I haven't been feeling up to par lately. But you know, its the same as usual...I'm surprised I made it this long without major problems. But, what I assume to be maybe some allergic reaction is back in full effect...more than the normal day. I've had sort of throat problems since Saturday or Sunday...but no fever or other cold/flu like symptoms...just a sore throat. Now that is mostly gone, but it feels like i have a lump in my throat...you know when you are sad and you are going to cry you get a lump in your throat? well, that's me, but I'm not crying (yet!). and usually my arms and neck are quite itchy and have bumps on them (from whatever I'm allergic to)...but now its my legs. Very weird. But very annoying. I found some Vick's Vapo-rub at the store here and it is pretty good stuff, i like it. I never have used it before, but I thought I'd give it a try. It helped my sore throat/breathing (i wish it would help my itchy legs!).
I should probably go to the doctor, but my past experiences don't give me much hope. In the US I could go in and perhaps offer some possible explanations and they will (usually) listen. Here, I feel if you offer some possible explanations on what it could be or maybe what I may need...they dismiss it completely, like no collaboration is allowed. How could I be so crazy to suggest anything? But they don't really give much thought and dismiss it as "allergies" and it will go away with time. I doubt they will give me antibiotics (for my throat). They are very stingy on prescribing medication. I am afraid i have to beg for a throat culture. Anyways, I might be going in tomorrow so we will see how it goes. But there was a recent report saying there were over 40,000 accidental deaths in Dutch hospitals last year by mid-diagnosing patients. This doesn't make me feel so good.
Of course, I'm also maybe half a hypochondriac, and since I had upper respiratory pain when breathing, I was wondering if I have TB...like that dude who traveled to Europe knowing he had TB. There are other diseases and problems I think I may have, but yeah, probably not true. But i just like to see a doctor to reassure me. but i think it goes with my personality...a bit of OCD and anxiety issues.
Last night I went to a BBQ party with the women on the bball team I'm joining to celebrate the year (even though i wasn't even there for the season!). I was not sure how it would go, if I would be sitting there by myself or if people would talk to me....it was a mixture of both, but mostly i didn't talk too much. i tried more to add something if i knew what was going on (in English of course). towards the end a few people made an effort to ask me some things which was nice...probably due to more drinks by this time of the evening. But overall, i had a nice time. I'm glad i went, i just wish i could talk more so people would know me. basically the new news they learned about me is that I'm not going on vacation this summer because i have to save money for a wedding next year. "oh! a wedding!?" But then there really aren't any 'follow up' questions to that. I know, it takes time to fit in with a group. I'm trying...
On Tuesday I met a guy staying at the hostel from Milwaukee...I saw his license in a split second when he opened his wallet...it looked like mine. I'm like, 'are you from Wisconsin?'....yeah, he was kinda taken aback because he hardly spoke so he wasn't sure how i could have pinpointed his accent...but it was the license. Small world.
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