'...its just divided in pools and they found a winner based on wins and the point balance. Saturday the weather was fantastic, and between our games, we sat outside in the sun. I have a nice tan line from my socks/ankle braces....niiiice. I was really exhausted after 2-3 games...even though they are only 25 minutes each (not like real games). Each night there is a big party....but I only stuck around for the party on Saturday night. After 5 games, starting at 930am and the last one at 730pm...I was out til 2am at the bar at the sport club. I kinda was 'heavily encouraged' by M to stay, since I am very hesitant to stay out at bars in group situations like this--the loud music and people I don't know well enough and a language I can't really speak more than a normal conversation. But it turned out to be alright and actually a bit fun. Beer helps you loosen up and dance a bit more, but it also helps with speaking a different language... sunday we had a game at 1130am...and I was sweating all that beer off. We ended up 3rd of 6 teams in our pool. not too shabby. It was fun, and I'll do it again next year if we're in Utrecht then.

being a part of something (takes time)

I wanted to write about this past weekend. I've been keeping myself REALLLLLY busy, that's why I haven't been able to write til now! Language lessons, basketball, and basketball related duties are keeping me very busy. Last night I didn't get home til after 1130pm! And didn't get to bed til 1am! I have to let the rabbits out for a little while, or they won't have any time to stretch their legs and hop at any other time of the day! M is not here in Utrecht this week. He's far far away in a place called Friesland...in northern Holland. You know, for the Dutch, 2.5 hours away really is like the edge of the world! He's there helping his parents settle in to their new house. Oh, and his contract was renewed for one more year (or really, it is in writing this time since it really shouldn't have had to be 'renewed' in the first place). So his job is safe, and he will be able to still get his PhD in the end.

Last weekend was full of basketball, as I'm sure many more weekends to come will be as well. Saturday night I had to score-keep for the women's' 1 team. They have a very weird score keeping card/sheet here, it took awhile for me to understand it. Seriously, changing colors of the pen each quarter to keep the stats....very weird. there must be more efficient way of score keeping (there is...trust me...in the US of course).

Then on Sunday, i was again at the sport hall from 530-11. I watched my team play, then I had to keep score again for another game, then I watched M play in his game (he joined the club too). While it was busy, it felt nice to be involved in something, to be apart of something. Its a good way to see some sort of 'result' to just the practicing, as so far that's all I've mostly been involved with. I kinda felt like I was back in middle school again- when we had weekend tournaments and 20 schools would take part in the weekend tournament. Those were fun times. anyways, it felt nice to be apart of something again. (It also helped though that M was around to help me score keep the first game!! and that he was around for the afternoon too). Now, if only I could really be able to communicate better...

Oh, and I'm the 'smoelenboek commissie'...the 'address/picture book committee' for the club...I have to put together all the pictures, addresses, and they have to answer one question based on the theme of the book...we're putting it together and giving it out at the next Borrel ('drink/happy hour'). I'm working with one other woman on this. The theme is 'film'...and the question is 'which film star would you want to resemble and why?' Just an added fun element to the book. This is a good way for me to know people better- to study pictures and figure out who people are! :-)

Side-lined

Well, to further complicate problems...Saturday I was to play in a pre-season tournament with the women's basketball team I am joining. It was from 9am-2pm. Our first game was around 930 or so. I played for maybe 8 minutes, came out, then subbed back in. But that only lasted a minute...somehow, when I was trying to defend someone under their basket...I either turned too fast or stepped on someone's foot...but my ankle buckled out from under me and I hear it pop as I was on my way down. I sprained it pretty badly. Luckily some girls helped me to the locker room rather quickly and put it under the cold water faucet in the locker room. And I got some ice after awhile too. It was pretty painful. The same thing happened to me about 3 yrs ago when I was playing just a pickup game at the gym at OU..but with my left foot. It was bound to happen sooner or later I suppose with this foot. But why now!!!?? When it finally matters to be playing. This tournament was for the team selections. Obviously I'm on the 2nd team and that's ok..but I was wanting to play on Saturday! And, here I am, calling in sick on my second week of work, I feel like a complete schmuck. Instead of trying to fit in smoothly on the team, I stand out even more by my clumsy body. I practiced with this team 6 times already, played all spring with M's team, played a few times in the park in the summer...nothing happened. Now finally when I have a real team to play with, a job I need to go to...I injury myself. Sometimes I wonder if i wished this upon myself, by hoping it wouldn't happen.

So, instead of a weekend when I actually had plans and several things to go to and do...I had to stay home and sit on my butt all weekend. Saturday was not good- it was painful and I couldn't do anything. i decided not to go to the ER because apparently in Holland, the doctors don't do much of anything. They could take an x-ray, but i know it wasn't broken because it wasn't that sort of excruciating pain and I could still move my toes. Luckily M rented some crutches at a store nearby...and bought a brace so i can sort of stabilize it myself. At the hospital, they would only tape it up at most, and I could do that myself. 3 years ago, with my other foot, they put it in a cast and after a week i had a boot I could walk on it with. Here, they believe in the body healing itself apparently....So here I am, on the couch. Its still pretty swollen, and I don't have much movement, but I can put a little bit of weight on it at least now. I think commuting on the trains here with crutches is going to be a b*tch. I definitely cannot ride my bike yet. I will try to take the bus tomorrow.

So typical....

I feel like a jerk for taking off already--mostly because my boss doesn't know me and my usual work ethic...I don't want to give such a poor impression when I first start.

In any case, I won't be playing basketball for a few weeks probably. Very disappointing.

Get off of me!

Not to be a 'Debbie Downer' or anything, but I had a bit of a interesting experience, yet again basketball related...as I dwelled on my actions, I came to an interesting conclusion.

