Working woman

Well, it has been a very busy week, thus no time for updates. I started my new job last Monday. The job is ok, but it is only production. I spend the entire day staring at the computer, researching if changes people submitted are valid (blocked roads, directions of the street, name changes, or points of interest like gas stations/stores/doctors/pubs, etc). This involves constant use of Google maps, Google Earth, Mapquest, Yahoo maps, and internet searches for a pub or a street name or for construction updates....its a long day doing only that. I look only at the UK submissions. Other people do other countries. It is a bit of a challenge trying to look on Google Earth to decipher which way the road is going, since they drive on the opposite side of the road as almost everyone else in this world! If the satellite images are good enough, you can make out the cars and sometimes there are arrows painted on the road and yield signs, so you can see which way they are going. I think i have a fairly good background in photo/air interpretation...and just using common sense and my geographical mentality, I can figure things out a bit better than the others perhaps...or they just have to learn how to do it, and then they'll be fine too. I just takes practice. Also, my previous job experience dealing with naming and classifying road systems helps me too to some respect. But really, this job is not geography- specific. you don't need a college degree for this work. and i think that most of the other 'worker bees' don't have a college degree. So it is a bit mind numbing...i wonder how long i can handle it! but, its money, i'm not at home alone, and its something for my resume, even if it is a step backwards, its not an empty hole. Hopefully, if i can learn dutch this year, in some time I can apply for other jobs where i can think and use my brain and use GIS as a tool. Not just 'factory work' in front of a computer.

Its kind of a weird place- i have a table as a desk. there are no drawers or anything, so i have no where to put anything. its all open, no cubicles, so there's no privacy. i don't have a phone yet. i also don't have any connection to a printer, and no one will help find one, or even show us where the printer is. the girl next to me is new too, she's from Israel originally, but has been living in Europe for 7 years now. she thinks its odd too. i think the issue is that the company is just expanding so quickly (a good thing- huge growth!), they can't keep up with the office changes. to me, with my experience of endless cubes but in precise pods of 6 cubes each at the Census...this is kinda chaotic. Since its all open, there are people who sit behind me , and i don't even know who they are. they were never introduced to me...and they don't introduce themselves. perhaps i should do so this week-- but is that too bold or overly 'friendly American'? there are also a group of 4 who sit between me and the window...there apparently are not any conference rooms available because they stand there the entire day, every day and talk - loudly-- about something that sounds so important and urgent but i can never quite follow what they are doing, even though they are speaking in english. who knows, but its very urgent by the seriousness in their voices.

On Tuesday, we had a little section meeting, but since no conference rooms were available, they booked a small conference room in the NH hotel next door to our building. That was kinda funny to me.

Commuting is an interesting thing too. I have to bike about 15 minutes to the station and lock my bike in a mad-cluster of hundreds of bikes. I am lucky if i even find an open spot to jam my bike in at a bike rack at 745am.

The train to Amsterdam leaves every 15 minutes: at 55, 10,25, and 40 after the hour. Once on the train, it is 20 minutes to Amsterdam Amstel station, the one before central. From there I take the metro about 5 minutes to the Waterlooplein exit. This is the stop I got out at back when I lived in Amsterdam in 2003-2004. So I know the area well. Its a big touristy section, since everyday there is a flea market there...for clothes and alternative things. Then I walk about 7 minutes to the Rembrandtplein, where my office is in a corner of the square, nestled in between dance clubs and cafes. Its such a good location, because at lunch time I can have so many possibilities for food (if I had money to do that)...but its so strange looking out a first floor meeting room window, and seeing signs for bars and cafes and advertisements for underwear. But the view from the 6th floor, where I sit, is wonderful. Someday I will have to bring my camera in- the view of the church steeples and old Amsterdam canal houses- wonderful.

Oh, anyways, about commuting...the 755 and 810 trains are so jam packed full of people...usually I have to stand in the doorway area, not in the actual seats. People are not very polite here, instead of standing to the sides of the doors to let people out first and then go in, they all crowd the doors, leaving only enough space for the people inside to come out in a single file. then once they are out, its take your life into your own hands and people rush inside, to find the 2 seats left open. On Tuesday I got there with about 30 seconds to spare, but the three cars I tried to get in, every single entrance was packed, there wasn't even enough space for me to squeeze in. So i had to stand there and watch it drive away with out me. That is the most annoying thing- to watch your train pull away with out you and you have to wait another 15 minutes. And usually I'm quite sweaty already, because of riding my bike there, and sometimes i jog/run to the train b/c i want to make that train. I'm going to try to get the 740 or 725 train because they are less full. it is quite interesting how much a difference 30 minutes earlier makes.

