parking problems of another sort...

One funny thing I came across in the news this past week that is so typically dutch: a parking problem for bikes, specifically bak-fiets. These bikes are mainly used by the hip/trendy dutchy parents in their 30's to cart their kids to and from school or around town in an extra long bike with a cart in the front that can fit 2-4 kids. And these trendy parents are found particularly in the the more upscale neighborhoods in Utrecht (not my neighborhood!). These bikes of course take up more space than the normal bike, and are actually causing parking problems at schools, at grocery stores, and other places around town. And in true Dutch spirit, this issue has found its way to the political agenda in some neighborhood organizations. They want to have special parking spots for these bikes, because it inconviences other 'regular' bikers. These political groups are thinking of having a special corner for bak-fieters.

Only in Holland.

You can never go home again

Its been quite awhile since I've written. Part of that was due to a two week trip to the US in November. The main reason for going was to be at the wedding of a good college friend of mine in St. Louis. But I combined this with a trip back "home" to Washington D.C., my home from 2005-2007, and to my real home, Sheboygan. It was a busy two weeks, but I enjoyed myself. M didn't come with, mostly because of time and money, but also that I was in the wedding too, and he'd be bored most of the time, as we were doing girl things. It was good to go back and visit with some good friends, eat some good food (mostly unhealthy!), and see my family again. Having gone to the US right after the election, and only hearing pro-Obama things here in Holland, I was a bit taken aback at the reality of the situation is certain places of the country. But, I suppose it was good to get a reality check. As my dad said, "you've been in Europe too long" (in an effort to add some humor/cheer me up). Its only been 2 years, have I changed that much? No, I think I was already this way before: open to new things and ideas, concerned for people's civil rights and human rights, concerned for the environment, and concerned about the current reputation of the US around the world and our lack of international cooperation (and common sense). When I heard some of the things I did while in the US, I was both shocked and scared. Its quite sad there there are people so close-minded, and it was a good reminder to me of, despite my complaints about Holland, that people really are better off here. It may be "absolute anarchy" in Amsterdam, as Bill O'Reilly so kindly put it on FOX News this past week, on the culture problems the Dutch have (um, ok). So many coffee-shops (not really), the red-light district (its regulated and in a small area only), and everyone distrespects the 'baby Jesus'....Well, despite the often bad manners I see here, things aren't all that bad (I suppose). There may be a lot of rules, but the government is around to regulate and take care of its citizens. Taxes may be higher here, but there are programs and organizations to take care of everyone and everything. Whether you are sick, unemployed, homeless, poor....there are ways to help. I will pay higher taxes to help others. I may have no choice (except to leave), but I will do it. Transportation is loads better. I don't have ot own a car here at all. It not only helps the environment, it also saves me tons of money. I can afford to actually save money here, unlike my situation while living in DC. And while I can see that this probably would never work in such a big country as the US, its really disturbing how people react to ideas and ways of life that are different than their own. As much as I want to move back to the US, because of being closer to my family and friends, as well as the familiarity of it all, I really scared myself thinking of not coming back (right away).

Usually I go home for the holidays, and this time was different. It was not only an eye-opening visit. But it was also the last time that physically will be going "home" to my house that I grew up in. My parents are moving over the next few months to a house they built 30 miles outside of Sheboygan. While it is a nice house on a lake in the quiet countryside, its not 'home' to me. This was the last time I slept in my bedroom that I grew up in, where I played as a kid, listened to my parents read me bedtime stories, hid under my pillow so I wouldn't see the lightning in summer, or the bright glow of orange sneaking into my room from the reflection of the streetlights off the snow in winter, and the excitement of knowing when I would wake up the next day, it would be Christmas morning. Never again, will I have the possibility to go back to this room after coming home for a visit. Its very difficult for me to accept that I cannot go home again. Growing older is not easy: to do or to accept.

Since the US, I have been working and finishing off Dutch lessons. After 1.5 years, I've had enough. I do not want to come home at 1030pm anymore. I get the most stressed out when I do not have time for myself to do what I want to do (or do nothing at all). But working full time and going to school 6 hours a week is tough. And while I finished on the 2nd of December, the real apogee of my entire "life" in Holland arrived this week. How integrated am I really? I took the Dutch national language test, otherwise known as the staatsexam. It consists of 4 parts: reading, writing, listening, and speaking. If you pass them all, you get a diploma saying you are 'fluent' in Dutch, and you are allowed to follow courses/programs at the university level. Unfortunately they only offer it during the daytime (in typical Dutch unhelpful fashion), so I had to take 2 days off of work for this...when it could have been offered within one day ---or at night. Anyways, I will know in 5 weeks if I passed or not. And while the diploma may say I'm fluent, I really don't think I am. I can converse in simply constructed sentences, but I can follow a conversation if I'm actually paying attention. And I know how to take tests well. I was the only westerner at these exams, and there was an over-representation of women. Only 2 of 20 people at today's test were guys. And I recognized no one from my classes at the local ROC school. So, in 5 weeks, we'll see if I'm really integrated enough into Dutch society. But all I had to do was go back to my home country for 2 weeks to know that I might not belong there either anymore.

