Everybody hurts...

Yesterday I experienced a part of Dutch society that I have been lucky enough to not experience til now- a funeral. The father of M's brother's girlfriend died last Friday. Yesterday was the funeral in Nijmegen. As the death was sudden and unexpected, it was quite sad. I only met him once, about 2 months ago for a BBQ at their house. He seemed like a friendly and nice guy. He enjoyed drinking chestnut liquor and teasing his kids.

I've only been to 3 funerals in the US luckily, and all three had wakes and a church service funeral. Here, it is not related to the church. Its in a specific building/complex for funerals- a crematorium. There were probably 250-300 people there, and not enough seating room, so over 100 people were standing. I was one of them. A person would talk for a bit or read a poem, and then they would play a song, usually contemporary. the three children each said something, and three others talked as well. It was about an hour long. At the end, we were to walk by the (closed) casket, and since M and I were at the end of the row of people standing up, we were led to the front first. I thought that was a bit awkward and strange, since I didn't really know what to do! I am sad that his life ended early, but I am more sad for those he left behind and how much they will miss him. I'm already a very emotional person, but a funeral is even worse! I hardly knew this man, and I couldn't understand everything being said, but I knew it was very sad.

After that, they lead you to the condolence area where there is tea or coffee and slices of pound cake to eat. That is typically Dutch I'm told. Also, many people dressed rather informally, I was quite surprised at how some people wore jeans or tight pants or bright shirts (white or red), or shorter skirts. They also asked for a round of applause for him at the end, which I thought was rather unnecessary and weird at a funeral- by being there we are already paying our respects and honoring his life. I guess things are different here. I hope I don't have to experience such things very often, as it is very emotionally draining and quite sad. Like I said, I've been lucky enough so far, but as I get older, others get older too, and (bad) health happens.