So starting this monday and wednesday i am taking the 'Integration Course', as I am obliged to take by the city of Utrecht. I signed a contract that I would attend, and they pay for all the costs. This is a pretty good deal- except that it meets on the one night in the week when i have basketball practice (wednesday). That is still being debated, on what will happen with that. I was really disappointed when i found out that this evening could not be changed, as playing and participating in a club team with dutch women is about the highest level of integration you can get....instead of sitting in a room with other foreigners learning about the world outside that you should be 'fitting in' to. everyone seems interested in what i will be taught in these classes-- aspects of dutch culture that the city or country finds important, but the average Dutchie might not even know (the words to all 15 verses of their national anthem for example)...or things that really aren't 'that' important. Of course, this will be my outlet for telling the world the important things I learn.

Step 1 of official integration: check

Yesterday was one of the days I've been waiting for for over two months...well, at least it was a move in the direction of something I've been waiting for. And no, I'm not talking wedding related or vacation related things (other things I'm waiting for!). Yesterday I had a meeting with someone at the Inburgering (integration) department at the Gemeente (city gov't). I had no idea what was really going to go on at this meeting....I was expecting something fabulous and entertaining, since I went there to make the appointment over two months ago...they could have at least entertained me or something.

But, to my surprise, the man was actually quite nice; 'normal' in my opinion. He seemed interested in helping me as a person instead of me just as another immigrant client they are pushing thru to integrate that they are indifferent to.

So, what exactly is "integration" you may ask? Well that is a good question. I am not sure what the city defines it as exactly...and at what point or level am I "integrated"? I may have a different definition of it than they do...or as the next Dutchie (that is more likely the case!). Is integration purely/mostly language based? That seems to be my impression from the people who always say/tell me that I must "inburger"...for the fact that I inconvenience them by speaking English. I've lived over 2 years of my life in Holland, I know how things work here. I may not know their history 100% or how their housing system or health system works completely...but for every day life and the general mannerisms of Dutchies, I know how that goes.

What the city of Utrecht is doing, is offering Dutch language classes and some 'culture/society' information in the classes as well (such as, how much does a bus ticket cost? or...where gov't departments can I receive money from? --my friend who went thru this program said this is actually what they teach!). There are four levels of classes and proficiency in the Dutch language, and they teach you and then are later tested on listening, reading, writing, speaking, and grammar structure or something. The city pays for me to inburger for one year. And, if necessary, it may be possible to extend that for another 1/2 year. After the four levels are complete, I can take a 'statsexam'...or a test that will certify me that I am 'fluent' in the Dutch language, and is thus recognized throughout the country for schools or jobs for example. The classes are either 4 times a week in either the morning or afternoon or 2 or 3 times in the evening for those who have to work/go to school during the daytime. Since I am planning on being employed soon after getting my work permit, I will opt for the evening classes. And, not to be prejudiced or anything, but that probably betters my chance to be with a bit more educated group of people, since they have jobs.

However, there is a slight catch...well, not catch, but snag. I have to wait until the Immigration Department accepts me and I receive my permanent residence permit, before I can take these classes. It makes sense...the city doesn't want to spend a lot of money on someone who is not permanently legal. So I hope within the next 2 or so months (I'm being positive), I will get the letter from the IND (Immigration), and as soon as I get a letter, I can call the Inburgering office and we will set up an appointment that week where the contracts will be signed (yes, contracts! They state that they will do their best to get me into a class that suits my needs and wants and will pay for it, and I will attend these classes regularly), and a placement test will be taken to find out what level I need to start out at. The reason for the contracts is again -- money. They are investing a lot of money in me and these classes. If I don't go or get any better at Dutch, then their money is not going to good use. And then I owe THEM the money for the classes, which could be over 1000 euros. I hope that I really can get the test and contract done within a week of getting my IND letter, because the sooner all this is put into motion, the better. The next classes start in September. And it will also help me with jobs, and of course, my overall feeling of acceptance and inclusion in society (I hope...but maybe that is a bit too unrealistic so soon?).