The day after: verkiezingen in de VS (election in the US)

I haven't been able to write for awhile, due to an exhaustive schedule. Many things have happened in the last month. But the most important news in years and years, the presidential election, I cannot pass this historic day by without writing something!

In the last few weeks, I have gotten asked several times by people if I can vote. And I replied, yes of course! i already did! I sent my absentee ballot in about 3 weeks ago. I have to explain how that works of course. My only trouble with that was the fact that I needed an American citizen to sign the ballot as a witness. WI is the only state that requires a US citizen as a witness. Now, when you live in a foreign country, as is part of the point of an absentee ballot---where do you think I will come across an American? I was really worried I wouldn't get my vote in on time due to this little problem. But I asked the HR dept at my work if there were any other americans here. Luckily for me there was ONE other american, and I got her to sign it for me! problem solved.

I sent in my vote for Mr Obama with two stamps, just to make sure it got back to WI on time.

The coverage in the US is unrelenting, I'm sure. I know how it works there. The ads on tv, the phone calls, the flyers in your mailbox, the non-stop 24 hour coverage on cable news channels. But here, that kind of campagning and news coverage is unheard of. That is purely thought as of "american sensationalism". And its true, it is a bit over the top, but that's how it works in the US. But in the last few months, the news coverage here has also stepped up. Every news report in the evening had a piece over what was going on with McCain and Obama. And last night, there were several watch-parties around the country, specifically the bigger cities: Amsterdam, den Haag, Rotterdam, Leiden, and Utrecht, with programs and speakers, and in one case "an american breakfast" (they think here that's donuts and coffee). Several Dutch channels (there's only 3 main public ones!) had coverage from NY and DC. The Germans were there too, and of course in Miami, FL (if you know Germans, they love Florida). The free daily newspapers in the train- all have "full" coverage (that means more than one page) of what is going on in the election. There is even a special edition newspaper this afternoon over the election that will be distributed nation-wide. It is very interesting for me to see their coverage on an election that they cannot vote in, yet directly impacts them. There is always a feeling of hope here, that America will pull through and vote for the man that will bring a better future to the US and to the world. And, of course, I want to keep up with everything going on in my own country.

So, it was an unprecidented election- two candidates that would both have made history (first black president or the oldest man to take office), highest voter turnout in generations, and the most expensive campagnes ever. But it was also unprecidented coverage here in Holland as well. Over 80% of the Netherlands would have voted for Obama if they could have voted. Everyone wanted him to win. It was a no-brainer. But I think they were still hesitant here on how America would really vote- could they get past his "liberal" ways or the color of his skin? But even here in the NL, I've heard from many people, that they do not believe Holland would be ready for a black prime minister. Just in the past month, a Morrocan born Dutch citizen was voted as mayor of Rotterdam. Many many people still have a problem with this. But, if he can lead and govern properly and enough people have faith in him to do his job right, then where is the problem? Its letting go of their "dutchness" and of what has always been.

We all know we are at a critical turning point: in international relations, with the environment, and the future of this planet. So, will America continue the same path as always, or vote for change, was the big question.

When I woke up this morning at 630am to check the news, I see that finally my fellow Americans came through, and voted for change! I'm SOO happy and excited and proud that Obama won and will lead our country in a new direction. Now I do not have to be ashamed any more to say I'm an American...Bush will no longer be the image synonymous with the US to others around the world. It will be an inspirational, intelligent, honest, young, black man. The image that everything and anything is still possible in the United States.

Iceland betrays us!

Well, as the US economy crashes a la Depression Era style, one may wonder about the little countries of the world and how they are doing. Ok, maybe no one is really wondering that, but of course, if the US economy fails, it will bring everyone else down with them! Way to go, teamwork USA! Anyways, as you may or may not have heard, Fortis, the big leaders in mortgages in the Benelux, failed and the gov't will bail them out and buy up shares. Iceland's banks have failed, and the gov't took control of all three of their national banks. Seems its like dominoes now.

Up til now, this crisis doesn't directly affect me, except for the dollar-euro exchange rate! Or at least that's what I thought. A few months ago, M opened up a savings account with the Icelandic bank Icesave, which is (was) a purely online banking system. No statements, no hard copy proof....everything online. There was a 5.25% interest rate on the account, and it had good reviews (according to what M found). It was a branch of the Icelandic bank Landsbanki. Icesave only opened up their international banking to UK and Dutch investors only. Well, these banks failed, and Icesave went bottom up earlier this week. We could not even load the page on Wednesday when we realized we should try to withdraw our money. The UK customer's page had a message that all accounts were frozen and no one could withdraw their money. So, while we are still quite young to not have a large savings account, it is still significant enough to be upset about! So, we could be set to lose all our savings due to this worldwise financial crisis.

