Well, not for me really. My two year mark has come and gone, quietly... back in February. It is amazing that it has been already two years! I lived in DC for (exactly) two years as well, and that seemed to go at a much slower pace than these 2 years here. I think that 2 years is kind of the tipping point for living here in Holland. Its the point where either you've had enough and can't take it anymore, or....you just keep trying (maybe like a goldfish with an 8 second memory span). The original newness wears off quickly here, when you are not a tourist. You are confronted with the weather (you've survived 2 dark, wet winters and two wet and cool summers), the lack of proper medical attention that you are used to in your own country, the almost impossible task of "integrating", and the high level of arrogance with a large percentage of the population. Not to mention the language barrier. I'd like to say that I made it though all these obstacles, but I can't. I continue to be confronted with these things all the time. Some days are better than others; sometimes I don't mind living here, other times I just want to leave.
Back in February, I found out that I passed all four parts of the national language exam I took in December. That means that i'm "integrated" into dutch society by the dutch government. I can now apply for citizenship next year without having to take a integration exam. I have a diploma and am now allowed (technically) to attend university classes in Dutch and work in Dutch-language business environments. I don't entirely believe that, because I still have problems with speaking properly on a higher level than just regular conversation (seems I have problems in english now too!). But at least I have a piece of paper to show after 1.5 years.
I often feel that I never (will) understand anything around me or to be able to fully participate in life here. I cannot respond or joke with some one in a random comment on the bus. I cannot stand up for myself (in Dutch) if someone is offending me. I cannot understand word for word the news or a conversation. I don't want to go through my whole adult life not completing knowing what is going on around me, and just remaining in some oblivious state of being. I suppose I mostly feel like that when I am "interacting" with other dutch people - mostly dealing with basketball. Whether at practice, or the drinks after a game, I usually just sit there while they chatter on. Its not too often that someone tries to engage me in conversation or gets to know me.
All this takes its toll on a person's self-esteem and self-worth. And patience! While I was working at TT, I made three friends, all three of them are not Dutch. Two moved here for dutch partners, 1 on his own. One of these friends already moved back to his home country in March, after just under 2 years of living here. Another friend, is giving herself a time limit and refuses to still be here in December of this year, which will be just over 2 years of her living here. Experiences here for all of us, have been difficult, but also sometimes degrading and insulting too. If one realizes they will be happier somehwere else, it is not a failure to leave here. It is actually an accomplishment to have survived so long, and to realize its time to move on. I will certainly miss them, as finding friends (that you can be your true self with) in a foreign country is difficult. We went through some interesting and difficult times together at TT, and their support is the only thing that got me through my 1 year of working there and through my first year of living in Holland. I continue to seek and appreciate their advice and support, I will be sad when they leave (or left already in the case of one friend). I just wonder when my expiration date for Holland will arrive. Or even more scary, will it arrive?
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