This program of integration is obligatory by all new immigrants to the Netherlands for family/partner reunification, regardless of their country of origin. The laws just changed this past January, so we were unsure if it was obligatory for immigrants from western countries, and if it would even be fully paid for as a westerner. Luckily they are smart and realize the positive effects of helping westerners to 'integrate' as well. We may be from western countries, but if am not allowed to work at this time, how will I have money to pay for language classes that will help me to integrate and find a job and be an asset to society and the economy? Who says just because I'm from the USA, that I have money to afford such classes? But the current program they have sounds alright to me...in the fact that they pay for the classes! Offering language classes is definitely better than nothing at all.

Not all cities in the Netherlands have the same types of service and support. Utrecht has an even better program than Amsterdam for example. Amsterdam pays for one year and then they're over with you. Utrecht gives you the opportunity for a possible extension. They also have a new program, a type of internship program, which I think is a really good idea. I can suggest/request a type of job or sector that I am looking for a job in. They will try their best to find a business or office that will take me in as a (unpaid) intern. This way, I can practice my Dutch in the work environment, and learn the words/terms in that field. Also it can help get me contacts in the field I'm looking for a job in. I think I may try this, once I get better in speaking.

So this whole program, while aiming to integrate thousands of immigrants into the Dutch culture, from what they say, sounds like a more individual type format/approach. I have a contact person with the city, if the classes are too fast or too slow, they will help re-place me. They won't just place me in a group with people who are not at my same level, as that won't be any benefit to me at all. This is my current situation with this neighborhood organization that offers a class once a week on Wednesdays. I've gone I think 4 times, and it is not good at all- rather disorganized and loose, and way below my level. Plus the other ladies (like 4) in the class are much older than me, but I think not quite at my educational level...they don't seem like completely bright people...its taking them 4 classes of 2 hours to even understand how to conjugate a single present tense verb of "to be" and "to have". Its like pulling teeth-- painful!

I also learned that I can get a Dutch passport in 3 years instead of the normal 5, because my partner has Dutch nationality and I am here for partner reunification. Normal migrants here for work or school or those that came on their own, have to wait 5 years. But according the the US government I would have to give up my US passport. At this point I'm not even considering Dutch nationality. And honestly, I don't know if I'd ever want to get it. Definitely not at this point! 3 years seems a short amount of time to 'become Dutch'...I don't think after 30 years I would even be considered Dutch, even if I was fluent and everything.

The next big thing I'm waiting for now, is the actual letter from the IND...hopefully by July (they have til the end of August) I'll hear something from them. I'll have to have a party for that one.

Get off of me!

Not to be a 'Debbie Downer' or anything, but I had a bit of a interesting experience, yet again basketball related...as I dwelled on my actions, I came to an interesting conclusion.

Monday night I played again on M's team in a student league. A player on the other team was a little over aggressive and I think a little over the top. At one point in the first half, I grabbed a rebound and waited for everyone to clear out before I started dribbling out. Well, this player was all over me, smothering me to try to get the ball. In a normal game with real refs, they would have (should have) called a reaching foul. Normally I would not say anything out loud, but this guy was really irritating me. And, as I'm probably a little too overly competitive and too hard on myself, in a burst of frustration as I was pivoting back and forth trying to get this guy off of me (I couldn't dribble to get away from him because he was all over me), I screamed out "Get OFF of ME!!" I was really ticked off! And I think I surprised or scared him so much that he did immediately get off of me. It felt really good to yell. But immediately afterwards, I felt rather embarrassed, as it was a little over the top for me to do that, especially at this level of student play. The game doesn't even matter. And its not like I'm thinking he should treat me differently because I'm a girl player...that's stupid...I just wanted him to get the heck off of me!