Now, I'm a nervous person to begin with. I am worried and anxious about quite a few things in life, more than the average person, I'd say. But for some reason, I'm not freaking out about this. I am not worried that we won't get it back. Iceland was supposed to guarantee the first 20,000 euros, and anything above that, the Dutch gov't pays back. Of course we don't have more than 20,000euros, so it shouldn't be a big deal....right?

Then there's the threat of the Iceland gov't being bankrupt. So who's going to give us our money back?

Well, last night, we, as one of 120,000 Dutch customers of Icesave, were assured that we would get our money back, by the Dutch finance minister. Here's a short english article summing up the current situation.

So, while I truely love Iceland (its the special place where M proposed and also a very very beautiful country), I can't help but be upset by their goverment...who stole our money!! A country of only 320,000 people... had billions and billions worth of euros invested in their country by 2 others.....as the PM of Iceland said yesterday: "I think this is a good lesson in the fact that a small country should not aim to be a world leader in international banking."

If that's not a "doh!" moment, I don't know what is.

true love, forever

true love, forever
Originally uploaded by dutchlop.

This past week has been one of the most difficult weeks, emotionally, in a long time. One week ago today, my first bunny love, Rosie (left), died. It came as a great and sudden shock, as she did not seem terminally ill. She died while at the the vet's office on Tuesday morning, probably of either a heart attack or of being unable to breathe, probably from stress. Only in the last month was she not breathing quite normal. Since the last week or so of August she was sneezing a lot. I took her to the vet the first week in Sept and she got some antibiotics for her sneezing. She stopped while on the meds, but soon after they were over, about 2 wks ago now, she started sneezing again, a hard sneeze, not a normal bunny sneeze. I also noticed that i could hear her breathing harder thru her nose, and her lungs were moving differently. I asked M to take her in to the vet last Tuesday morning, his last day of work at his old job. I left home in a rush that morning because I was running late. I didn't say goodbye to her, because I never ever thought she wouldn't come home alive. I will always regret that. I thought this would be just a normal check-up and she'd be home. I did feel that she wasn't healthy and probably wouldn't live for another year. I actually said that to my mom on the phone on sunday. But never would I think that 2 days later, she would die! I'm still in shock and disbelief, one week later.

Her x-ray showed that her lung capacity was much much smaller than normal due to a build up of fluid around her heart. The reason for this, we will never know. The vet tried to revive her with a shot of adrenaline to the heart and oxygen, but it didn't work. Rosie wanted to go over the rainbow bridge where the fields are greener and there are endless carrots and cranberries to eat, where she can binky as much as she wants, and breathe easily. She is survived by her hus-bun, Japie. He will miss her terribly, and we can tell a definite change in his character in this last week; he is lonely and misses Rosie.
I've never cried so much for an extended period of time, in my life. Every day all last week, I would cry for my dear Rosiie. This has been really very very difficult.

but, i know, that perhaps this was the best way for her to go, she knew to make it as easy as possible for us (me especially). she wasn't sick very long, she wasn't in pain for long, she didnt let us see her suffer, and she didnt make us make a decision to put her to sleep (that would be horrible). and i'm glad she didnt die when we were in the US, or this weekend when we will be gone. she would have died soon anyways, bc of her lung capacity/heart. so this was probably best. i just wish she didn't have to die! burying her was extremely hard to do, to put her in the cold dark wet ground. and it was all so rushed, i didn't have time to fully grieve, bc we had to bury her before it got dark out. when i got home from work (after crying all day at work), we had a goodbye ceremony here at home. we said our goodbyes and gave her her last noserubs. it was so strange how still and stiff she was, i just kept expecting her to wake up--she was still so soft and fluffy. japie said his goodbye too. that was very sad as well, to watch. We buried rosie with carrots and basil, with some wildflower seeds we gave away at our wedding in june, as well as with flowers and a note i wrote to her. we wrapped her up in her favorite blanket that she and japie used to cuddle up in so much.

its still hard for me to think of her laying there. our house is empty without her big personality around. she was mean to bram and lily. she was bossy yet sweet with japie, her love. she was obedient to us. when we said 'cage', she knew what to do (and expected a treat afterwards!). she also took out my nose piercing, back in 2004...in some weird mental-message my mom sent her (my mom wanted the nose peircing out, so rosie did it!). she always greeted me in the morning, excited for her breakfast. she would steal carrots from japie and hold them in her mouth above his head so he couldn't reach it. she was a really special bun with a distinct character. she was my first pet ever, and my first bunny-love; she showed me that i was capable of loving an animal so much, that she became a member of our family. it was with her, that my love-affair with rabbits started.

i hate to think of her buried in the cold, wet ground. we had to bury her in the rain, before it got dark out. we buried her in a forested area in the polder area, just about a mile from here. we visited her again on saturday and left her some flowers. she will be terribly missed. and we love her so much. rest in peace rosie. you were a wonderful bunny friend.

For her tribute page and some more pictures, please see my flickr page:
http://www.flickr.com/groups/bunnyloversunite/discuss/72157607595447128/