Monday night I played again on M's team in a student league. A player on the other team was a little over aggressive and I think a little over the top. At one point in the first half, I grabbed a rebound and waited for everyone to clear out before I started dribbling out. Well, this player was all over me, smothering me to try to get the ball. In a normal game with real refs, they would have (should have) called a reaching foul. Normally I would not say anything out loud, but this guy was really irritating me. And, as I'm probably a little too overly competitive and too hard on myself, in a burst of frustration as I was pivoting back and forth trying to get this guy off of me (I couldn't dribble to get away from him because he was all over me), I screamed out "Get OFF of ME!!" I was really ticked off! And I think I surprised or scared him so much that he did immediately get off of me. It felt really good to yell. But immediately afterwards, I felt rather embarrassed, as it was a little over the top for me to do that, especially at this level of student play. The game doesn't even matter. And its not like I'm thinking he should treat me differently because I'm a girl player...that's stupid...I just wanted him to get the heck off of me!

In the end, we won by a few points, but in the few times I actually did get the ball, I missed four shots, 2 of which were super easy. I am very hard on myself. I left for the locker room without even talking to the others on my team. I was ticked for missing the shot in the last minute, and I was upset at myself for screaming at the other guy. As I sat outside alone waiting for M to 'hit the showers'...I thought that perhaps this outburst at one guy, was representative of my experience as a whole right now with 'the Dutch'...if I can generalize it so. I feel extremely smothered at times, and extremely belittled by a few select people who don't even know me...where I am immediately put 'back in my place' as someone who is different and not equal. Of course, even after yelling, I realized that by screaming in English, I was immediately recognized as an outsider and not 'normal'...as the Dutch really thrive on having everyone 'act normal' and on the same level. I don't think I'm very often my full, real self when I am around people other than M (or maybe his friends or my one friend too), as I don't feel I can when I'm talking to someone new, which doesn't happen often anyways. I can't use the slang or sarcastic sense of humor that I usually speak with in the US, because its not really always understood here (unless I am talking to someone who is good with English). I just want everyone to get off my back, and get off my case about integration! Is that always the only thing it can be, integrate or not? I want to be myself. But how can I if I am supposed to "integrate" to their ways? Integration is always the first question topic no matter what...if not "where are you from?" Either way, both questions establish that you are not from here.

How am I supposed to make friends here? At this age, people are out of school and not as big into drinking and socializing with new people...they have jobs and partners and perhaps kids (there are older members in the basketball club I'm going to join). They have their established friends, and don't really open up to new people more than an acquaintance level.

Maybe I'm just too sensitive and I should just shut up.

In any case, it was a nice release to scream out loud like that...I know I have to not care as much about what other people say about integrating or speaking the language. But I do care, and I don't know why I am this way. My emotions are stored up til there is a big outburst. Too bad one player had to be the brunt of my screams towards the population as a whole! That is...if you accept my in-depth analysis of what my outburst really was.

Maybe I just wanted the guy to get off of me.

Integration...by murder?

My life has been pretty full of basketball lately.While it is good I'm keeping busy and getting exercise at the same time, I also don't want to become sick of it so soon! But more the problem now is that I've been busy at night with games and practicing...that I hardly have seen or spent time with M! Monday we both play on the same team. Tuesday he had to work late and was home after 9pm. Wednesday I had practice and got home at 1030 and he was sleeping. Thursday was a free day for once, but Friday I again played in a sort of mixed tourney with some student bball club from Utrecht. Too busy!

Yesterday was also a day related to basketball...but for a different reason. The club I am going to join in the fall, was celebrating their 16th 'birthday'. They were having an all day party, which included some games in the afternoon, and during dinner, we had a game of "murder". I was kinda worried about this all week, as I had to have M's sister translate my part, since he couldn't know who I was or anything about my character. I was really worried that I would not be able to follow along in the game and really embarrass myself...even though this is all for fun. But I don't always have that mindset, as there is usually someone who makes me feel more stressed, and always at least one comment about "inburgering"...aka- integrating. It never fails to be mentioned.

So we sat at a table of 7, 6 of us were players, and there was one 'host' or leader. the first round i was really rather lost and getting upset with myself that I shouldn't even be here. Luckily the leader helped with some of the translating, and one other woman at the table spoke in English for me. But at one point, someone asked, 'shouldn't we all just do it in English?', and of course, there was one person who quickly objected and stated that I should 'inburger'. Well, what do you think I'm trying to do then? By coming to this party, I was trying my best. I could just stay at home and shut myself inside and never come out. I'm sure people who make these comments have never lived in another country or known someone personally who has lived abroad. Then they would be a bit more empathetic towards my situation. I try to be social, but a lot of times it makes me feel even more isolated. Social situations are hard enough for me in my own language! I'm an introverted person, I wonder why I have gone on this path in life to live in another country.

In any case, the game was alright in the end, the dinner was good, and I had some laughs when I knew what was going on. My character, Meta de Vries, was not the murderer, and on the 3rd and last try, I did correctly guess the murderer (mordenaar).

Today we could finally rest and not have any obligations to go to. We planted some flowers in the planter I bought at IKEA last week to put on our balcony...which I want to make all nice for summer. I bought some marigolds (Spaanse margriet) at the flower market yesterday morning. Also a lavender plant for one euro- that is in the hanging planter. The Dutchie bought a mint plant and some thyme, as he's all about the natural herbs. ;-)

Many congrats today-- to Rachel for graduating with her masters in nursing! Yeah! Congrats to Vivi and Maarten on their engagement! And Happy Mother's Day to my mom...so all you others out there, don't forget to give your mom a call! :-)