In the end, we won by a few points, but in the few times I actually did get the ball, I missed four shots, 2 of which were super easy. I am very hard on myself. I left for the locker room without even talking to the others on my team. I was ticked for missing the shot in the last minute, and I was upset at myself for screaming at the other guy. As I sat outside alone waiting for M to 'hit the showers'...I thought that perhaps this outburst at one guy, was representative of my experience as a whole right now with 'the Dutch'...if I can generalize it so. I feel extremely smothered at times, and extremely belittled by a few select people who don't even know me...where I am immediately put 'back in my place' as someone who is different and not equal. Of course, even after yelling, I realized that by screaming in English, I was immediately recognized as an outsider and not 'normal'...as the Dutch really thrive on having everyone 'act normal' and on the same level. I don't think I'm very often my full, real self when I am around people other than M (or maybe his friends or my one friend too), as I don't feel I can when I'm talking to someone new, which doesn't happen often anyways. I can't use the slang or sarcastic sense of humor that I usually speak with in the US, because its not really always understood here (unless I am talking to someone who is good with English). I just want everyone to get off my back, and get off my case about integration! Is that always the only thing it can be, integrate or not? I want to be myself. But how can I if I am supposed to "integrate" to their ways? Integration is always the first question topic no matter what...if not "where are you from?" Either way, both questions establish that you are not from here.

How am I supposed to make friends here? At this age, people are out of school and not as big into drinking and socializing with new people...they have jobs and partners and perhaps kids (there are older members in the basketball club I'm going to join). They have their established friends, and don't really open up to new people more than an acquaintance level.

Maybe I'm just too sensitive and I should just shut up.

In any case, it was a nice release to scream out loud like that...I know I have to not care as much about what other people say about integrating or speaking the language. But I do care, and I don't know why I am this way. My emotions are stored up til there is a big outburst. Too bad one player had to be the brunt of my screams towards the population as a whole! That is...if you accept my in-depth analysis of what my outburst really was.

Maybe I just wanted the guy to get off of me.

Integration...by murder?

My life has been pretty full of basketball lately.While it is good I'm keeping busy and getting exercise at the same time, I also don't want to become sick of it so soon! But more the problem now is that I've been busy at night with games and practicing...that I hardly have seen or spent time with M! Monday we both play on the same team. Tuesday he had to work late and was home after 9pm. Wednesday I had practice and got home at 1030 and he was sleeping. Thursday was a free day for once, but Friday I again played in a sort of mixed tourney with some student bball club from Utrecht. Too busy!

Yesterday was also a day related to basketball...but for a different reason. The club I am going to join in the fall, was celebrating their 16th 'birthday'. They were having an all day party, which included some games in the afternoon, and during dinner, we had a game of "murder". I was kinda worried about this all week, as I had to have M's sister translate my part, since he couldn't know who I was or anything about my character. I was really worried that I would not be able to follow along in the game and really embarrass myself...even though this is all for fun. But I don't always have that mindset, as there is usually someone who makes me feel more stressed, and always at least one comment about "inburgering"...aka- integrating. It never fails to be mentioned.

So we sat at a table of 7, 6 of us were players, and there was one 'host' or leader. the first round i was really rather lost and getting upset with myself that I shouldn't even be here. Luckily the leader helped with some of the translating, and one other woman at the table spoke in English for me. But at one point, someone asked, 'shouldn't we all just do it in English?', and of course, there was one person who quickly objected and stated that I should 'inburger'. Well, what do you think I'm trying to do then? By coming to this party, I was trying my best. I could just stay at home and shut myself inside and never come out. I'm sure people who make these comments have never lived in another country or known someone personally who has lived abroad. Then they would be a bit more empathetic towards my situation. I try to be social, but a lot of times it makes me feel even more isolated. Social situations are hard enough for me in my own language! I'm an introverted person, I wonder why I have gone on this path in life to live in another country.

In any case, the game was alright in the end, the dinner was good, and I had some laughs when I knew what was going on. My character, Meta de Vries, was not the murderer, and on the 3rd and last try, I did correctly guess the murderer (mordenaar).

Today we could finally rest and not have any obligations to go to. We planted some flowers in the planter I bought at IKEA last week to put on our balcony...which I want to make all nice for summer. I bought some marigolds (Spaanse margriet) at the flower market yesterday morning. Also a lavender plant for one euro- that is in the hanging planter. The Dutchie bought a mint plant and some thyme, as he's all about the natural herbs. ;-)

Many congrats today-- to Rachel for graduating with her masters in nursing! Yeah! Congrats to Vivi and Maarten on their engagement! And Happy Mother's Day to my mom...so all you others out there, don't forget to give your mom a call! :-)